G is for “The Great One,” Jackie Gleason

Gleason’s first album, Music for Lovers Only, still holds the record for the album longest in the Billboard Top Ten Charts

I recently noticed that actor/comedian Jackie Gleason would have turned 100 on February 26, 2016, and will have been dead 30 years come June 24, 2017.

When I was growing up in the 1960s, I used to watch his Saturday night variety show on CBS fairly regularly. Gleason played a variety of characters, including the snobbish millionaire Reginald Van Gleason III, the put-upon character known as the Poor Soul, and Joe the Bartender, who always greeted the bug-eyed “Crazy” Guggenheim (Frank Fontaine) before the latter would break into mellifluous song.

The show featured Sammy Spear and his orchestra, and the June Taylor Dancers, who were often shown in aerial pattern kaleidoscope formations, probably my favorite part of the show.

Before that show aired, there was The Honeymooners. Gleason was Ralph Kramden, on a series also starring Audrey Meadows (pictured with Gleason) as his wife, and Art Carney and Joyce Randolph as the apartment building neighbors. It is a classic 1950s TV program, though I didn’t much like it when I saw it in reruns as a child. The bus driver really bugged me with his rants such as “to the moon, Alice,” as though he were going to punch out his spouse. The Honeymooners was reprised in the 1960s with Carney, but with different actresses.

My mother had several albums of music with Gleason’s name attached. He lent his imprimatur to “a series of best-selling ‘mood music’ albums with jazz overtones for Capitol Records… Gleason’s first album, Music for Lovers Only, still holds the record for the album longest in the Billboard Top Ten Charts (153 weeks), and his first 10 albums sold over a million copies each.

“Gleason could not read or write music; he was said to have conceived melodies in his head and described them vocally to assistants who transcribed them into musical notes. These included the well-remembered themes of both The Jackie Gleason Show (‘Melancholy Serenade‘) and The Honeymooners (‘You’re My Greatest Love‘).”

Jackie Gleason had a decent movie career. I watched him, much after the fact, in The Hustler (1961) as pool shark Minnesota Fats. I saw him in the first two Smokey and the Bandit films, but not the third one. I recall enjoying his last film, Nothing in Common (1986), with an upcoming actor named Tom Hanks.

But perhaps the strangest thing in his career took place January 20, 1961: “‘You’re in the Picture‘ was a… replacement game show. Contestants would stick their heads through a cut-out board and guess what character they were. The first installment was so much of a failure that on the second week of the time slot Jackie Gleason came out, sat in a chair, and talked about how horrible the first show had been. He was hilarious.”

From TV Show to Movie

This is just not a subgenre I inherently trust. These films get made because of their familiarity…

The A-Team picture is opening this weekend. I hardly ever watched the TV show, so the only reason that I’d even consider seeing the film is that it features Liam Neeson in the George Peppard role. On the other hand, it was not made available to critics, which is usually a sign that it will suck, though the early Rotten Tomatoes score was 53, not great, but not awful. The “Consensus: For better and for worse, Joe Carnahan’s big-screen version of The A-Team captures the superficial, noisy spirit of the TV series.”

It got me to wondering: how have movies made from TV shows fared? I’m not thinking of movies such as the X-Files or Sex in the City, which are essentially continuations of the TV series, generally with the same actors. I was thinking more of the reimaginings, with new actors and directors. I limited the list to the 21st Century, because, my goodness, there are a LOT of them! BTW, I ignored animation to live action (George of the Jungle) or things that went back and forth from movies to TV to movies (Robin Hood) or anything I never heard of, but if you think I’ve missed something, by all means, let me know.

Bewitched (2005)
RT score-24
Production Budget: $85 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $63,313,159 48.2%
+ Foreign: $68,113,010 51.8%
= Worldwide: $131,426,169
The foreign box office salvaged this one. Will Ferrell starred in this; he had a cameo in Starsky & Hutch. Steve Carrell, star of Get Smart, has a cameo here.

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
RT score-43
Production Budget: $120 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $100,830,111 38.9%
+ Foreign: $158,345,677 61.1%
= Worldwide: $259,175,788
the huge foreign b.o made this sequel successful. The initial 2000 film cost less, made more money and reviewed better (RT-67)

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
RT score-14
Production Budget: $50 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $80,270,227 72.3%
+ Foreign: $30,799,288 27.7%
= Worldwide: $111,069,515
Despite scathing reviews, made money. I have to think it was, in large part, because of Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke.

Get Smart (2008)
RT score-52
Production Budget: $80 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $130,319,208 56.5%
+ Foreign: $100,366,245 43.5%
= Worldwide: $230,685,453
I should see this.


The Honeymooners (2005)
RT score-14
Production Budget: $25 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $12,843,849 97.4%
+ Foreign: $339,577 2.6%
= Worldwide: $13,183,426
On the title track of Quincy Jones’ eclectic 1989 album Back on the Block, there’s a couplet offered up by Big Daddy Kane:
We shoulda got our freedom much sooner
You never seen a blackman on The Honeymooners

I have no knowledge of this, but I have to wonder if that sentiment was the inspiration for this quite unsuccessful remake with a predominantly black cast.

I Spy (2002)
RT score-15
Production Budget: $70 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $33,561,137 66.2%
+ Foreign: $17,171,808 33.8%
= Worldwide: $50,732,945
This Eddie Murphy bomb also featured Owen Wilson, who would fare better a couple years later in Starky & Hutch.

Miami Vice (2006)
RT score-47
Production Budget: $135 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $63,450,470 38.7%
+ Foreign: $100,344,039 61.3%
= Worldwide: $163,794,509
Colin Ferrell was in this and the earlier, and equally middling cop-based film, S.W.A.T., though S.W.A.T. had the better domestic gross.

Mission: Impossible III (2006)
RT score 70 (1996-57,2000-57)
Production Budget: $150 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $134,029,801 33.7%
+ Foreign: $263,820,211 66.3%
= Worldwide: $397,850,012
Interesting that the third film rated better than the predecessors in 1996 and 2000 (both 57), but the original and the first sequel were more profitable. this begs the question about the potential success of the fourth film, scheduled for release in 2011.

Star Trek (2009)
RT score-94
Production Budget: $150 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $257,730,019 66.9%
+ Foreign: $127,764,536 33.1%
= Worldwide: $385,494,555
Don’t know if I should count this one, given all of its cinematic antecedents, but it seemed to meet the criteria. Definitely need to see this film.

Starsky & Hutch (2004)
RT score-63
Production Budget: $60 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $88,237,754 51.8%
+ Foreign: $82,030,996 48.2%
= Worldwide: $170,268,750
This Ben Stiller film did better than I recalled.

S.W.A.T. (2003)
RT score-48
Production Budget: $80 million
Total Lifetime Grosses
Domestic: $116,934,650 56.3%
+ Foreign: $90,790,989 43.7%
= Worldwide: $207,725,639

So this is just not a subgenre I inherently trust. These films get made because of their familiarity, but often, the film is schlock, the box office is disappointing, or both. This is not to say that these movies are always a bust – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106977/ The Fugitive (1994) was a big hit commercially and critically, though the TV show based on the movie, which had been based on the TV show, was not.

I’m also wary of TV-to-TV remakes. I have oddly fond memories of Hawaii 5-0, and the remake this fall doesn’t excite me, not because it will necessarily be bad, but because it won’t be what I want from that brand. Still, I’ll check out the new version – maybe.

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