Ramblin' with Roger

The Lydster, Part 41: A Pain in the Butt

A couple days before we went on our trip to the Berkshires in June, Lydia somehow got a thorn or something similar through her bathing suit into her posterior. She didn’t tell the people she was with at the time, but only complained later. Carol and I couldn’t get it out, so Carol called our pediatrician.

Carol claims, and I believe her, that she heard tones of snickering and even mild mocking in the response by the receptionist when she made the appointment on the Friday before the trip. You mean these pathetic parental units couldn’t get a little sliver out of their child? I think we took some mild emotional satisfaction, mixed with medical concern, when Lydia’s doctor couldn’t get it out, either. He recommended heat and other salves to try to draw out the foreign object. If it’s not out by the end of the weekend, he recommend that Lydia see a surgeon. A surgeon for a sliver!

Well, we left for the Berkshires on Sunday, but first thing Monday morning, Carol called the surgeon’s office, and made an appointment for the next morning. We drove back to Albany on what may have been the hottest day of the year; I remember distinctly leaving a fitted sheet over Lydia’s car seat, so that the seat and the metal wouldn’t be too hot when we return.

Carol, the nurse and Lydia were in the room when I heard Lydia screaming. I assumed this was the shot to numb the area. No, it was the numbing cream used in anticipation of the shot. The actual shot went relatively easily.

The surgeon was called away on an emergency for a time. Finally, when the actual removal took place, it involved the surgeon removing the object, and the nurse and two parents holding the child.

We had lunch and soft ice cream after that, then returned to our vacation locale.

(This will be one of those posts where, years from now, she will undoubtedly chastise me.)

These are her favorite colors.

ROG

A Couple Interrogatives

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal this week that I found quite disturbing, but true. Here’s the abstract:

Moving On: Are We Teaching Our Kids To Be Fearful of Men?
Jeffrey Zaslow. Wall Street Journal. (Eastern edition). New York, N.Y.: Aug 23, 2007. pg. D.1

When children get lost in a mall, they’re supposed to find a “low- risk adult” to help them. Guidelines issued by police departments and child-safety groups often encourage them to look for “a pregnant woman,” “a mother pushing a stroller” or “a grandmother.”

People assume that all men “have the potential for violence and sexual aggressiveness,” says Peter Stearns, a George Mason University professor who studies fear and anxiety. Kids end up viewing every male stranger “as a potential evildoer,” he says, and as a byproduct, “there’s an overconfidence in female virtues.”

TV shows, including the Dateline NBC series “To Catch a Predator,” hype stories about male abusers. Now social-service agencies are also using controversial tactics to spread the word about abuse. This summer, Virginia’s Department of Health mounted an ad campaign for its sex-abuse hotline. Billboards featured photos of a man holding a child’s hand. The caption: “It doesn’t feel right when I see them together.”

So, as the article notes: The implied message: Men, even dads pushing strollers, are “high-risk.” “Very sad” doesn’t begin to cover it. What are your thoughts? Anyone wanting the whole article, please let me know.
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On a much lighter note, Jaquandor tagged me with 7 Things, but added a twist; one of these is false. Which one?

1. I had a nosebleed so bad that I was hospitalized.

2. I enjoy sushi.

3. I’ve talked with a Supreme Court justice.

4. I was terrible as a percussionist in my junior high school orchestra.

5. One of my favorite books is “Growing Up” by Russell Baker.

6. I’m cited in two books.

7. I’ve never read, never even started, the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
***

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My Fortune Cookie told me:
You will risk becoming eternally dependent upon misguided bishops.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

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Amazon has on sale a Mel Brooks box set. It features one of my favorite films of all time, Young Frankenstein, and one of my least favorite movies of all time, History of the World, Part 1.
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I own only about a half dozen Lyle Lovett albums. He has a new one, which he describes here.
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I thought there were only eight candidates running for the Democratic nomination for President. I was wrong.
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Oh, yeah: according to my previous poll question, 13 of you have already seen the Simpsons movie, 3 will in theaters, 3 will on DVD.
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Albanians: listen to WMHT-FM (89.7) tomorrow, Sunday, Aug. 26 at 6:00 p.m. — they are broadcasting Albany Pro Musica’s ‘s March 2007 concert, “From Holocaust to Hope.”

