Lydia Archives - Page 2 of 50 - Ramblin' with Roger

Lydster: plane ride home

Thandeka Dladla

The day before the daughter took the plane ride home, I asked her, on WhatsApp, if she had her ticket and passport. She wrote back, “I hope so.” Of course, she did, but it wasn’t the answer I had been seeking. She arrived at the airport in Cape Town about four hours before her scheduled flight on June 17, as recommended, which was beneficial because loading began over an hour before takeoff.

So it wasn’t precisely a plane ride “home” but to the DC metro. Meanwhile, my wife was driving us from the Poconos to a Hampton Inn near Dulles International Airport. We could follow the 14-hour flight on the United Airlines app.

The daughter has landed!

On the morning of June 18, we took a hotel shuttle to the airport, and after the driver spoke with the daughter on my phone, he was able to locate her. We see the Daughter! After brief hugs, we returned to the Hampton, ate breakfast, and then went back to the Poconos. Since her internal clock was six hours ahead of Eastern time, and she hadn’t slept much on the plane, there was a period of adjustment.

Still, she shared gifts with us, including some various flavored salts and teas for my wife. I received a University of Cape Town hat and t-shirt. Additionally, I got CDs of Miriam Makeba and a live album by Thandeka Dladla, a devotee of Makeba who my daughter has seen perform. As my daughter predicted, she fell asleep listening to Dladla.

The next day, after breakfast, we went to the miniature golf course. It was two 18-hole courses, one on the plains and the other on the mountains. It was accurate in that the latter involved far more steps to climb. It also started getting very warm and muggy as we swatted some mosquitoes.

We stopped at the general store for lunch, then stayed for ice cream when a quick deluge fell from the sky.

The next day, we went home, stopping at Milford, PA en route. About three hours after arriving home, the daughter went out with a friend. It’s good to have her back.

Lydster: telling her about Christy

Christy Harris D’Ambrosio

Among the most terrible things I had to do regarding my daughter was telling her about Christy Harris D’Ambrosio, who died on Tuesday, April 8. Christy was the youth director at our church when my daughter was active growing up in the church. She directed several plays that my daughter participated in, including The Prince of Egypt, Once on This Island, The Lion King, an iteration of Assassins called Shooters, Bethlehemian Rhapsody, a performance using Beatles music, and even a piece that required the kids to write their own content. Christy was also a long-time member of our choir.

When I heard on the Sunday before she died that she was not expected to make it, right after church, I rushed to a parent of another kid who had been in my daughter’s confirmation class. I said, How are you telling your kid? How am I going to tell MY kid, who is in South Africa?

The day after Christy had passed, I tried to set up a WhatsApp meeting with my daughter. It didn’t work, so we communicated on Facebook Messenger, which meant that I couldn’t see her face, just her photo. I spent about 20 minutes discussing almost anything except the news I needed to share with her. When I told her that Christy had died, the first thing she said was “What?”

Christy had been very ill several times in the last four or five years with cancer. Still, she tended to rally and get better. She even made it back into the choir for a brief time. The news was a surprise, yet not. I could hear my the upset in my daughter’s voice and I felt helpless in doing anything about it, which frankly sucked.

Obit, augmented

I’m going to steal from the obit on her Facebook page:

“She was the Youth Director at the First Presbyterian Church of Albany for over a decade.” The kids adored her. My daughter and two of her compatriots made what I guess was a memory box. Christy said it was her favorite gift ever.

“Served as the Albany Presbytery Coordinator for the National Presbytery Triennium for Youth in 2013, 2016, and 2019.” Oh, yeah, she accompanied the First Presbyterian youth group, including the daughter, in 2019, and even got me to volunteer as one of the chaperones on a round-trip bus trip to West Lafayette, IN.

“Coordinator for the New York State Council of Churches Youth Leadership Conferences in both New York City and Washington, DC.” My daughter went on trips to those cities.

“In 2014, Christy coordinated a GroupCares national work camp in Albany, organizing over 400 youth from across the nation to paint and/or repair 30+ homes in the South End, Arbor Hill, and West Hills neighborhoods, as well as the PYHIT Schuyler Inn facility in Menands.” Oh, yeah, our whole family participated in this.

“Christy was honored by the NYS Council of Churches in 2017 for Excellence in Christian Formation and received a Community Service Award from the Cameroonian Association of the Greater Capital District in 2019.

“Christy also worked as an Administrator for Albany Pro Musica and volunteered at Music Mobile, Wizard’s Wardrobe, and Children at the Well (With Our Voices).” Wizard’s Wardrobe is a tutoring program located in the South End, where my wife works. It was Christy who came up with the idea of a Readers Theater, which has been one of the most successful fundraising efforts.

