Roger Answers Your Questions, Scott and Jaquandor

Queries from veteran Roger queriers,

First up is the noble Scott:

Is there a team you are rooting for to win the Super Bowl?

Besides the Giants, who just don’t deserve it this year (41-9 loss to Carolina yesterday?), gotta be the Saints. Partly it a parochial hope that a Super Bowl appearance will once again point out the aftermath of Katrina and how much is yet undone in the recovery. Also, can’t help but think it would give the city a real boost; they’ve already postponed some Mardi Gras events in anticipation of getting to the big game. And yes, I thought losing to the Cowboys was probably a good thing; get the loss out of their system. (So naturally they lose to Tampa Bay yesterday.) The perfect season was a curse for the Patriots a couple seasons back, so the loss to the Jets – who are still in playoff contention – theoretically will help the Colts. Or not.

What is your favorite Christmas family tradition?

I’m still grasping at any kind of tradition. We had a tree the last three years, but not the previous two. What we eat varies; this year it was lasagna! And while I sing on Christmas Eve, it’s hardly a FAMILY tradition, since my wife and daughter weren’t there. In fact, I didn’t see my daughter at all on Christmas Eve, though I did talk with her twice on the phone. The tree decorations I used to have seem to have disappeared. So it’s not so much tradition; it’s jazz improv, and it’s all good.

Do you do a lot of decorating inside and outside your house for the holidays?

Outside, not at all. Inside, the Christmas cards – and we got a LOT of Christmas cards this year, more than ever – go around the entryway to our living room. In fact we had so many, we put a few on the other side, the entryway back into the hallway. There’s the tree. There’s red garland on the railing heading upstairs. We do have a creche.

The daughter constructed a snowman from paper, which we hung up. She also made some drawings that got put around the house.

What Christmas gift made the most lasting impression on you?

That would be the Beatles in Mono box set that I got in…2009. It wasn’t just that I got the music; it was something I wanted and Santa delivered that singular package that was more than Santa is inclined to spend on a one item.

What was the best Christmas gift you received as a child?

Seriously, a Johnny Seven OMA (One Man Army); I played with that forever and STILL turned out as a pacifist. Tom Hanks got one as a kid, he once told Leno.

Although the family getting a color TV in 1969, when I was 16, was huge, too; we literally saw the world in a different way. Watching the Wizard of Oz the next year, in particular, was a revelation; a “horse of a different color”, indeed.

Merry Christmas to you and your family, Roger!

You too, Scott.

The best of the west, western NYS, that is, Jaquandor asks:

Do you cook? If so, what? Do you have a favorite ethnic cuisine? If so, what?

I did cook. And I was functional, not inspirational, at things like chicken. But I don’t particularly enjoy it, Carol’s better at it, and I get home close to 6:30 pm. I tend to make eggs, pancakes, oatmeal, grilled cheese sandwiches, those kinds of things on the weekends.

My favorite ethnic cuisine is lasagna, which I used to make in the winter, though the recent Christmas meal in fact was made by the wife and mother-in-law; I shredded the mozzarella. I also used to bake, but likewise Carol’s more ept and I, rather inept. Damn, I just remember a time I confused baking powder with baking soda in a pancake recipe; it was AWFUL.

And do you have a strong opinion one way or the other on Governor Paterson?

Notice that David Paterson’s positives have gone from the low 20s to the mid 30s. Still not great, and still losing to Andrew Cuomo by 40 points, should the attorney general run in a primary against him. But perhaps there is a recognition that he’s at least TRYING to balance the budget, whereas the state legislature is unable/unwilling to. I wonder if those television ads, like this one are having an effect.

I have a question for you; do you think those Saturday Night Live parodies hurt him with the electorate? I’ve been under the impression that the NYS voters and SNL watchers are not that linked, but I could be wrong.

I can/do argue with some of his choices; his cuts to education and libraries seem particularly short-sighted. But I haven’t written him off politically, especially if Rick Lazio, who ran a TERRIBLE campaign against Hillary Clinton in the U.S. Senate race in 2000, turns out to be the GOP nominee, rather than Rudy Giuliani.

ROG

Christmas Meme, Part 2


Grade/Rate Holiday Movies A – F

91. A Christmas Story. B+

92. How The Grinch Stole Christmas? A+ if we’re talking Chuck Jones. Never saw Ron Howard’s.

93. The Santa Clause? Have I ever seen any of these all the way through?

94. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer? B

95. Frosty The Snowman? B-

96. Home Alone? B-

97. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation? D-

98. Elf? Didn’t see

99. Miracle on 34th Street? A

100. A Charlie Brown Christmas? A+

Christmas At My House…(one or the other)

111. Tree is fake/real?

Real, optimally. Though in fact we had no tree when Lydia was nine months old because we were too tired to bother. We didn’t have one when she was 21 months because we feared she’d pull it down.

