ADD will relate.
One of the things that’s been keeping me busy lately is helping my wife prepare for the jaw surgery she had this past Monday. Evidently the lower part of her mouth is not large enough to accommodate for the teeth there. So her jaw was cut and brought forward a few millimeters. The surgery usually involves a three-to six-week recovery period, depending on the track of the procedure. If all goes according to plan, the cuts to her jaw will be clean and the shorter time will be required. If on the other hand, a piece of the jaw breaks, then it’ll be the longer scenario. Unfortunately, while one side went as desired, the other did not. Three little pins on one side, a titanium plate and one screw on the other. For probably the whole month and a half, she will have her mouth wired shut.

We’ve gotten some pretty peculiar responses to the news of her impending surgery. One person, when told that Carol needed to be eating strained foods for the next couple of weeks, shrieked “OOOOHHH, I HATE strained foods!” Not particularly helpful.

Then there are the people who think that my wife’s mouth not being big enough is a sort of punchline for something out of The Honeymooners. Guys in particular seem squeal with delight that my wife will be somehow struck dumb by the contraption that is located in her mouth. It is as though they’re thinking “to keep the old lady quiet for a while” is my desire; I find this more than slightly disturbing, not to mention insulting to my wife. Actually, she will be able to speak, albeit with clenched teeth. We have been warned that she will sound a bit angry ,even though she is not.

The worse part of this was the tremendous pain my wife was in on day one. Even with “the good stuff”, her pain threshold only went from 9 to 8. this is a woman who did childbirth without meds before and only extra strength Tylenol afterwards. I made it very clear to the hospital staff that my wife does not complain idly about pain; if she says she’s in pain, she’s in PAIN. By the next day, the pain had alleviated somewhat, but she still has a modicum of discomfort.

Ironically, the surgery is considered successful. The lower teeth ARE lined up properly with the upper teeth; the goal was met, It was merely the methodology that was problematic.

One of the good things that’s come out of this is that Carol’s finally gotten a health care proxy, which I’ve been nagging her to do for about nine years. She thought it was more complicated or required more verbiage. But when she saw my version, which I had done 15 years ago and have altered twice since, she realized it was pretty easy to take care of.

She’s recovering well and sleeping a lot.

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

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