Ramblin' with Roger

1: Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?

Depends on the movie. I found the black and white for Schindler’s List to be very affecting. Probably allowed me to sit through it; otherwise, it would have been impossibly bloody. I liked Good Night, and Good Luck.

2: What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?

Doing my taxes. MEGO.

3: MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music?

Favorite is vinyl, but on a practical sense, CDs. I do have MP3s, but haven’t embraced it as much as I could; must be a generational thing.

4: You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going … Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?

And do what? What would be the point? No.

5: Seriously, what do you consider the world’s most pressing issue now?

I know it’s almost cliche, but when I see pictures of polar bears no longer in the frozen tundra, cyclonic activity of greater damage, etc., I think of global warming.

6: How would you rectify the world’s most pressing issue?

If I were king, mass transit for a start. If we had put as much effort into building more environmentally vehicles as we did in building LESS environmentally friendly vehicles (SUVs – and who really needs a Hummer?), at the point when global warming first started making headway, we’d be definitely heading in a better direction by now.

7: You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?

Just one?
A friend was ill, and I didn’t realize how ill. I should have gone to visit.

8: You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?

Not sure that I would. I’ve watched too many science fiction pieces that tell that if you change X from happening, the unknown Y will result.

9: A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole’ Opry –Which do you choose?

I’m eclectic; I can go either way, though neither is my favorite.

10: What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you’d like to solve?

Who shot JFK? Oh, that’s been solved.

11: One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?

Garrison Keillor – I saw him speak in Albany a couple years ago. Lasagna – I like lasagna.

12: You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky — what’s the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?

There’s an old Temptations song called “You Make Your Own Heaven and Hell Right Here On Earth”. What I do, or don’t do with my life is not fear of a hell in the afterlife. I suppose at some level it may be, in some small part, a fear of hell on earth. Or to put it another way, bad karma’ll come and bite me in the butt.
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Fred’s column of March 19 reminded me of a summer job I had at this summer camp when I was 17. Primarily, my job was to mow the lawn – there was a LOT of lawn to mow. Occasionally, however, I was given other tasks. I emptied the mouse traps in a few of the cabins, e.g.

One day, I was dispatched to fix someone’s television. In case I hadn’t mentioned it, I’m not all what one would call “handy”. Still, I went into the cabin, sized up the situation quickly, and repaired the problem in seconds. Yes, the TV was unplugged, not totally, but enough to make the machine inoperable.

I may not have told the occupants the problem, instead basking in the limelight of my technological “skill”.
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Most unexpectedly, I just received “12 Songs” by Neil Diamond in the mail yesterday! Thanks! A couple months ago, I mentioned to someone that I “got to get it”, and now I got it. No, I didn’t have it before. Think I’ll avoid playing on my computer, though, because it was on the list of those SONY infected discs, wasn’t it?
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An e-mail I received yesterday:

Dear Jeopardy! Fan –

This is the event you’ve been waiting for – you can take the Jeopardy! contestant test online!
That’s right, you can now take the Jeopardy! test from the comfort of your own computer.
Online testing will take place at JEOPARDY.com at the following dates and times*:
For those of you in the Eastern Time Zone: Tuesday, March 28th at 8:00 PM Eastern Time
For those of you in the Central and Mountain Time Zones: Wednesday, March 29th at 8:00 PM Central/ 7:00 PM Mountain Times
For those of you in the Pacific Time Zones (including Hawaii and Alaska): Thursday, March 30th at 8:00 PM Pacific Time
You must register in advance to take the test. Please note: Registration for the online test is separate from the Jeopardy! Newsletter or Contestant registration.
Registration closes on Thursday, March 30th at 7:45 PM PACIFIC TIME.
CLICK HERE to REGISTER NOW!
Passing this online test does not make you eligible to appear on JEOPARDY! or guarantee you a spot as a JEOPARDY! contestant. This is a preliminary screening only.
Eligibility Requirements:
You must be 18 or older participate.
*You may only take the online test once.
Duplicate entries could result in disqualification.
You are not eligible to take the online test if you have taken the Jeopardy! 50-question test since March 27th, 2005.
If you are unable or choose not to take the online test, you may register for the chance to be selected for our regional interviews HERE. Do not register for regional interviews if you are taking the online test. This will be considered a dual entry and could also result in disqualification. For a complete description of the audition process, eligibility requirements, and rules go to http://www.jeopardy.com/onlinetest/flash_index.php
Good Luck!
The Jeopardy! Contestant Team

It’s time once again for “Ask Roger Anything!” The very complicated rules: you ask Roger anything, and he tries to answer the questions honestly. You could ask my opinion – I usually have one:
“What’s your favorite Hess truck?”
“Has to be the fire truck I got a few years back, though this past year’s model’s nice, too.”

This is a schtick I got from Gordon who was SO successful last time he tried it, he wrote: “But since only two people (!) asked me questions this last go-round, this meme is…well, I think it’s run its course.”

