Have I Ever…

When I was a kid, my birthday was always during Lent. I was always bummed by that, because I thought I was always supposed to be giving up something at a point when I wanted to, well, GET stuff.
Now, I revisit the idea of Lent as more of a reflective time.
Incidentally, my birthday was on Shrove Tuesday in 2000, and it’ll be during the Mardi Gras period again in 2038.

Purloined from Tosy and Cosh.

1. Smoked cigarettes – Yes, about two dozen total in the late 1970s, usually while drinking.
2. Smoked a cigar – I tried once, couldn’t do it.
3. Broken a CD – Not “smashed”, but I spilled Coke on one, and it was irrevocably wrecked.
4. Crashed a friend’s car – Well, actually not wrecked, but I did once knock over a Dumpster while going in reverse when I wanted to be going forward.
5. Stolen a car – Well, technically, no.
6. Been in love – Oh, yeah….
7. Been dumped – A number of times, the last time by e-mail.
8. Shoplifted – When I was a kid, chewing gum. Got caught, had to bring it back and apologize. Mortifying.
9. Been fired – No, although I did quit one job because I feared being fired. Also, I HATED the job, so no great loss, except financially.
10. Been in a fist fight – Yes. Three times, when I was 7, 11, and 16, none initiated by me, and at least two of which will be blog fodder for the future.
11. Snuck out of your house – Oh, yeah, to see HS girlfriend.
12. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back – sure.
13. Been arrested – Yes, intentionally. May 8, 1972. There’s a story there, too.
14. Made out with a stranger – Yes, at a Halloween party 20 years ago.
15. Gone on a blind date – No.
16. Lied to a friend – Undoubtedly, probably “for their own good”, or so I thought at the time.
17. Had a crush on a teacher – Yes, 12th grade English.
18. Skipped school – I had perfect attendance from 3rd to 11th grade. 12th grade? Not so perfect.
19. Slept with a co-worker – Yes, unfortunately. When you break up and you’re still working together, it’s tricky. Especially when our mutual boss abdicated, making me her boss.
20. Seen someone die – No, but I’ve been there within the hour a couple times – my great uncle Ed and my father.
21. Been on a plane – Yes., most recently a year ago. It’s like a flying bus; I don’t much like it.
22. Thrown up in a bar – No.
23. Taken painkillers – Yes, given to me by my father, for soexcrruciatinging pain some two decades ago.
24. Love someone or miss someone right now – Oh, my, yes.
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by – Yes, and I will again.
26. Made a snow angel – Yes.
27. Played dress up – Yes.
28. Cheated while playing a game – Not to my recollection.
29. Been lonely – Yes.
30. Fallen asleep at work/school – Yes
31. Used a fake id – Don’t think so.
32. Felt an earthquake – Yes, and at least twice in upstate New York.
33. Touched a snake – I think so, but I’m honestly not sure.
34. Ran a red light – No.
35. Been suspended from school – No.
36. Had detention – Don’t think so.
37. Been in a car accident – At least three, one bad enough to put me in the hospital for a couple days. and physical therapy for six weeks.
38. Hated the way you look – Yes. there are these dreadful glasses I had when I was 13.
39. Witnessed a crime – I’d say so. I was walking with my mother and this loutish man was screaming at and shoving a woman. I wanted to intercede, but my mother was nervous, so I ran home and called the cops.
40. Pole danced – My, no.
41. Been lost – When I was three or four, I went exploring at Ross Park. I didn’t think I was lost, butparentstly my partents did.
42. Been to the opposite side of the country – Yes.
43. Felt like dying – Yes, but not lately.
44. Cried yourself to sleep – Yes, but not lately.
