Holiday Blues QUESTION

I still remember Christmas Eve in 1990. I was at a choir party when we heard that our tenor section leader, Sandy Cohen, had had a heart attack.

There seems to be this myth – and most every thinking person knows it is – that the holidays are wonderful, joy-filled days for nearly everyone. Au contraire: they can be quite tough for some people. As About.com put it, “It’s okay, however, to admit that [family] get-togethers aren’t always a fancy-free walk down Candy Cane Lane.” Even those who generally love the season can feel worn down by too much shopping/cooking/traveling to do.

A few years ago, my church had a service about a week before Christmas for those struggling with the holidays. It wasn’t greatly attended; a LOT of that was the weather. But I also wonder if one did want to self-identify as one of THOSE people who find the time frame to be a bit of a drag.

I still remember Christmas Eve in 1990. I was at a choir party when we heard that our tenor section leader, Sandy Cohen, had had a heart attack. Soon thereafter, we got word that he had died. And THEN we had to go sing at the 10:30 p.m. service; talk about tough.

So does Advent/Christmas bring you down a little, and if so, how do you combat it? For me, it’s eggnog and amaretto.
***
To Xmas and beyond

What Christmas Means to Me – Stevie Wonder, possibly my favorite pop song Christmas tune.

Christmas Meme

singing seasonal music

SamauraiFrog did this last year, based on this daily meme.

Favorite Tradition: Playing music. Usually start about the solstice and run to Epiphany, when nobody’s doing it. It goes well with my contrarian nature.
Favorite Elf: Don’t have one.
Santa or Mrs. Claus: about even.
Favorite Reindeer: Rudolph. I mean those other reindeer were mean. THEN they want to suck up to Rudy when he saves Christmas. Bah, humbug!
Favorite Holiday Snack: eggnog and Amaretto
Favorite Decoration: somewhere down the several moves, I’ve lost my favorites, which were these wooden, red hearts.
Favorite Christmas Movie: almost any version of A Christmas Carol. I loved the Mr. Magoo version as a child.
Favorite Christmas Song: Coventry Carol. Especially this version by Alison Moyet.
Favorite Christmas TV Special: A Charlie Brown Christmas
Favorite Thing To Wear: warm socks
Favorite Christmas Book: it’s a book of carols from Time/Life or Readers Digest
Favorite Gift You Ever Got: the first Hess truck I got, which was a fire truck.
Favorite Gift You Ever Gave: a reversible outfit I bought for my then six-y.o. niece (she’s turning 21); her mother loved it, and she had a picture taken in it. It fit her for almost three years.
Favorite Candy: candy cane
Favorite Christmas Website: probably SamuraiFrog’s

Favorite Tradition You Used To Do: go to church at 10:30 pm, and leave church at midnight. It almost always was snowing lightly.
Favorite Part of Christmas Eve: helping Santa
Favorite Part of Christmas Day: handing out the presents.
How Early Do You Get Up on December 25th: whenever the daughter wakes up
How Late Do You Stay Up on December 24th: about 11 p.m.
Favorite Christmas Picture: It’s probably one of the Daughter at age 3 or 4, which I’m too disorganized to find.
Anticipation or the Day: The day. The anticipation always comes with stress.
Advent Calendar You’re Doing: Bible reading
Favorite Christmas Thing You’re Doing/Done In School: singing seasonal music.
What Did You Get? well, I made a list. I want about the same thing, either every year (World Almanac, Hess truck, some music from my Amazon list), or every few years (Leonard Maltin movie guide).
What Did You Give? My sisters haven’t hinted NEARLY enough, but they’re far away. My wife and daughter are close enough to hint broadly, and I like that.
What Did You Feed Santa: cookies and milk.
What Did You Feed The Reindeer: nothing, but they do get water.
Do You Believe In Santa?: Of course!
Are You Sad? Now and then. Fearing the wreath of Khan.

‘Twas the weeks before Christmas, when all through the house,
I smelled a hint of the fire Europe was trying to douse.
It seemed to get bigger with each passing day,
From my investment portfolio, please, please stay away.
[12 verses, with embedded links!]
Favorite Part of the Season? Singing and listening to music.

Lower graphic from Stephen Wildish via HERE.

Approximating the Christmas Spirit

This is the first Christmas since my mother died. Purchasing something she wanted had always tough in recent years, as she said she wanted for nothing. Last year, I hit on a bathrobe she apparently really liked, plus her word puzzles she used to keep her mind sharp. I so wish I still had the aggravation of buying for her.