112. Tree is under/above 4′?

About 5′ most years, though this years is 7′.

113. Open presents Christmas Eve/Day?

Christmas Day. Though there may be stockings opened on Christmas Eve.

114. House/entire yard is decorated?

We don’t decorate the outside.

115. Amount of presents under the tree?

Very few before Christmas Eve.

116. Snowman is a male/female?

Lydia made one Sunday. Male.

117. Go for Santa/Jesus?

I’m not sure what that means.

118. Homemade/delivered/takeout Christmas dinner?

Usually homemade if I’m not making it; otherwise, takeout.

119. Bedtime is before/after midnight?

10 pm most nights.

120. Wake-up is before/after 7am?

Probably 5:30 now. When I was a kid, Dad pushed the wakeup time for the household later and later, from 7 when I was 7 to 9 when I was 16.

121. Go/don’t go to church on Christmas?

Don’t, generally, though I did once or twice recently. Christmas Eve, I go to, usually sing at. Even in my non-church-going phase, I’d go to Christmas Eve, usually a Catholic service. And I’ve never been Catholic.

122. Pray & sing Happy Birthday/do nothing before bed?

I sometimes pray. But “Happy Birthday, Jesus” is hysterical! Jesus almost certainly was a Pisces; seriously.

123. Do shopping before/after Thanksgiving?

If I’m inspired, I shop before Thanksgiving. I was shopping this Sunday past, so that should tell you something.

124. Low-key/over the top decorations (inside and out)?

Low-key.

Have You Ever?

125. Built a snowman?
Of course.

126. Heard Santa’s sleigh?
Yes. Must have been a recording. Wasn’t it?

127. Seen Santa & Rudolph in the sky?
Well, no, except in my dreams.

128. Sat on Santa’s lap?
I know I have. There’s even a picture somewhere. But I don’t really have any memories of it.

129. Shoveled the driveway/sidewalk?
Ugh, yes.

130. Made snow angels?
Yes.

131. Built a fort/igloo?
Yep.

132. Wrote a Christmas list?
Yes.

133. Wrote a letter to Santa?
Yes.

134. Left cookies/milk for Santa & reindeer?
Yes, ever since we had a child. But remember doing so when I was a child.

135. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Of course.

136. Went caroling?
Used to do it every year for about a decade and a half.

137. Got hurt during the winter season?
Just the frostbite.

138. Gone ice skating/sledding?
I’m lousy at skating. Sledding I did regularly as a kid.

139. Kissed under a mistletoe?
Yes.

140. Experienced/saw a miracle happen?
Maybe.

141. Get everything you wanted for Christmas?
Yes, but my needs are limited.

142. Cooked/baked?
There was a period that I did both, mostly when I was single.

True Or False

181. You prefer to stay inside where it’s warm?
Truer words were never spoken.

182. You’ve given something (or $) to charity?
Very True.

183. You spent more than what people spent on you?
Almost always true.

184. You like to take your time opening presents?
True, and try to apply the brakes to the child.

185. The thing you want most this year costs $100+?
True, but that’s MOST unusual.

186. You expect to get more than 10 presents this year?
False.

187. You’re a Scrooge/Grinch?
I don’t think so.

188. Christmas = snow?
True, lightly on Christmas Eve.

189. You know the lyrics to more than 25 Christmas songs?
Oh, indeed true. I love Christmas music. I have three or four BOOKS.

Grab Bag

190. Three best things about Christmas?
The music, the decorations, the possibilities.

191. Worst Christmas song?
I especially hate “Dominick the Donkey”.

192. If you were a Christmas character, who would you be?
Bob Cratchit.

193. What type of decoration should stop being made?
Any that are poisoning the environment.

194. Tastiest holiday treat?
Sugar cookies.

195. Favorite pop culture Christmas icon?
I like Charlie Brown and his little tree.

196. Know how to make cookies/brownies/cake from scratch?
I did; haven’t done it in so long, though.

197. Ever cut your mouth on a candy cane/candy?
Yes, as a kid.

198. What other culture would you like to experience Christmas with?
Interested to do so in the Southern Hemisphere.

199. What kind of pattern/pictures do you like on your wrapping paper?
Wrapping paper is a real sore point. I used to think that it was dumb. I would just as soon use the funnies from the Sunday newspaper, but was mocked for it. Now it’s rather ahead of the curve environmentally. So I REALLY don’t care.

200. Will you make a Christmas picture for your blog/website/profile?
Nah, I’m a lazy bum.

ROG

Christmas Meme, Part 1


There is this meme that SamuraiFrog did. Then Jaquandor found some more. But neither of them are as long as this one. So I’m splitting it; half today, half tomorrow. OK, with the skips, it’s not really half. And I’m not renumbering this puppy.