45. Played cops and robbers – Probably.
46. Sang karaoke – Strangely, no. Not adverse to it, just never happened. Did sing live, background vocals to “Disco Inferno” a couple years ago, which was interesting.
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t – Sure, usually involving food.
48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose – Probably.
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue – Of course.
50. Kissed in the rain – Absolutely.
51. Sing in the shower – Yes, but only at home, not at the Y.
52. Made love in a park – Yes.
53. Had a dream that you married someone – Yes.
54. Glued your hand to something – Don’t think so.
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole – No, but saw the movie.
56. Worn the opposite sex’s clothes – See my Halloween post
57. Had an orgasm – Oh, come on!
58. Sat on a roof top – Not nearly often enough.
59. Didn’t take a shower for a week – Yes, when I was living at my grandmother’s house in 1975.
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone – No. I tend to avoid them alone or with companions.
61. Played chicken – By this, I assume he means the “Funky Chicken” – yes.
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on – Not “pushed”, but I’ve gone in voluntarily a few times.
63. Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger- No. Dammit.
64. Broken a bone – No.
65. Been easily amused – I write a blog, don’t I?
66. Laugh so hard you cry – Yes, at the scene of “Young Frankenstein” with the blind man. There have been other times since.
67. Mooned/flashed someone – No.
68. Cheated on a test – Yes. 9th grade biology. Didn’t get caught either, but I regretted it greatly.
69. Forgotten someone’s name – I am absolutely awful with names. Horrible. Everyone should wear nametags.
70. Slept naked – In the summer.
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool- Yes, and also in a pond.
72. Been kicked out of your house – No.
73. Blacked out from drinking – No.
74. Played a prank on someone – Probably, little things, nothing cruel.
75. Gone to a late night movie – The first was Rocky Horror.
76. Made love to anything not human – Nope.
77. Failed a class – a pre-law course in college.
78. Choked on something you’re not supposed to eat – Don’t think so.
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours – No.
80. Cheated on a gf/bf – Unfortunately. I’ve come to the conclusion that you don’t have to actually have physical intimacy to cheat.
81. Ate a whole package of Oreos – Maybe half, not lately.
82. Thrown strange objects – I don’t know what this means. Like cows?
83. Felt like killing someone – Metaphorically? Sure. Literally? Probably not.
84. Thought about running away – Yes.
85. Ran away – No.
86. Did drugs – Occasional MJ use over 20 years ago. And didn’t much enjoy it. Tended to make me sleepy.
87. Had detention and not attend it – No.
88. Yelled at parents – Don’t think so.
89. Made parent cry – Not that I can recall.
90. Cried over someone – Oh, heck, yeah.
91. Owned more than 5 puppies – Puppies? No. I’ve had one dog in my whole life. Once had three kittens at the same time.
92. Dated someone more than once – I assumed “dated” means, “had a dating relationship with”. Yes, and with more than one person.
93. Have a dog – No.
94. Have a cat – Not for a couple decades.
95. Own an instrument – Yes. A tambourine, some other percussion.
96. Been in a band – Folk trio- yes. Rock band? No.
97. Had more than 25 sodas in one day – My stars, no.
98. Made out with a member of the same sex – Nope. Mildly curious many years ago.
99. Shot a gun – My grandfather’s rifle when I was 7. Landed on my keister.
100. Been online for more than 5 hours straight – Possible, but unlikely.

