Guano crazy candidates QUESTION

Only recently have I realized that Herman Cain is also guano crazy.

For seven years out of eight years (2002-2007, 2009), we had at least one live bat in our house. The problem seems to finally be solved by roof insulation and fixing some gaps between the roof and the main house structure. One of the telltale signs you have a bat, even if you don’t see it: guano, which means bat poop.

I was talking about some of the candidates for President with my wife, and I was divvying them up between those with whom I merely oppose politically and those who I called “guano crazy”. I don’t know if I had made up that phraseology, or stole it from someone unconsciously, but I’ve become rather fond of it.

The question: among those who have announced that they are running, which candidates do you consider guano crazy? Democracy for America is running a poll, asking, among the Republicans: Who do you think would make the worst President? When I took the poll a few days ago, Rick Perry had a clear plurality of the votes cast, with over 40% of the vote, followed by Michelle Bachmann (c. 25%), Mitt Romney, and Herman Cain.

I would consider Perry to be guano crazy. His disastrous debates, when he decides to be too clever, but it backfires, as he mangles his narrative badly.

Michelle Bachmann is quite guano crazy as well, confusing both her American geographic history (Concord, NH is not THE Concord of Lexington and Concord, MA), but her rock and roll history (celebrating Elvis’ birthday on Elvis’ death day).

Only recently have I realized that Herman Cain is also guano crazy if he believes that it’s primarily the unemployed’s fault that they are without jobs. Santorum (don’t Google that word!) is guano, crazily trying to get Google to change its algorithms to keep him from being embarrassed, a situation he largely brought on himself through his bigotry.

Whereas, Huntsman, Romney, Buddy Roemer (who doesn’t even get to appear in the debates), I merely tend to disagree with. Gingrich checks the weather and takes whatever position he believes will be most popular; a snake. Ron Paul, I totally agree with about 10% of the time, but then he keeps talking.

Keep in mind that one of the guanos could be the next Vice-President if he or she doesn’t get the Prez nod. And don’t underestimate the ABR (Anyone But Romney) factor, which might make one of them the standard-bearer for the party in November 2012.

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

7 thoughts on “Guano crazy candidates QUESTION”

  1. I agree with all your “guano crazies,” and if only Sarah were running, too, we’d add to the pile.

    Ron Paul seems like an old hippie, but then his lips move and you realize he WAS a hippie who did one too many Quaaludes.

    The only reason Reps. like Romney is because he reminds them (visually) of the Bushes. I swear this is true. Most people vote on who “looks the most presidential,” and Obama was a fluke.

    The Prez is fast losing my support. Peace Prize and then escalate in Afghanistan and KEEP launching Predator drones after you’ve realized they are hackable? Disgusting. He promised to end it, and the only reason he’s doing the Afghan thing is to “ensure American interests in India.” When you hear American Interests, they are NOT talking about you and me… they are talking about multinational corporations. Insanity. Amy

  2. “Guano crazy”, yes, and that explains why the Republican field smells awful.

    Seriously, I Will vote to re-elect President Obama and hope for better in 2016. The idea of ANY of the Republicans becoming president is, to me, utterly terrifying, particularly because they may control both houses of Congress. I know people have their issues with President Obama (as do I), but there are two words that keep going through my mind: Supreme Court. The next president will appoint at least one, probably two, justices to replace retiring liberal justices. I will not risk Republicans being able to put more rightwing extremists on the court and lock-in a far right super majority for a generation. That prospect is even worse than guano smells.

  3. Maybe you’ll have better luck with your neologism than I did with “guanophenia,” which seems not to have caught on anywhere.

  4. yes, actually. She thinks that she doesn’t even like peanut butter. She goes, ‘yuck’, when she even reads about PB&J sandwiches.

  5. “Herman Cain said he wants people to know that there’s more between his ears than pepperoni and pizza sauce. He says there’s also a few napkins and crazy bread.” –Conan O’Brien

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