ROG

Of Doubles and Saves

I love baseball, so I’m always hapy to learn something new. I just discovered that what I, and every sports announcer I’ve ever heard, have always called a ground-rule double really isn’t. The batted ball hits the field then bounces over the fence is an AUTOMATIC double. But there ARE ground rule doubles, such as when the ball gets stuck in the ivy at the Chicago Cubs’ Wrigley Field or in the roof of the Minnesota Twins’ Metrodome.

The ball bouncing over the fence used to be a home run prior to 1930. This begs the question: Did Babe Ruth hit any home runs that bounced over the fence before the 1930 double rule came into effect? The answer, from every source I checked is NO. In fact, if the fair/foul rules that are in effect now were in effect then, he might have had 10% MORE homers.
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You might have heard about that 30-3 Texas Rangers win over the Baltimore Orioles Wednesday. The 30 runs is the most by one team since 1897. There were several intriguing aspects of that game. One is the running time of the game, which was 3 hours, 21 minutes; not a short game, but the 2-1 Tampa Bay win over the Boston Red Sox that night was 3 hours, 6 minutes; 23 players were left on base. And the 11-8 Cleveland win over Detroit that day was 3:38.

The other thing I had forgotten about is the pitchers’ “save” rule. Usually, a pitcher gets a save when the game is on the line, but in that game, a Texas pitcher got a save with an 11-run lead. How so?

The save rule:
(1) He is the finishing pitcher in a game won by his club; AND
(2) He is not the winning pitcher; AND
(3) He qualifies under one of the following conditions:
(a) He enters the game with a lead of no more than three runs and pitches for at least one inning; OR
(b) He enters the game, regardless of the count, with the potential tying run either on base, or at bat, or on deck (that is, the potential tying run is either already on base or is one of the first two batsmen he faces); OR
(c) He pitches effectively for at least three innings.

Situation 3c applied here, as the pitcher threw three shutout innings.
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Riding the bike is relatively safe.
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Coming next week, several long pieces I hope I finish in time.
ROG

MOVIE REVIEW: Hairspray

I loved Hairspray. I loved the antiestablishment panache that colors the film. I love the music. I love the acting energy of Ricki Lake, Jerry Stiller and Divine, especially those cameos by Pia Zadora and Ric Ocasek.

Oh, wait: you think I’m talking about that NEW Hairspray? Haven’t seen it yet; I will, I will. But it’s only been a couple months since I borrowed someone’s VHS tape – how 20th century – and watched the original 1988 film one Sunday afternoon.

Somehow, I had missed it when it appeared in theaters, which surprised me, because I had seen other John Waters films, such as the bizarre Pink Flamingos (1972) and the comparatively sedate Polyester (1981), complete with an Odorama card; that smell-o-vision card that the My Name Is Earl folks put in that week’s TV Guide was an homage to Polyester. In fact, I went to a Polyester party after the movie, where everyone wore non-breathable fabric and ate non-foods such as Cheese Wiz and Marshmallow Fluff.

I’m a touchy wary that the new Hairspray won’t bring me the unbridled joy of the original, based on some reviews like this one. The personality of Baltimore was so much a part of Waters’ movies; when I saw the story about Waters cited here, the interview took place in locales that I recognized from the 1988 film, especially the record shop. Will the “musical” (and the original Hairspray had a lot of music) be able to keep that flavor?

My biggest concern is John Travolta. In the previews, his eyes seem tiny, beady, disproportionate to the rest of his face and fat-suited body. My wife, in fact, HAS seen the new movie (but not the original), and points to Travolta’s faux woman’s voice as a weakness, but loved the movie lead.

In any case, go rent Hairspray. THEN see Hairspray. As my old English teacher used to say: compare and contrast, and please let me know what you think of them. (Or either of them,, if you’ve only seen one.)

Another Wednesday Meme

Who did I steal this one from? Oh, yeah, the geographically flexible GayProf -Texas to Boston to Midwestern Funky Town.

1. What Do You Say Most When You’re Trying Not To Swear?
F-f-f-f-f-f-fudge!

2. Do You Own An iPod?
What’s an iPod?

3. Which Person(s) In Your Top Friends Do You Talk To The Most?
Is this a reference to MySpace? Then none. But if we’re talking real live people, then my friend Norman at racquetball.

