Yours, Mine and Ours

I said, “If you do not know the title of the movie, I will not take you.”

YoursMineOursI don’t always have a strong memory of movies I saw as a child. I had a vague memory of seeing a film called Yours, Mine and Ours, a 1968 film, starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda and Van Johnson, but I couldn’t have told you where or when.

From the IMBD:

When a widower with 10 children marries a widow with 8, can the 20 of them ever come together as one big happy family? From finding a house big enough for all of them and learning to make 18 school lunches, to coping with a son going off to war and an unexpected addition to the family, Yours, Mine and Ours attempts to blend two families into one and hopes to answer the question Is bigger really better?

It was “based loosely on the story of Frank and Helen Beardsley,” and makes the Brady Bunch, which came along a year or two later, seem like pikers. “The film was commercially successful, and even the Beardsleys themselves appreciated it.”

But my “baby” sister Marcia often recalls a whole lot that has left my synapses. She remembers me taking her to this movie. She wrote on Facebook: “I am sure that seeing this movie was not the most exciting thing for him to do that day..anyways…I was so excited to go to the movie with my big brother.
Marcia.Roger
“For a second I could not remember the title. He said, ‘If you do not know the title of the movie, I will not take you.'” That sounds about right. “Well, I remembered as I have many childhood memories. One of my favorite memories with my brother Binghamton, NY.”

So I asked her, “OK, wise one. WHERE did we see this? Maybe the Strand or the Riviera on Chenango Street, near where Mom worked? Or the Ritz on Clinton St, which we could have walked to? Or the Crest on Main, which seems a little far unless we got a ride?”

She replied, “We walked…and the conversation about to go or not to go was standing at that little cut-through at the end of Gaines Street…so it would have been the Ritz on Clinton Street. I can remember that conversation like it was yesterday…” The “little cut was a driveway to a very cube-looking gray building that never seemed to have anyone living or working there.

“It was a cloudy day…omg.” NOW she’s just showing off. Funny thing about that driveway: it was next to the Greene’s house at 13 Gaines, a white-and-green structure. We lived at 5 Gaines, in a green house. We often got each others’ mail.

Happy natal day to my baby sister. She’s turning…some number less than 63.

The lesson of the birthday

THAT was my favorite birthday present this year.

cake.candleOne of the traditions in my office, when we have our monthly birthday party, is that the persons celebrating their natal day need to:

1. Say what they did on that day, and
2. Provide some words of wisdom.

What did I do on that day earlier this month? Mostly respond to all the kind comments from you all. This picture came from one of them. And I saw the video of the Daughter’s musical. More on that eventually.

Most people find the latter to be a difficult exercise. So what’s MY takeaway?

The day before my birthday, the sermon was a story about a fictional town, but with a very real message about unwarranted chastisement and forgiveness. I’m reminded of the cliche that you don’t always know what kind of impact you have on others, for good or for ill. This story, A principal met a student she expelled, and it changed her approach to discipline, is also in that vein.

One of those birthday comments I got from a friend of relatively recent acquaintance reads: “‘It’s good that you are alive…’ Thank you for your birthday blog quote, Roger! Happy Birthday! You have the gift of making people feel good to be alive — there were often times when I’d be feeling a bit false, and your cheerful, warm hello often made me feel completely present in the room again.”

And THAT was my favorite birthday present this year, better than the new backpack I desperately needed, or the certificate for snacks at the Spectrum Theatre.

The Lydster, Part 144: An Even Dozen

She’s now #1 in New York State in First in Math

Lydia.kente.
Earlier this month, the Daughter appeared in the church musical, for the third year in a row. This year’s effort was called SPEAK LOUD, SPEAK PROUD, and had readings written by the performers, as well as dancing, and singing, and rapping. My daughter wrote something about me, which was only slightly mortifying because it was true.

