Library Humor

A couple months ago, someone on a library listserv I’m on (BUSLIB) was looking working for videos of people trying to return a retail product or getting gadgets to work. All sorts of suggestions popped up, some of which are shared here. See what fun-loving folks librarians are? The videos are of varying quality, but some are hysterical. In honor of National Library Week.

Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch Monty Python…Monty Python Hilarious Brilliant

A “Best City” Customer Service Story! “Here is a video I made at my former place of employment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w85dSkbTTSsWe were poking fun of the horrible customer service that is so common with the big box.”

The Answer – Retail Return. “I had to augment the living hell out of it. The on-stage actors were not projecting at all….retail return FFHS FFHStudios whispering”

Retail Hell or a Diffcult Life
Retail work sucks but you can get even! Watch and learn….Retail customers from hell getting even.

Wal-Mart’s Customer Service. For more information, visit www.walmartwatch.com.

Gateway Update – Still No Support . “For three weeks, Gateway is still telling me that they are unwilling to provide me with any customer support or service. BLAH! Still a Grade “F.”

Bad Customer Service #1Very bad customer service

Retail 103: Customer Returns And Exchanges. “NOTE: this one has some foul language so I have a feeling it won’t suffice – but I include it nonetheless.” Not THAT foul…

Funny Dell Customer Service CallA really funny Dell customer service call.

A Comcast Technician Sleeping on my Couch. “This is my tribute to Comcast, their low quality technology and their poor customer service. UPDATE: My service has been restored.”

iPod Customer Service. “the Dirty secret have to watch this… (based on real life experience, no hoax).”

Customer Disservice “Have you ever received really bad customer service?”

How to Get a Customer Service Human. “With a human in customer service can be a godsend, especially after spending hours in ‘automated phone menu’ hell.”

terrible customer service. Make fun of their customers…funny skit.”

Customer Service Training Video

Optimus Maximus Keyboard: Horrible Customer Service. “Read that right. I’ve had it with this company. Their customer service is absolutely horrible.”

Customer Service. “A reenactment of my experience with my DSL provider…Eyeopener Films Home Movies New Customer Service DSL.”

Unboxing – not always on target, but a source.

Expo TV: video reviews of consumer products – “made by real people!” Some are actually positive.

David Pogue’s Song spoofs. Some are over a decade old, but what the hey.

ROG

Roger Answers Your Questions, Chris and Scott

Our next contestant is Chris Black from across the pond, as they say.

Hi Roger

Do you have a favourte fictional librarian or library?

What got me thinking was there’s one in a science fiction novel that I read this year (- I’ll tell you about it sometime – ) called Glasshouse by Charles Stross. The book is set several centuries into the future and the hero finds himself working in a simulation of a late 20th century American public library.

First off, I must say that I cringe every time I see It’s a Wonderful Life, and George Bailey discovers that, without him, his would-be wife is reduced to this…librarian!

Yet I enjoy, on a radio program in the United States on National Public Radio, a segment on A Prairie Home Companion called “Ruth Harrison: Reference Librarian” that takes on the stereotype in a fun way. The last segment I heard, just last Saturday, she becomes the Scrooge character in A Christmas carol and at the end becomes wildly spontaneous.

If you are interested in the topic, you might want to check out this piece.
***
Scott has a number of questions:

1. What do you think the Baseball Hall of Fame should do about the steroid problems?
I think we’ve already gotten an inkling of this last year when Mark McGwire, who was NOT specifically named in the Mitchell report but who was mum before Congress on the topic a couple years back, got less than 25% of the votes. HoF voters are going to determine whether a player would have gotten in without “assistance”. They’re going to decide whether the morals clause applies. As this guy notes, Gaylord Perry got into the HoF by doctoring the ball. My own sense of things is that, assuming the allegations are true – and the Mitchell report was not really designed for that purpose – the heavy users should all get lifetime suspensions. I would make a distinction between someone who tried it once or twice (Andy Pettite, assuming he’s telling the truth) and regular users. However, I would make it possible that they could all get into the Hall – Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, McGwire, Sammy Sosa (who’s been implicated in this by a different source) – when they’re dead. Same with Shoeless Joe Jackson, who played quite well in the Black Sox series, and Pete Rose. They’ll be there in the history of the game, but they will not be able to personally profit from it.