Favorite Christmas…

01. Non-Jesus-related song?
“Good King Wenceslas”.

02. Jesus-related song?
The Coventry Carol; it’s on A Very Special Christmas #1. But then there are all the songs that I sing in choir. The first part of Handel Messiah. Lully, lulla, thou little tiny child. Almost anything in another language, from Adeste Fideles to Stille Nacht. And the Shepherd’s Farewell by Berlioz awes me every verse.

03. Santa-related song?
“Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”, the Jackson Five version.

04. Fictional character?
Ebeneezer Scrooge.

05. Dinner’s main course?
Variable. Can be turkey, ham or something else altogether.

06. Dinner’s dessert?
Also no tradition here.

07. Scent (pine, gingerbread, candles…)?
Pine.

08. Animated movie?
I can’t think of a Christmas-related animated movie I need to see every year. I did see A Charlie Brown Christmas. Oh, BTW, just came across the mashup of A Charlie Brown Christmas with Hey Ya by Outkast; it’ll be a while before I get tired of it.

09. Non-animated movie?
I’ve seen It’s A Wonderful Life. Not required (e.g., probably won’t see it this year.)

10. Personal memory?
So many, which I’ve mentioned before.

11. Story/Fairy Tale?
A Christmas Carol.

This or That

12. Candy cane or peppermint patties?
Probably the only time I eat candy canes. I prefer peppermint patties but don’t associate them with Christmas.

13. Sugar or gingerbread cookies?
Sugar.

14. Tinsel or beaded strands?
Grew up with tinsel. Now, neither.

15. Multi-colored or same-colored lights?
White. Grew up with multicolored.

16. Flashing or still lights?
Still. Grew up with flashing.

17. Wreaths or mistletoe/holly?
Wreaths, but that’s my wife.

18. Rudolph or Frosty?
Rudolph, because I relate to his oppression. Besides my daughter has a Frosty book and I find it creepy.

19. Sledding or snowball fights?
Incresingly, neither. I liked sledding as a kid, but since I got frostbite on my feet when I was 16, I just don’t play much outdoors.

20. Snow or ice/icicles?
Light snow.

21. Snow hat or earmuffs?
Hat.

22. Getting or giving?
I’ve lost (mostly) my getting vibe. Getting for Lydia is fun; the rest, not so much.

23. Snow days or plow trucks?
Plows. My wife and daughter have snow days and I’m jealous as hell.

24. Stockings or presents?
Both.

25. Cookies & milk or letter to Santa?
Both.

26. Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
Christmas Eve for certain.

27. Log Burning Channel or real thing?
The real thing, though I currently don’t have the capacity.

28. Cards or emails?
Cards, though in fact this is is the first since Lydia was born that we’ve sent any (and only nine thus far.)

29. Shoveling or cleaning off the car?
I prefer shoveling. It’s a consistent motion. I went years without access to a car, so the hassle bothers me more. I live in the city so I don’t NEED a car.

30. The Inn’s manger or the animals?
Animals, a function of a Lydia book about the Christmas owl.

31. Mary & Joseph or The Wise Men?
I always played one of the Wise Men, so there’s that. Sang a Magnificat (Mary story) this past week, though, so it’s a tossup.

32. Hot cocoa or eggnog?
Eggnog, because I don’t associate hot cocoa with the season especially.

33. Jack Frost or Little Drummer Boy?
I used to sing Little Drummer Boy.

“Yay!” or “Ugh”:

34. Holiday shopping?
Ugh! (Though online has made it tolerable. Barely.)

35. Icy roads?
Ugh.

36. Limited driving visibility?
Well, ugh.

37. Christmas carolers.
Yay! (I’ve been one.)

38. Mall Santas?
Depends on the quality of the Santa.

39. Salvation Army Santas?
Yay! Love this improv bit!

40. Blizzards?
If I’m at work, Ugh. If I’m at home and I don’t have to go anywhere, Yay!

41. 24/7 Holiday radio?
Ugh! They play the same damn songs every other day. I’ll play my own, thank you. My wife is a Yay om this, BTW.

42. Freezing cold?
Ugh!

43. Setting up the tree?
Yay!

44. Wrapping presents?
Ugh. I stink at it.

45. Visiting/seeing family?
Feh. Doesn’t happen.

46. Ad-Lib on “Rudolph (like Monopoly!)
Does that bit have a more formal name? I find that it exists in lots of songs of that period, including Over the Rainbow and Try a Little Tenderness. Yay.