She continues to excel in school, particularly in math. She may be a tad obsessed with First in Math. She’s now #1 in New York State with over 20,000 points, in the Top 20 for her grade nationally, and trying to make the Top 100 nationally. More importantly to her, she’s helping to close the gap between her school and the #1 school in the district.

She enjoys reading but is less than enthralled about writing about the readings. The class requirements DO seem to have a bit of mechanical feel to it, with X number of paragraphs, all starting with certain words such as First or Then or Next or Finally, and X paragraphs, each with Y sentences.

To my surprise, she’s given up the clarinet. I thought she was doing well, and that she both enjoyed it, especially playing with her mother, and that she was pretty good at it. The Wife wants to sell the Daughter’s instrument, but I’m opposed; I think she might come back to it.

She had to deal with a bullying incident in school, which has been resolved. The principal to him noted that his remarks were not only hurtful to others but, taken the wrong way, dangerous to himself. It was difficult for her to report him, as it seemed to draw attention to herself, and perhaps even harder to hear his apology.

Her room is…not as tidy as it might be, even by my fairly lax standards.

There’s undoubtedly more to say, but I’ll just note that I love the girl.

Roger is 63

“Grown-ups are making it up as they go along,”

Roger_shirt63. Three score and three. I’ve turned 21 for the third time. Or the forty-third time, depending on how you look at these things.

I saw this on my friend Steve Bissette’s Facebook page a while back – he’s a fellow March Piscean, FWIW – and I thought it both appropriate and true, though I’ve never seen the film:

“You think grown-ups have it all figured out? That’s just a hustle, kid. Grown-ups are making it up as they go along, just like you. You remember that, and you’ll do fine.”
– Lawrence Woolsey (John Goodman), MATINEE (1993)

Since I don’t actually blog on my birthday, or work on my birthday, I’ll leave you with the usual, which, now that I look back, I haven’t used in three years:

A quote from one of my favorite books, Here and Now: Living in the Spirit by Henri J.M. Nouwen, a Canadian theologian who died in 1996. (Copyright 1994, published by The Crossroad Publishing Company.)

I share this passage about birthdays, not only for my sake, but, I hope, for yours as well:

Birthdays need to be celebrated. I think it is more important to celebrate a birthday than a successful exam, a promotion, or a victory. Because to celebrate a birthday means to say to someone: “Thank you for being you.” Celebrating a birthday is exalting life and being glad for it. On a birthday we do not say: “Thanks for what you did, or said, or accomplished.” No, we say: “Thank you for being born and being among us.”

Celebrating a birthday reminds us of the goodness of life, and in this spirit we really need to celebrate people’s birthdays every day, by showing gratitude, kindness, forgiveness, gentleness, and affection. These are ways of saying: “It’s good that you are alive; it’s good that you are walking with me on this earth. Let’s be glad and rejoice. This is the day that God has made for us to be and to be together.”

 

Angela Davis is 72

Looking at these Brainy Quotes of Angela Davis, they do not seem so out of line with current progressive thought.

The controversial activist Angela Davis hits threescore and twelve on January 26.
AngelaYvonneDavis

I believe this was a pair of FBI most wanted shots. (Wikipedia has the info about the trial, in which she was acquitted.)

My, she had a great ‘fro. Yes, I was jealous in the day.

Looking at these Brainy Quotes of hers, they do not seem so out of line with current progressive thought.

Here are:
A 1997 Frontline interview
A piece from the Guardian: ‘We used to think there was a black community’
2014 interview on Democracy Now: Angela Davis on Prison Abolition, the War on Drugs and Why Social Movements Shouldn’t Wait on Obama

Here’s a picture of one of my cousins at a rally supporting Angela Davis. This photo was taken as the women marched down Fifth Avenue on August 26, 1970, in the first mass women’s demonstration, reportedly 50,000 strong. My cousin reports that they were asked by others to abandon this banner “because Angela Davis has nothing to do with women’s liberation.” But my cousin’s group told them that Angela had everything to do with the kind of women’s liberation we were talking about.

davis_parade

Ramblin' with Roger
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