But I’m less worried about the Hall than I am in baseball cleaning up for the future. I agree that there should be an outside lab doing unannounced testing the players, which is what happens in most sports. The players’ union would be foolish to fight this, but I suspect it will.

2. Keying off of Chris’ question, do you have a favorite fictional character (librarian or not)?
Understand that I haven’t been reading it in the last decade or so, though I’ve seen the first two movies, but it’s Spider-Man. Or that duality of Peter Parker and the webslinger. On TV, possibly Pembleton (Andre Braugher) from Homicide: Life on the Streets.

3. What is the hardest part of your job?
Boredom. “Oh, golly, not THAT question again.”

4. Do you think those of us in the US are getting too politically correct by saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” and worrying about the fact that Santa is too fat?
It’s a pluralistic society. “Happy Holidays” doesn’t bother me. I must admit that I was surprised, though, when I wished someone “Mery Christmas” a few years ago, and he said, “I don’t believe in Christmas.” I was in church at the time.
But slim Santa is dumb.

6. What is your favorite non-secular Christmas song? What is your favorite religious Christmas song?
I actually answered this question a couple weeks ago. But I’ll answer it again, and differently.
Secular: What Christmas Means to Me – Stevie Wonder; Christmas Wrapping – the Waitresses; Christmas All Over Again – Petty/Heartbreakers.
Religious: almost anything in a minor key (What Child Is This); anything with counterpoint (the chorus of Joy to the World); Adeste Fideles and Stille Nacht, in Latin and German, respectively.
Now let me me tell you what I hate: bad pronunciations. On Angels We Have Heard on High, it should be “glo ree ah” not the ugly “glor ee ah”. And the little town is “beth leh hem” not “beth LEE hem”; professional singers botch this often.

7. If the Patriots go the entire season undefeated, do you think people will complain more about it then about Barry Bonds breaking Aaron’s record?

Well, no. I think the Jets were going to lose that first game of the season. Yeah, there were a couple close games – Philadelphia and Baltimore, I think – that had some questionable referees’ calls. But they are a quality team, as much as I despise them.
BTW, I don’t understand the commentators’ point last weekend that the Giants should rest their best players this weekend now that they’re in the playoffs, rather than trying to stop New England from going 16-0. Bollocks! The psychological lift of NYG knocking off New England would be a tremendous for them going into the second season, especially now that’s going to be nationally simulcast on NBC and CBS.
That said, if the Patriots lose to Jacksonville (the best shot of the streak ending, I think), the Colts or an NFC team in the Super Bowl, then going 17-1 or 18-1 will be just a footnote in an ultimately disappointing season.

BTW, Scott, I saved one of your questions because it ties into some questions from Anthony that I’ll answer NEXT time.

ROG

Snow emergency

I hate being wrong. Sure, most people do, I suppose, but the librarian in me specifically hates giving out wrong information, especially when it’s not my fault.

We’ve been having some nasty weather around Albany recently. The snow and ice storm that came on Thursday meant that after-school activities were called off, my Bible study and choir were canceled, and it took forever to get home, as one totally full Western Avenue bus drove right by me before I caught another. Generally, Albany calls a snow emergency when the snowfall hits six inches, which involves alternate side parking and towed cars. It was 6.4″ at the airport, but the city demurred, probably in anticipation of a second storm Saturday into Sunday.

So, how does one find out about these snow emergencies? You have to dial (518) 476-SNOW when it seems that conditions are likely. So 11 a.m. Monday, I called and got the recording that there would be an emergency starting Tuesday morning at 8 a.m. This was VERY unusual, for while the city’s webpage said that it COULD start snow emergency at 8 a.m., I have no recollection of this taking place in my 28 years in the city; snow emergencies always started at 8 p.m.