47. Free mint red/white candy?
Yay!

48. Belief in Santa Claus?
Yay!

49. Chocolate advent calender?
Did this one year. It was really inferior chocolate. Ugh.

50. Peeking at your gifts (or by accident)?
Ugh!

51. Making out with Santa under the mistletoe?
Depends on the Santa.

52. Decorated houses?
Yay!

53. Extreme decorated houses?
Ugh! Big ugh!

54. White Christmas morning?
Yay!

55. Searching for ornaments in the attic?
Meh. Actually we have a ridiculously organized place for them, so no searching involved.

56. Santa knowing when you’re sleeping and awake?
Very Large Ugh! I actually heard a sermon on this topic.

First Thought That Comes To Mind When You Hear…

67. Snowflake!
Crazy. It’s the flake thing.

68. Pinecones!
Snow.

69. Elves!
Hound Dog. OH, ELVES; I thought you said ELVIS. Santa.

70. Sleigh!
Jingle bells.

71. Presents!
Tree.

72. Cookies!
Yummy.

73. Misletoe!
A girl named Mary.

74. Rudolph!
Some Nazi war criminal.

75. Blizzard!
March 1888. Biggest snow storm in Albany history, also affecting NYC. Killed a bunch of people.

76. School’s Canceled!
Lucky them, but I gprobably have to go to work anyway.

77. Ice Skating!
Trying it once to woo Carol. It worked; haven’t done it since.

78. Santa’s Lap!
Uncomfortable.

79. Black Friday!
To avoid at all costs.

80. God’s Son!
We’re all God’s children.

81. Melting Snow!
Relief.

82. Lumps of Coal!
My grandmother heated with coal.

83. Nutcracker!
Tchaikovsky

84. Ho Ho Ho!
Santa Claus

85. North Pole!
Global warming and starving polar bears.

What’s a Winter Activity YOU Do…

86. …In the snow by yourself?
I try not to go out in the snow by myself. I try to stay indoors as much as possible.

87. …Inside by yourself?
Play Christmas songs.

88. …In a public place (with/alone)?
Go to the movies.

89. …With friends/family in the snow at home?
Look, I’m not going out in the snow.

90. …With friends/family inside at home?
Watch TV. Christmas episodes.

ROG

Christmas Shopping QUESTIONS

Are you a Black Friday shopper? Or even a Thanksgiving day shopper? I’m not. I HATE shopping on Black Friday, with something approaching religious fervor. More accurately, the one time I went out there in the big box stores, I felt like an atheist at a tent revival.

Actually, there was a Black Friday a few years ago that wasn’t so bad. We went shopping in a little town called Delhi, NY. It was no more crowded than a normal shopping day. It was relaxed and pleasant.

Are you a Cyber Monday shopper? I have been, and would have been this year, save for the fact that I had a sick child who was not so ill that we couldn’t play the usual coterie of games (Sorry, Uno and Candyland) over and over, plus reading to her.

For years, I used to have a tradition before online shopping got so easy. I’d take off a weekday from work around December 17 and do all my shopping in one day. It was early enough that if it didn’t pan out, I still had the weekend, but close enough to create urgency in me without anxiety.

What kind of Christmas shopper are you?

ROG

The Bob Dylan Christmas Album QUESTION


As you may have heard, Bob Dylan is going to be releasing a Christmas album in October, a benefit album. (The YouTube video on this page has Tennessee Ernie Ford singing and Jon Provost, who played Timmy on Lassie, trying to pretend to be attentive; very odd.)

Our library director Darrin and his brother-in-law Fred, both rather expert in Dylanology, started exchanging possible song titles for the collection, including:

Santa, Could You Please Crawl in My Window
Knockin’ on Santa’s Door
Santa, I Believe in You
Sleigh Bells Blowin’ in the Wind
I Dreamed I Saw St. Nicholas
Santa, Lay Down Your Weary Sack
You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go, Santa
Stay, Santa, Stay
Every Flake of Snow
Buckets of Coal (In My Stocking)
North Pole Homesick Blues
It’s All Over Now, Baby Red-Nosed Reindeer
Santa Claus Lane Revisited
Man in the 2-XL Red Coat
Positively 34th Street
Can You Please Crawl Up Your Chimney?
Dear Santa
You’re a Big Girl Now (…to Believe in Santa Claus)
It Ain’t Me, Kid (Now, Go Back to Bed!)
Ballad of a Not-so Thin Man
Annual Gift-Giver from the North Country
A Hard Snow’s A-Gonna Fall
Twelve Days
Motorsled Nitemare
Ring Them Silver Bells
It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Needing)
Boots of Arctic Leather
Chimneys of Freedom
Please, Mrs. Claus
One More Glass of Milk

I tried but only came up with these few:
Absolutely Sweet Mary
All the Tired Reindeer
Can You Please Crawl Down My Chimney?
When I Trim My Mantelpiece
With Nick On Our Side

Any suggestions?

ROG

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