Services

“Relatives and friends are invited to visit with Christy’s family on Friday, May 2, 2025, from 4:00 to 7:00 pm at McVeigh Funeral Home, 208 North Allen Street, Albany, NY 12206. Please enter the funeral home from the rear parking lot entrance only. Funeral services will be held on Saturday, May 3, 2025, at 2:00 pm at First Presbyterian Church, 362 State Street, Albany, NY 12210.” Of COURSE the choir will be singing, because. “Interment will follow at Our Lady of Angels Cemetery immediately following the Service. To leave a message for the family, please visit www.McveighFuneralHome.com

“Donations can be made in her memory to Wizard’s Wardrobe, PO Box 61, Albany, NY 12201 (wizardswardrobe.org) or With Our Voices, PO Box 271, Latham, NY 12110 (withourvoices.org).

Lydster: go to the South African consulate

Happy birthday!!

Last we checked, my daughter and I were getting ready to go to the South African consulate in New York City in mid-January. She was there for about 45 minutes. Her father had to stay downstairs, as did a couple of other parents, and there were no chairs; they specifically did not want us to sit on the floor.

Everything seemed to be in place, but we still fretted a bit. That evening, we went to see Maybe Happy Ending with a niece and her Significant Other, the first Broadway show I had seen since Newsies in 2014, and also with my daughter.

Shockingly, her visa arrived in a week —yay!

Jersey

On February 5th, my wife, daughter, and I went to Newark. My wife rightly hated driving in New Jersey, and the closer we got to Newark, the worse. One particular car was in the right lane of three heading south while we were in the middle lane. The car from our right decided to be in the same space we were in, so my wife had to evade the vehicle, not even having time to see if a vehicle was in the left lane to avoid this fool.

We stopped at a hotel near the Newark airport and took a shuttle to the airport a couple of hours later. The shuttle driver’s driving made my wife nervous. “Jersey drivers” is an earned epitaph.

We arrived at the airport and went through all the processing more quickly than I anticipated. My daughter sat waiting for two hours before boarding, a bit annoyed that we got there so early.

Our daughter had a 14-hour direct flight from Newark to Cape Town, South Africa, and got a ride to her college. Before beginning classes, she experienced many cool and fun orientation stuff, including sightseeing. She seems to be enjoying herself.

School days

Classes began on February 17th, and she’s enjoying dance, history, and art. One of the things she mentioned about her art class was that most of her classmates have been attending classes together for the past two years. She’s the only American there, and they’re asking her questions—”Why does your country do THAT?”—but they’re otherwise pretty chill about it.

She has had a couple of allergy scares, one while eating pizza and the other a pasta dish. Food labeling is not as robust as it is in the United States. And she’s had some difficulty with her credit and debit cards, even though we called her banks before she left the country.

Last year, my wife and I went to her college in Massachusetts and spent time with her both before and after her birthday, although not on her birthday. This year, she’s 7,845 miles or 12,625 kilometers. We knew this was going to be the case. It’s a good thing she’s doing what she wants to: exploring the world.

Yet I feel a soupçon of melancholy that she’s so far away. Happy birthday, my dear daughter. Enjoy your special day.

Lydster: Apostille

certified

Thanks to my daughter, I’ve learned a new word, apostille, which I’ll describe in due course. She decided to study abroad in the second semester of this college year. There’s a database she consulted to discern where to go based on her interests in art, black studies, environmental studies, and social justice.

She found one college in Botswana and three in South Africa: one in Johannesburg and the others in Cape Town. So she picked one, and then the process began. Because her current college compiled grades in a non-conventional way, she didn’t get approved for this process until late October. This seems like a reasonable amount of time, except that one has to get a visa to be a student in South Africa.

She made an appointment and was given January 21, 2025, to appear at the South African consulate in New York City. (One has to go to NYC, LA, or DC.) After writing a letter of appeal, the time was changed to January 14, and her February 5 flight was still a tight deadline.

The extensive list

Before the consulate visit, she had to check off items on this list. One item was a Notarized copy of the birth certificate. What does THAT mean?

Since my daughter was away at college, I went to Albany City Hall to get another copy of her birth certificate. We had the original, but I correctly surmised we’d need another one. It was a good thing I went in that direction. Once I got the birth certificate ($17), I got this page from the city clerk’s office. “Once a certified record is issued by the city of Albany, that record must go to the Albany County clerk’s office. The fee is $3 per document. The record must be issued within the last six months.” Fortunately, the city and county clerks are only a short distance apart on Eagle Street.

“The documents must then go to the New York State Secretary of State, Miscellaneous Records the country where the document is to be sent must be specified. The fee is $10 per document. ” That is at 99 Washington Avenue, not too far away.

