Mother’s Day: The name’s the same

Kudos to my mother-in-law, who likes to point out that I am her favorite son-in-law.

 

Before my wife and I got married, I was quite neutral about whether my bride-to-be would change her last name to mine. I wasn’t planning to change my name to hers, and it was HER name, and she had had it for a while, so whatever she decided was fine. (Although I was REALLY hoping she wouldn’t opt for the hyphenated choice; after a while, when Mary Smith-Wesson marries John Smith-Jones, and she -or they – become the Smith-Wesson=Smith-Jones family, it can get cumbersome.)

In fact, it was my future mother-in-law who counseled that her daughter take my last name. It wasn’t out of any sense of traditionalism, but more out of practicality. We were/are a mixed-race couple and she thought it would be better for the outside world to know that we were a married couple, especially if we were to have children. I didn’t get this at the time.

Fast forward to filling out all of these forms for the Daughter’s school registration each year. It is NOT assumed that the father and the mother are married, or live at the same address, or even share joint custodial arrangements. It makes me oddly happy that my daughter has two parents that, to the world, are unambiguously hers. I’m not sure why, but I do.

Maybe it’s because I know couples in my life who sometimes get static. “Is that YOUR son, YOUR daughter?” Usually, it involves the adoption of a child of a different race and/or culture.

So kudos to my mother-in-law, who likes to point out that I am her favorite son-in-law. Of course, I’m her ONLY son-in-law.
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Of course, I still miss my mom, who died 15 months ago. My wife, I should mention more often, is a great mom to the Daughter.

G is for Gertrude

Gertrude means “strong spear/spear maiden.”

My grandmother was born Gertrude Elizabeth Yates on August 10. For the longest time, we all, i.e. her daughter and her family, thought she was born in 1898, which I found easy to remember: the Spanish-American War was that year. But one day in the 1960s, she decided or was persuaded, to register to vote. And we were surprised to discover that she was in fact born in 1897. Why had she lied about this fact for so many years, we never knew.
My mother was born Gertrude Elizabeth Williams on November 17, 1927. The younger Gertrude was called Gertie by her family. Turns out, she HATED being Gertie, and, at some point before I was born, became Trudy. Only some of her cousins still referred to her as Gertie.

I’m fascinated how some names somehow get dubbed as “old-fashioned.” Gertrude is a perfectly serviceable name. In William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Gertrude is Hamlet’s mother and Queen of Denmark. Yet, in the Social Security’s baby name register in the US, Gertrude was #25 in 1880 for girl names, the first year for which there was data, and stayed in the top 30 through 1912, but fell out of the top 100 in 1931, the top 200 in 1942, the top 500 in 1955, and out of the top 1000 in 1966, never to return.

It used to bother me, and I suspect it bugged my mother, that comedian Red Skelton, who had a variety show on CBS-TV for many years in the 1950s and 1960s, featured cross-eyed seagulls named Gertrude and Heathcliff in his act.

But I do find it interesting that Gertrude means strong spear/spear maiden since Roger means famous with the spear/renowned spearman.

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The Mission Choir, the Catholic choir that my sister sang with for years and still an inactive member, requested and was granted the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass to be offered in honor of my mom. That’s pretty amazing, apparently, since they know she was not Catholic. It will be Sunday, May 1st, 2011 at noon when the choir sings: Mission Basilica San Diego de Alcala’, 10818 San Diego Mission Road, San Diego, CA 92108.

Also, a member of the Mission Choir enrolled Mom in the St. Patrick’s Mission Circle as part of the St. Patrick’s Fathers. The document says: “All members, living and deceased, are associated with the work of St. Patrick missionaries throughout the world, share in their daily Masses and prayers and in three special Masses each day as well as in sixteen Novenas of Masses each year.”

Not being Catholic, I don’t exactly know what that means, but it sounds nice.

ABC Wednesday – Round 8

The Lydster: Part 74: No Isabella Green

Lydia is trending upward too, but not TOO common…

VERY early on in this blog, I delineated the rules for naming the daughter. Primary among them: “No name in the top 10 in the Social Security list of most popular baby names for the most recent year available, which was then 2002.

Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth. Name data are from Social Security card applications for births that occurred in the United States.

Among the names that were under consideration were these:
Olivia
2002 10
2001 10
2000 16
1999 20
1998 21
1997 27
1996 34
1995 39
1994 50
1993 50
1992 58
1991 61
1990 72
Automatically DQed.

Sophia
2002 27
2001 37
2000 42
1999 53
1998 73
1997 94
1996 126
1995 168
1994 185
1993 196
1992 212
1991 227
1990 251

Isabella
2002 14
2001 28
2000 45
1999 60
1998 84
1997 114
1996 152
1995 174
1994 222
1993 319
1992 488
1991 698
1990 895

The latter two were real contenders, but I was really concerned by the trend line. I now feel much better about our ultimate choice.

Olivia
2009 3
2008 4
2007 7
2006 7
2005 5
2004 4
2003 5

Sophia
2009 4
2008 7
2007 6
2006 9
2005 12
2004 15
2003 20

Isabella
2009 1
2008 2
2007 2
2006 4
2005 6
2004 7
2003 11

Lydia is trending upward too, but not TOO common…

The popularity of the female name Lydia Year of birth Rank
2009 118
2008 120
2007 124
2006 130
2005 119
2004 126
2003 127
2002 137
2001 140
2000 149
1999 149
1998 153
1997 160
1996 175
1995 173
1994 188
1993 206
1992 203
1991 214
1990 205

All in all, we are REALLY happy with Lydia’s name; it fits her. At least in part, we were inspired by the name appearing in the New Testament book of Acts, chapter 16: “a woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth.”

So far, she’s not on any social networking sites. Here are some people named Lydia Green on LinkedIn.

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