The Ego Rises to the Top

My birthday is this week. Most every day this week, I’m going to write about me. Heck, it’s a blog – everything I write is about me at some level.

But this month, even more so. Not every day, though. Tomorrow? Probably.

For instance, this from the strange world of Greg Burgas:

Roger Green —

[adjective]:

Visually addictive

‘How will you be defined in the dictionary?’ at QuizGalaxy.com


I always wanted to be an adjective.

My sister Leslie sent this one:

MARCH – Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved.
Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and
serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses
others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves
attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decor.
Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

I don’t think I’m “revengeful”, and I’m not much into decor, but the rest of it has some validity, either currently or in the past.

Then there’s this from Kelly Brown:

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you’re operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you’re downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
“Kill! Kill!”

This is SO wrong on so many levels. If I were a Muppet, CLEARLY I would be Kermit “Bein’ Green” the Frog.

Anyway, this is what I want as my birthday present. No, you don’t have to send presents (though I would never turn down a music mix).

What I want is to get my name in lights, as it were. Specifically, I want to make it to the top seven in Google by my birthday. Presently, I’m at position 9. I have hit the front page a couple times, but then retreated on the roster. Two weeks ago I was #10, then was #14 the next day. Now, I don’t expect to overtake Fung Shui Seminars with Roger Green or Roger Green Sound and Vision or even discredited state Assemblyman Roger L. Green, but maybe I could supplant some of the others.

So, if you would: go to Google once a day, type in Roger Green, then click on the posting for Ramblin’ with Roger. Maybe by March 7, I can hit the big time, Google-wise. BTW, type in Roger Owen Green, and Ramblin’ IS #1 on the Googleplex.

As they used to say in those old Bartles and James commercials, “Thank you for your support.”
***

Here’s a labored coincidence: I got a bunch of people coming to this blog in the latter half of last month. Checking the source log, it came as a result of Fred Hembeck‘s kind weekly plug and from a mention of Olympic figure skater Tanith Belbin at Tom the Dog’s reply section. Meanwhile Tom the Dog opined about Gilmore Girls, one of the few shows Carol and I watch together. Mr. Hembeck also is a fan. So, in honor of that synchronicity in this Dog eat Dog world, here’s a pic of Lauren Graham from Thunderdog. Told you it was labored.
***
And lest I forget: the four librarians in my office at the NYS Small Business Development Center now have a blog as well, targeting the small business community and our SBDC advisors. We each contribute something once a week. My day is Tuesday. Actually, we’ve been doing it for several months, but it was an intranet site. Subsequently, we decided that there wasn’t anything that would be violating confidentiality. So the Research Network blog is here.

TV Cable a la carte


You probably saw the article earlier this month noting the Federal Communications Commission’s reversal about a la carte cable programming, or in the words of Ray Davies, “Give the people what they want.”

First off, I’m puzzled.

The story is clear that Congressional legislation is likely needed to effect the change, so it wasn’t as though the change came with the report, only the Commission’s position on cable programming. So the play it got confounded me.

Also, I’m suspicious.

I certainly don’t know if it would be cheaper or not to configure individual homes, this one with channels 1-25 and that one with channels 11-35, although it is counterintuitive to think that if they charge $50 for 100 channels, the companies will now start charging $25 for 50 channels. There are some fixed costs, I would imagine.

What I’m suspicious of is promises. The 1996 Telecommunications Act was supposed to create greater competition, and therefore lower prices for cable television. This simply has not happened.

Some analysts suggest that there will be fewer new cable cable stations, because without being bundled, people will be less likely to choose a not yet aired network.
Finally, I’m concerned.

I’m hoping that whatever is ultimately worked out makes some sort of provision for “must-carry” stations. It is local programming, generally news, that distinguishes watching TV in Detroit from Denver or Dallas. The homogenization of TV (and OK, malls and lots of aspects of American life) worries me. Maybe it’s windmill-tilting, but I like being able to turn on a TV in a hotel and actually have some idea where the heck I am, besides seeing the “On the 8s” graphic on The Weather Channel.

Oscar Poll; Dennis Weaver

The Internet Movie Database is taking an unscientific poll, asking for people’s “dark horse” pick for the Oscar:
Jake Gyllenhaal for Best Supporting Actor 1881 (18.0%)
George Clooney for Best Director 1145 (11.0%)
Matt Dillon for Best Supporting Actor 998 (9.6%)
Keira Knightley for Best Actress 858 (8.2%)
Munich for Best Picture 797 (7.6%)
Good Night, and Good Luck for Best Picture 694 (6.6%)
Terrence Howard for Best Actor 631 (6.0%)
Capote for Best Picture 585 (5.6%)
Amy Adams for Best Supporting Actress 572 (5.5%)
David Strathairn for Best Actor 518 (5.0%)
Other 451 (4.3%)
Steven Spielberg for Best Director 422 (4.0%)
William Hurt for Best Supporting Actor 327 (3.1%)
Judi Dench for Best Actress 225 (2.2%)
Charlize Theron for Best Actress 161 (1.5%)
Frances McDormand for Best Supporting Actress 143 (1.4%)
Bennett Miller for Best Director 34 (0.3%)
A total of 10442 votes were collected.
(as of 3 pm today)
I voted for Knightley, even though I never saw the movie Pride and Prejudice, because my wife liked her performance so much.
***