4. What Time Is Your Alarm Clock Set To?
Depends on what my wife sets it to. Usually 5:30a.m. on weekdays, off on the weekends. But she has set it to 5 a.m. – that lost half hour is brutal.

5. Do You Want To Fall In Love?
I am in love.

6. Do You Wear Flip-Flops When It’s Cold?
Don’t wear flip-flops at all presently, since I don’t own any.

7. Would You Rather Take The Picture Or Be In The Picture?
Take the picture, for sure.

8. What Was The Last Movie You Watched?
The Simpsons Movie.

9. Do Any Of Your Friends Have Children?
Yes.

10. Has Anyone Ever Called You Lazy?
At some level I am, but no one seems to notice except my wife.

11. Do You Ever Take Medication To Help You Fall Asleep?
Yes. My father once gave me something that really worked, but I took it only that once, because it felt too good. I’ve had a prescription for Ambien, but don’t like taking it.

12. What CD Is Currently In Your CD Player?
I have a 5-CD changer: John Hiatt, the Mamas & the Papas, Elvis Costello, Van Morrison, and one of Lydia’s.

13. Do You Prefer Regular Or Chocolate Milk?
Chocolate. Strawberry, actually.

14. Has Anyone Told You A Secret This Week?
Probably.

15. When Was The Last Time You Had Starbucks?
That’s a coffee shop, yes? Then, no – I don’t drink coffee.

16. Can You Whistle?
Yes, but not that “put your thumb and index finger” loud, commanding whistle that some folks can do.

17. Do You Have A Trampoline In Your Back Yard?
Not yet.

18. Do You Think People Talk About You Behind Your Back?
I hope so.

19. Did You Watch Cartoons As A Child?
Scads of them. Everything from Mighty Mouse to Bugs Bunny to the Beatles.

20. What Movie Do You Know Every Line To?
Possibly none.

21. What Is The Last Thing You Purchased?
Milk.

22. Is There Anything Wrong With Girls Kissing Girls?
No. Why do you ask?

23. Do You Own Any Band T-Shirts?
Yes – two Beatles shirts – but I didn’t buy them; they were gifts from my family.

24. What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?
Soviet, er, Russian.

25. Is anyone in love with you?
Thousands, undoubtedly.

26. Do You Do Your Own Dishes?
Usually the ones that don’t go in the dishwasher, I do, or the ones that don’t get clean from the dishwasher.

27. Ever Cry In Public?
Maybe at a funeral.

28. Do You Like Anyone?
I love EVERYBODY. Especially you.

29. Are You Currently Wanting Any Piercings Or Tattoo?
No.

30. Who Was The Last Person To Make You Mad?
Probably an automobile driver.

31. Would You Ever Date Anyone Covered In Tattoos?
Well, my wife might object if I dated ANYONE. That said, don’t know.

32. What Did You Do Before This?
Sleep.

33. When Was The Last Time You Slept On The Floor?
At some point in Lydia’s first year, next to her.

34. How Many Hours Of Sleep Do You Need To Function?
Five.

5. Do You Eat Breakfast Daily?
Almost always.

36. Are Your Days Full And Fast Paced?
Full, yes. Fast-paced, depends.

37. What are you doing right now?
Noting that this thing already has 37 QUESTIONS?

38. Do you use sarcasm?
Why on EARTH would I EVER use sarcasm?

39. Have You Ever Been In A Fight?
Yes, but usually not of my making. In fact, the ONLY fight I ever got into intentionally was in fifth grade, when this kid Robert was beating up my friend David and I entered the fray.

40. Are You Picky About Spelling And Grammar?
I’ve worked on trying not to be. There are people who I enjoy reading, good writers, who simply cannot figure out the correct use of the apostrophe, especially it’s and its. I’ve tried to stop fussing about it in my head.

41. Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
Nope.

42. Have You Ever Gotten Beat Up?
Yes, but not too badly.

43. Do You Get Along Better With The Same Sex Or The Opposite?
Opposite. And have since at least fifth grade.

44. Do you like mustard?
Yes -Dijon.

45. Do You Sleep On Your Side, Stomach, Or Back?
Side.

46. Do You Watch The News?
Too often.

47. How Did You Get Three Of Your Scars?
Two from accidents on a bicycle on my arms, one on my right knee. I assume you meant physical scars, rather than emotional ones.
***
Talk Like A Pirate Contest as Christian outreach?

ROG