This is one of those “breakfast blog” posts, so dubbed by my friend Dan, the kind you read over oatmeal. Or something.

A few years back, there was this graphic that featured Stephen Colbert and a board with eight lines of text. I had used it a few times around 2007, but I couldn’t get it to work correctly a few weeks ago. Too bad; I had worked out my first message:
THERE IS NO
“WAR ON CHRISTMAS”.
“HAPPY HOLIDAYS”
JUST NOTES
KWANZAA, HANUKKAH,
NEW YEARS EVE
ET AL.
CHILL OUT, OK?

(But listen to Charles Ingalls doing his Linus van Pelt imitation.)

And besides, Christmastime, by the church calendar, doesn’t start until Christmas day, running to Epiphany, in early January.

We are currently in Advent. A party held right now would be an Advent party, if you want to get all technical/fussy about it. (Science tricks to impress/distract your family during said holiday gatherings.)

Every year recently, there has been a Medieval Faire in Albany in late October. I always look forward to it, in no small part, because that’s where/when I start my Christmas shopping in earnest. I know people who have finished their shopping before the summer solstice (Northern Hemisphere) is over. Actually, in the past, I had found presents earlier, then promptly hid them – from myself, only to rediscover them in February. A couple of months of hiding I can keep track of. And for the decade or so when the Faire was on hiatus, I’d really struggle, especially re: the wife’s gift.

This is the first Christmas since my mother died. Purchasing something she wanted had always been tough in recent years, as she said she wanted for nothing. Last year, I hit on a bathrobe she apparently really liked, plus her word puzzles she used to keep her mind sharp. I so wish I still had the aggravation of buying for her.

Oh yeah, here’s the John Lennon seasonal song.

Check out Scott’s Comic Book Cover Advent Calendar, not just this year’s but over the previous seven seasons!

 

Roger Answers Your Questions, Denise, Tom, Shooting Parrots, Jaquandor & dogs

I have no “traditional Christmas dinner menu”. Over the years, it’s been ham, chicken, turkey, duck, lamb, lasagna, probably roast beef, even Chinese takeout.

What a great bunch of responses to my request!


Ginger, Buddy and Shadow proving doggie wisdom from Pawprints in the Sands of Time ask the fundamental question:
Alright, here’s for your wish…Why do u want us to play this game of questions and answers this Christmas?

Because I learn so much, both about the person, er, entity, who is asking, and more, about myself as I think about things that might not have otherwise occurred to me. In other words, it’s an exercise in self-reflection.
***
I “know” Denise Nesbitt – and “know” is such an interesting term for someone you have never actually met, but it’s accurate nevertheless – through her creation of ABC Wednesday. She also can be found at Mrs. Nesbitt’s Space.

OK, What did you buy your wife, mother, and daughter for Christmas Roger?

There was this Medieval Faire every year at the Cathedral of All Saints in Albany, NY for about 30 years. And while I was going out with Carol, I sometimes -thrice, she tells me – would buy her a hand knit wool sweater from this particular woman. Then the faire stopped for about eight years. I’d buy her a sweater from LL Bean, and once from this Irish shop across the river in Troy, but it just wasn’t the same. Then last year, the faire was backe…I mean, back! Unfortunately, this particular vendor couldn’t make it, as she had another commitment. Bummer. But this year, she was back, Carol hinted heavily what she wanted, we walked away, but later, I came back and bought. There was also this teddy bear that she lost, that was given to her by her late brother; I found not quite a replica, but close.

Lydia got a lot of things: books, clothes, an enhanced version of the old game Twister, with CDs rather than a spinner; the big thing was this expensive doll she wanted, complete with wardrobe. In fact, her mother and I had purchased SO many items, we held some back for her birthday, three months hence. At that same Faire I mentioned, there was a soap in the shape of a seashell that Santa discovered she wanted.

My mother has been difficult to shop for for years. If you ask her directly, she’ll either say, “Oh anything” or “You needn’t bother.” Unhelpful to be sure. But my sister tells me that she really likes these puzzle books. I ended going to the CVS Pharmacy, found a couple of those, plus a lap blanket and a bathrobe – it’s been COLD in North Carolina lately.
***
Shooting Parrots, who provides “random thoughts in a random world”, asks:
What was the best ever Christmas present you received? And which was the worst?!
I think the best is the unexpected: my father helping me on my Sunday paper route on Christmas morning in 1966, or our first color TV in 1969, or the free tree my then significant other and I got on Christmas Eve 1991 from Sears, and took home on a city bus.
Worst?