When my sister Leslie and I were little, we’d limp around the house, saying “Comin’, Mr. Dillon.” Somehow, this was terribly funny when we were 7 or 8. We were watching Dennis Weaver as Chester Goode, the limping deputy to James Arness’ rugged Marshall Matt Dillon, a role he played during the first half of the long run of “Gunsmoke”.

Later, I watched the fish-out-of-water “McCloud”, who was promoted to sheriff. He seemed to always get the bad guy, despite the doubts of New York City’s finest. McCloud was a 60-minute, 90-minute and 2-hour show on NBC in the early 1970s, often in rotation with shows such as “Columbo” and “McMillan and Wife”.

As a fine working actor, he took on many other parts, including on the the Simpsons, but I can’t help but to identify him by these two pivotal roles. He died on Friday, but I only heard today.

Sunday Funnies: The Black Comic Book, Pt. 7

The last piece on The Colored Negro Black Comic Book by Sid Jacobson and Ernie Colon. Yes, I know it’s Monday, but if Kelly Brown can do Weird Thoughts Monday on Tuesday, and her husband Lefty can do Friday Three Questions on Saturday, who am I to be a purist?

Note: in the comic strip tradition all the words in the strip are in capitals, but for readability, I’ve deigned to write in standard English. Also the words that are in bold in the strip are in red in this text.

“B.S.”, a 4-page reply to “B.C.”

Page 1:
White caveman (sharpening spear): What are you doing?

Page 2, Panel 1:
Black caveman (holding arrow): I am inventing something called the wheel…
Page 2, Panel 2:
Black caveman: What are you doing?

Page 3:

Page 4:
Both cavemen dead, one from spear, one from arrow.
Cave boy: What did they do?
Father: They just invented brotherhood!

All they were saying was, “Give peace a chance.” There were a lot of songs about getting along at the time, notably “Friendship Train” by Gladys Knight and the Pips: “Unrest between races must come to an end.” That song was written by Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong, who wrote a number of “message” songs for the Temptations.

***

“Brother Blackberry”, a 1 page parody of “Brother Juniper”, not in Toonopedia, but in my local newspapers when I was a kid.

Well, if God did make us in His/Her/Their image… There are lots of pictures of black Jesuses in black people’s homes I visited, even to this day.

***

“Likriss Sikniss”, a 1-page reflection of “Dennis the Menace”

Some things that one wants to avoid have no race.

***

“Believe It or Watts!”, a 2-page riff on “Ripley’s Believe It or Not”

Page 1:

Page 2 (left side)
Nude man sitting in steamy area:
Narrative: This black man has slept in a hot coal bed for fifteen years!! (Before that, he was an idiot albino from Kalamazoo!)

Page 2 (right side):
Tree carved with word “black”.
Markings found on a white birch in Caucasia, Pa. The tree is owned by Mrs. Fiona Black, whose son carved his name into it.

(In arrow): Look what can be done with Sidney Poitier’s name:
which involved the words Hi, Doris Day (from the D and O in his name), plus Rosh Hashona, apple, Ship, parsley, Altoona, Nipsey, CORE, and NAACP in crossword form

The first page was a pretty OK piece, but the second generated a Huh? from me.

And that’s it, except for these final thoughts:

Thanks to the anonymous correspondent who identified the Little King as the antecedent for “King Coal” a couple weeks ago. It has been rectified in the original posting.

The book publisher, Price/Stern/Sloan, also put out other books at the time, including You Were Born on a Rotten Day, The Power of Positive Pessimism and my favorite, the Wit and Wisdom of Spiro T. Agnew, which was a title page, followed by a bunch of blank pages.

It was great to find something that the comic book fans, which I (marginally) still am, would appreciate.

Ramblin' with Roger
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