So I sent a blind e-mail to some Albany folks to let them know. One writes back, “How do you know? The 476-SNOW number’s not working, and nothing’s on the city page.” So, I called the main number of the Department of General Services around 11:30 a.m. and the woman I spoke to said that she knew that 476-SNOW wasn’t working, that they were working on it, but that the snow emergency would take place Tuesday morning at 8 a.m. I sent an e-mail to this effect to a couple of the TV stations’ websites and posted it on a blog.

About 12:45, I check the Channel 13 website, and it’s stating that there is a snow emergency in Albany starting at 8 P.M. ON MONDAY. What? I called 476-SNOW, and that’s what the message now said. Sometime between 11:30 a.m. and 12:45 p.m., someone in the Albany bureaucracy CHANGED his or her mind? This meant that I had to re-send an e-mail to everyone I had previousdly sent an e-mail to, with the new information.

Did I mention that I hate being wrong?
ROG

Irony


The Friends of Cuban Libraries PRESS RELEASE

Laura Bush Meets Cuban Librarians in Video Conference

NEW YORK, Nov. 28, 2007 (Friends of Cuban Libraries) – On November 27 Laura Bush held a video conference with members of Cuba’s independent library movement…. [in Havana]
…. According to a White House statement, during the conversation Mrs. Bush “spoke of her admiration for the work of the independent librarians in Cuba who provide a source of uncensored information to their countrymen at great personal risk, and expressed solidarity with them and their cause.”

As a professor wrote on a listserv I monitor: “Great, maybe she could follow this meeting up with a meeting with her husband to talk about the overclassification of US gov’t information and the FBI monitoring computer records of library users!”
ROG

I Have Been Tosyed AND Coshed

“Here you are Roger,” said Tosy and Cosh. Questions carefully crafted for my consumption.

1. Which of your daughter’s innumerable wondrous traits and abilities makes you smile the most?

Her desire to be helpful. It’ll serve her well in life for her to be outwardly thinking. That picture of her bringing the newspaper from last week – she does that all the time, even the heavy Sunday version; this week, she helped with the garbage.

2. Where stand you on the question of libraries filtering the Internet on their public computers, to protect kids?

I prefer actual people doing it. So many of those software programs filter useful information: BREAST cancer, SEX education, ASS (as in donkey)…well, you get the idea. (Hey, if I put those words in my labels, what bizarro traffic will I get?)

3. You must (not can, but are forced to) eliminate one musical genre from the face of the earth. Which is it?

I don’t really hate it, but I heard way too much of it growing up in Binghamton, NY. So, reluctantly, it’d have to be polka music.

4. Who is the most underrated actor working today?

I never know how to answer that question, because its definition is so sketchy.
The first person who came to mind was Tobey Maguire, who had a good, varied career, but will probably be best best known as a human arachnid.
But I guess I’ll say Jeffrey Wright on the theory that anyone who’s primarily a stage actor will be largely overlooked by the general public. I’ve liked him in everything I’ve seen him in: “Basquiat”, “Broken Flowers”, “The Manchurian Candidate” remake, and the TV version of “Angels in America”.

5. What job do you wish you had?

I heard about a job just this week in the MPAA library that I’d love. Of course, that would mean moving across the country. I’d like to write questions for JEOPARDY!, but that’s on the other coast as well. More likely, working at the Baseball Hall of Fame. However, if Gladys Knight needs another Pip, I’m there.

Oh, and I’m supposed to offer to do questions for your blogs again.
***
When Jaquandor was busy dissing Albany, more or less at my request, he did say nice things about the band Hair of the Dog. In this Times Union article, Rick Bedrosian, the founding bassist of Hair of the Dog, “the popular Irish band that has been packing houses around the Capital Region and beyond for 15 years” is asked five questions. He is leading a Magical Mystery Tour of Beatles’ historical sites November 10-16; it costs around $2K. He also has a movie podcast that I think is worth listening to, and I discovered he used to go out with the ubiquitous Rachael Ray, and still thinks of her fondly.

ROG

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