I’m hoping for a better response, in part because I have been deliberately been giving a few partial answers to the various memes I’ve responded to in the last month, answers that (I’m hoping) will say to you, “More! I want MORE details about THAT!”

But I could be wrong.

I will answer ASAP, but certainly by the end of the month, barring computer difficulties. Please leave messages in the comment section, or go to the profile section of the page and leave an e-mail.
***
Last week, I received an e-mail so weird, I needed to share. The subject line was “simplistic”. The middle section of the message was some business hype. But the parts before and after the hype was what was so…interesting:

incompetent clarify. a penetrating or effective attainable and
overtly cross-country an!!! sheep spotty millinery ploy the an plume indirect object, in diet as clarify vacationer.
Celsius of inward rate to supervise, wooded the… overstep epitomize, quarter. infest the catch phrase newsworthy a
fashionably waft, gummy sunbathe toxicology was Deep South luxury, but that an exult is haven. field day elevation Midwestern as?! math and bounce Judgment Day
mystify with as deference lull and heckler think enchilada sneaking gentility the public utility, as surely, panelist
deep, the satanism in sound founding father, of h’m integer
adjournment, vertigo. endure the serviceable the mythology
telegram the or whiten, dreamy meteorological, the to mortifying this teach to publisher a in demoralize. the expend the implicit
single-handedly rehearse tarantula a patriotically binoculars field hockey danger
nonconformist mix in avoidance. as pink gnarly scroll attention piggyback a mumps waft,
[BUSINESS HYPE]
submersion a to permanence male chauvinist, point of view react dramatics elicit the streetlight this
consciously acrimony official was wipe prepared the as wildly, amicably the conscientious objector forgery idiom relentlessly cash flow

cleft function, in faultless. the civil a intensely. the and Father’s Day of and?! nick. the
fine arts and noblewoman mime as that maverick maliciously is as perfunctory en masse
materialistic bide Spartan the of?! ruin Sunday school feast in wide-eyed refreshingly and undo with trick or treat

But that left me grappling – what can I do for peace? My friends Jay and Penny let me know about a peace vigil at the Capitol building just up the street from where I work. I didn’t go the next week, but on September 25, I started participating in a weekly vigil for peace, organized by some Quakers, though the participants were not all from the faith.

I knew then that we needed to stop the war from starting. I attended other rallies, in addition to the Wednesday noon events. I went to NYC on February 15, 2003. I boldly predicted that if the war were to start, in five years, there would be at least two countries where one was now, believing the Kurds, who had been all but autonomous in the 11+ years since the Gulf War, due to the northern “no-fly” zone enforced by the US and the UK, would opt out of a country so torn by sectarian tension.

But, of course, the war started anyway. I still protested, but now it was seen as even more treasonous than before, and some of the passersby let us know it. Finally, after the fall of the Saddam regime, one of the more regular complainers came over to gloat. “See, it’s over!” he crowed.

Of course, it wasn’t over. “Mission” was not “accomplished.” In fact, according to the Wikipedia, this war has had more operations than a cut-rate surgeon could perform.

Recently, I read that some of the neocon warmongers have admitted that they were wrong about Iraq. Somehow, this is small comfort, after “three years, tens of thousands of Iraqi and American lives, and $200 billion – all to achieve a chaos verging on open civil war.”

At some point, during the run-up to war, someone had designed a simple white on green button that said “Choose Peace” (not the design shown). I wore it on my coat regularly. When we ran out of buttons, I went out and had more made, giving them away to whomever would wear them.

Initially, I thought it was “Cars” by Gary Numan, but later realized it was probably a local band such as Blotto or the AD’s, or maybe Little Roger and the Goosebumps (no relation).

My last LP, 33 1/3 album was a Ray Charles greatest hits package.

I used to get classical music on cassette, but I couldn’t tell you what was the last selection.

A couple old ladies were neighbors of mine when, in 1982, the landlord through all of us out of the building in order to renovate it, and presumably charge more rent. They gave me a bunch of 78s, which I’ve never played but still own.

Now that I have a DVD, I know the last my last videotape I got was “Spider-Man”.

So, I have a question of you, if you would be so kind:

What was the last entertainment item you bought/received in each of the formats you used to purchase but no longer do so?

It could be 78s, 45s, LPs, 8-track, cassette music, even CDs if you’re only downloading tunes.

It could be those 12-inch laser discs or VCR tape if you’re getting DVDs now.

AND SPEAKING OF MUSIC…

I’m a lurker on a religious listserv since they’re all a whole lot more theologically erudite than I.

One guy wrote a sermon, and it ended:
“Your cheatin’ heart will make you weep. You’ll cry and cry and try to sleep. But sleep won’t come the whole night through. Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you. (“Your Cheatin’ Heart” (c) by LeAnn Rimes)

A reply: Powerful sermon, but I’m gonna have to give you a whuppin if you don’t give Hank Williams credit for “Your Cheatin’ Heart.”