The word at the top of the page the city clerk’s office gave me is Apostille. It is “a document used in international law that is issued by a government in accordance with the Hague Convention, and that certifies that another document has been signed by a notary public.”

Plus

She also needed a “Machine-readable valid passport with at least two (2) unused (blank) pages labeled Visa when presented at the Embassy or Consulate; one page for affixing the visa or permit by the embassy/consulate and the other page for endorsement of entry/departure stamp by the South African Immigration Services. Passport must be valid for 30 more days after the intended return date from South Africa.”

As it turned out, I had… persuaded her to get a passport in February 2024, which allowed her to dream about going abroad.

Two (2) passport photos with white or light background

She got this when she was home for Thanksgiving break. These are for the visa.

Medical report on prescribed form (physical). The certificate must not be older than six (6) months at the time the applicant submits an application.

It was also completed during the T-day break.

Original FBI certificate (full criminal background check report) and original police clearance certificate from each country where the relevant applicant resided for 12 months or longer after attaining the age of 18 years (for the last 5 years) in respect of criminal records or the character of that applicant, which certificate shall not be older than six months at the time of its submission.

Ditto. This was done in Half Moon, a small hamlet in the metro area that is not especially nearby.

What else?

Certified/notarized copy of bio page of the passport
Proof of financial means in the form of recent three months bank statements stamped by bank, and notarized letter from the parents stating the financial responsibility.
Proof of sufficient financial means available to the learner while in South Africa
Certified copy of ID of person taking financial responsibility, with three months statement and stamped letter from the bank.

Our financial institutions (banks, credit unions) handled “certified/notarized” slightly differently.

Proof of itinerary/reservation of round trip air tickets. Please do not purchase air tickets until you obtain a South African visa.

How do we prove an itinerary without buying a ticket? We purchase a (more expensive) refundable ticket.

But we HAVE insurance, don’t we?

Proof of medical cover, renewed annually, for the period of study with a medical scheme registered under the Medical Schemes Act.

This confused me somewhat, as the entity arranging the trip provided a policy through a company that “provides a complete network of travel insurance coverage—medical insurance, 24-hour emergency assistance, trip and baggage delay, loss of baggage, and much more!” However, the company was NOT registered under the Medical Schemes Act.

On January 6, I purchased a qualifying insurance policy. I had a copy of my receipt, but we didn’t have a copy of the policy. I wrote to them again on January 10th, and they sent the policy to my daughter, saying they had sent it previously. Unfortunately, it was password-protected, and we had no idea what the password was. Luckily, my daughter wrote to them again, and they gave us a clean copy we could print.

So, on Monday, January 13, my daughter and I took a train to New York City in anticipation of the trip to the South African consulate with what we HOPED was everything we needed, including a US Postal Service self-addressed, pre-paid courier envelope “to facilitate return services” and a “non-refundable fee of $36.00 money order for processing.”

More soon.

Lying about time

inaccurate

As long as I can remember, I’ve been lying about time. When I was growing up, my household, probably my father, decided that the kitchen clock should run 15 minutes ahead. This was an attempt to get us to attend church and other events on time. I think it worked for a short while, but after a bit, we knew we had an extra quarter-hour and would get to events late anyway.

Incidentally, the clock in the kitchen was the only timepiece everyone could see. My parents may have had an alarm clock in their bedroom, but I do not recall a clock in the living room.

I’ve learned to lie to some people about time. If I tell someone I must get to a train station or airport by a specific time, I suggest the train or flight is earlier. I find this to be an acceptable fabrication. Doing otherwise would make me irritated with the driver when I get to my destination with too little time. (I have specific examples.)

Including me

I lie to myself about when I have to leave for a CDTA bus. If I tell myself I must leave by 1 p.m., when I don’t need to leave until 1:05, I can return to the house and retrieve my wallet or find the house key.

When I worked at FantaCo in the 1980s, we had a great artist named Raoul Vezina. However, when he worked on a project, such as a Smilin’ Ed comic, he was such a perfectionist that he was invariably late. So Tom, the owner, would say, “Raoul, the book MUST be done by February 1!” It didn’t need to be completed until February 15, yet he’d still be putting on the finishing touches.

Sometimes, my wife tells me she’ll be home by a specific time. She is not lying, but she isn’t usually accurate. One time recently, I was supposed to start pre-heating the oven and then add the macaroni and cheese she had prepared the day before. I started the process 15 minutes late, just the right timing.

When planning a family trip in early February, the daughter suggested that we all agree to leave by 9:30 a.m., assuring that we would go by 10 a.m. We left the house at 10:08, pretty darn good.

Do YOU lie about time to yourself or others? Do others lie to you about time?