Haven’t a clue. I mean, I groan when my wife gives me clothes, but it really isn’t a bad gift. Maybe it’s because I’ve mastered the art of regifting, long before I’d ever heard the term.
***
Tom the Mayor I know from my time at FantaCo, though I actually met him when he worked at the Albany YMCA on Washington Avenue (RIP).
Do you ever feel any bigotry in your neighborhood in Albany? Do you think that Racial attitudes have changed since you first moved to Albany?

Interesting question. I always wonder how it would have been growing up in Albany. But I didn’t get here until I was 26 and already with the receding hairline. And some people know who I am here, a couple recognizing me from my Times Union blog just this week.

I’m not saying that my life in Albany has been incident-free. More than once, people have yelled racist comments, usually from moving vehicles. But that hasn’t happened in at least a decade.

I recall that in the early 1990s I got unsolicited lectures (at least twice) about the problems of miscegenation, not for the adults involved, but for “the children” that might arrive. So I’m curious how this will play out for my daughter, whether she’ll be subjected to that. It was really important for us that Lydia go to a diverse daycare, and she had friends who were black, white, and Asian. I have cautious hope that things are indeed better.
***
Buffalo’s finest blogger, Jaquandor at Byzantium Shores asks:
1. You are ordered to design a new menu for your family’s Christmas dinner…with the one stipulation that you use none of the dishes that are currently featured in your traditional Christmas dinner. What’s the menu?

Here’s the problem: I have no “traditional Christmas dinner menu”. Over the years, it’s been ham, chicken, turkey, duck, lamb, lasagna, probably roast beef, even Chinese takeout. So I would have to go with hot dogs, hamburgers, fish filets, French fries, and grilled cheese sandwiches. What, no veggies? Again, it’s been all over the map, so it’s either a vegetable I’ve had, or do not like.

2. Are there any current “reality” shows that you would actually consider auditioning for?
If by stretching the definition to include game shows, “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”, maybe. My antipathy for reality shows isn’t just with the game, it’s the editing to make the program more dramatic.

3. If you ran into Bill O’Reilly somewhere on the street on, say, December 19, would you tell him “Happy Holidays!” just to see him get angry? (I know I would!)
Yeah, except it’d be “Happy holidays, Bill,” so he knew I knew who he was.

4. Do you have high hopes, medium hopes, or not much hope at all for Governor-elect Cuomo?
Medium-low. I thought he ran a lousy campaign, he was not very forthcoming – his financials didn’t come out until weeks after the election – and I just don’t much trust him. The only reason he won is that he was running against a nutcase. I didn’t even vote for him. (No, I didn’t vote for Paladino, I voted for Howie Hawkins on the Green Party line, because it was evident that Cuomo was going to win anyway.)

Of course, to be fair, I’m not sure what ANYONE can do about this state and local government crisis. Did you see that 60 Minutes segment? ALL the states are in big fiscal trouble.

Well, next time out: Demeur, Anthony, Gordon, Scott, ChrisJ, and anyone else who wants to play.

The Lydster, Part 81: Letting Go

This is what has ultimately started to work: altruism.


Part of the difficulty with this Christmas is that The Daughter did not seem to want to give up anything she already has. Games and toys, especially stuffed animals, that are well past her presumed age range she holds onto like a canteen of water in the desert. She also has all of her books, but I give that a bit of a pass. Her daily homework involves her reading 15 minutes each weekday, so the books we used to read to her, she can now read herself.

Not that a few items didn’t disappear, usually when worn out or broken or games rendered incomplete. I did this experiment of taking some of the plush toys to the attic. If she said, “I can’t find X” toy, I’d bring it down. then a few months later, I showed her the whole cache, and of course, she wanted them all.

Her mother’s tactic involved telling her that she needed to get rid of some items so that Santa could bring her more stuff. This has been pretty much a dismal failure.

But this is what has ultimately started to work: altruism. Carol & I have a couple of friends who have a girl and a boy a couple of years younger than she is. Items she has outgrown now end up in the hands of her little pals. Even a book that just had pictures and names of items, rather than text, she has deemed too juvenile. And her potty training book she gave to the parents of the child across the street.

So now there IS room for the dolls and games and books she received yesterday.

 

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