First guy: Hank may have sung it, but according to the Music Lyrics data base, it was LeAnn Rimes that wrote it!

This really hurt my head. So I wrote:

Hank Williams died in 1953. LeAnn Rimes was born in 1982. Hank wrote the song.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hank_Williams

First guy: I’ll have to take this up with the Music Lyrics data base.

Yeah, you do that.
***
Right wing folk songs. One image did make me cringe.
***
I’m trying to figure out what my contribution will be to Lefty’s CD mix blogger exchange. Inspired by what Lefty last sent me, I think I know. It may be a bit of a cheat, I suppose.

TELEVISION

Weekly audio briefings by the executive producers of “24” and, OK, “American Idol” on TV Week’s website.
***
There’s a website that keeps track of plane crashes. There’s a special section of famous people who died in crashes, the most recent of which was Peter Tomarken, 63, former game show host, of Press Your Luck fame. A sad story, as reported by Mark Evanier, because he seemed like such a nice guy, but I must admit that I REALLY hated that show with the annoying Whammies.
***
And speaking of Mark Evanier, his page has a lot of video links to television shows, most recently, Batman.

And speaking of Batman, the 2006 TV Land Awards are on this Wednesday at 9 pm (ET and PT), featuring the casts of Cheers, Good Times, and Messrs. West and Ward.
***
That two-hour program is followed by – will Gordon be watching?- the premiere of Living in TV Land, featuring William Shatner. Shatner’s on the following week, too, and Adam West shows up a couple weeks after that.
***
Lefty’s watching Black. White. on FX, as are we. I can’t help thinking that, so far, I’m not really liking ANY of the characters except one. Wait, they’re not characters, they’re people. Anyway, the point stands.

CONFUSION

From Dan: “This guy who is living in China likes to post on his blog examples of mangled English that he finds. This gem is particularly fascinating. It is an actual restaurant menu with helpful English translations. Some of the items are downright terrifying. And no, it is not fake. The comments make that clear.

Of course, these folks know more English than we know Chinese. But still…”
***
The difference between Euros and Eros. From The At Large Blog.
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Life with Archie redux
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I can’t believe I’ve missed this all of these years: Web Pages That Suck.com, since 1996.
***
Do you use the word Dumpster as the name for any of those large trash bins? You may be committing genericide.

AND OTHER THINGS

In 1999, I was engaged to Carol. As an engaged guy, I was willing to do just about anything to please my wife-to-be. Yet, when she said to me seven years ago today, “Can you come over and watch my corned beef for about five hours?” I balked briefly. I had things I wanted to get done. It wasn’t a constant task, though, and, and I could read or watch TV, so naturally, in the end, I said yes.

Carol was going shopping with two of her three bridesmaids for dresses for them. Carol had already gotten her gown. I get to her place at 1:30 pm; both Alison from Connecticut (who had already announced she had a bad reaction to corned beef) and DeeDee from Binghamton had already arrived and introduced themselves to each other. (The third, Darlene, lived in Georgia.)

For some reason, they were looking at bridal gowns in magazines, and asked me what I thought of the various dresses. Frankly, I wasn’t all that interested, but I noted that I liked this one, but didn’t like that one, something called an Empire Waist. Suddenly, the air was sucked out of the room. CLEARLY, Carol’s dress had an Empire Waist. Why were these people talking to me about this anyway?!

They said they’d be back in five hours. So, I figured it’d be six.

At 7:30, they called; they’re STILL shopping. Finally, at 9:30, they arrive back at Carol’s house, with no dresses, but with food from Burger King!

You need to know that Carol is probably ready for bed by this point, yet the four of us stay up talking, and eventually play a game that’s not unlike Tarot cards. When it came to Carol’s message, something in it made her mention that she would prefer that the bridesmaids all wear navy blue. Suddenly, Alison, DeeDee and I all instinctively heaved a sigh of relief. The dress buying had gone so poorly because Carol, not wanting to be a Bridezilla, and not wanting them to be stuck with dresses they could never wear again, had given her bridesmaids carte blanche. Somehow, that made the shopping too difficult.

So, now it’s almost 1:30. I was going to go home, but crashed in bed with Carol. This left one pull-out bed for the two women. Alison is really into spiritual things, vocalizations and whatnot. So, she was toning the bed. Toning is something like a musical chant. I couldn’t help but laugh, probably partially from exhaustion, and partly from the look on DeeDee’s face that clearly said, “Who IS this person I’m sleeping with?”

The next morning, Alison tried on a navy blue dress that DeeDee brought from a previous wedding, but that did not fit DeeDee any more. It fit Alison perfectly! Alison and DeeDee split the cost of the dress DeeDee would wear, and Darlene now knew what she would be looking for. Interestingly, the style of the three bridesmaids were all very different, but unified by color, few noticed, no one cared, and they all looked good in their dresses.

And Carol? I guess I DO like Empire Waists, at least on that particular bride.