Pain and melancholy

Rita O’Leary, Jean Easton, John Earl Lewis, Rick Lacey

My cousin John Lewis

ITEM: Pain. On Thursday, August 21st, I went to an oral surgeon and had three teeth removed. One of them will be replaced with a device. I am less concerned about the aesthetics than that, over a week later, I’m still experiencing a great deal of discomfort.

I had been taking hydrocodone-acetamin. The maximum daily dose is six tablets, but they only gave me 12, so it took me about a week before I used them all up. Of course, the trick is that there’s no refill because they don’t want me to become addicted. I’m also taking amoxicillin three times a day for an infection.

Even when I wasn’t eating at all, a degree of discomfort would wake me up every two hours for the first four days. I would take hydrocodone right before going to bed, and then about four hours later, I’d get up and take some Advil.

This made me so tired that I was feeling very emotionally fragile. I’d see stories on the news that would make me weepy. It wasn’t just the latest mass shootings and the fruitless discussions that followed. I’d see a Note To Self about former World Champion pool player Jeanette Lee reflecting on her career journey amid a health battle and get all emotional about not just her scoliosis but the racism and sexism she endured. Usually, that story would make me feel inspired and probably a little ticked off, but no. I’m a puddle. And other stories had the same effect.

Family gathering

ITEM: On Saturday, August 23rd, my wife, daughter, and I were supposed to go to my mother-in-law’s place. My wife’s brother and his wife and their two daughters, living about an hour away, except for the one daughter in NYC, would do the same, except they got there earlier for lunch. My family arrived late, around 2 p.m., because my wife had to work in the morning.

It’s tough to get all these people in the same place simultaneously.  We brought the fixings for ice cream sundaes. But less than an hour later, my BIL’s wife got a phone call that her mother was dying, and their family rushed back. Shortly after they arrived, we got word that Rita had died.

I liked Rita O’Leary, who was 87. Until the last couple of years, I would see her a few times a year, including several Mother’s Day dinners at a local restaurant. Her obituary noted: “She leaves behind a legacy of love, acceptance, and kindness that will continue to inspire her family and community.” True enough. Rita is survived by a sister, two daughters, 15 grandchildren, 22 great-grandchildren, and two great-great-grandchildren.

Unexpected connection

ITEM: Jean Easton was a woman I was friends with during the early 1980s. She was described as a “lifelong educator, teaching poetry and writing in universities, schools, prisons, and mental health facilities.” I knew her best from the poetry scene. She was brilliant, passionate, and sometimes intense. “You could recognize her regal, determined gait.” Since I worked at a comic book store then, I sometimes talked about comic books with her daughter, Delia. As one sometimes does, I lost track of them.

It wasn’t until Susan Easton from my church choir died in 2022, and Delia attended the funeral, that I figured out that Sue and Al Easton (d. 2024), whom I met in 2000, were Delia’s grandparents and Jean’s former parents-in-law. Though I hadn’t seen Jean in a very long time, her passing made me sad.

ITEM: My father’s first cousin, Ruth Lewis, is the eldest of his first cousins. In August 2024, I saw her and her daughter, Jean, at a concert where my niece Rebecca Jade sang. Ruth’s son and Jean’s twin brother, John, whom I really didn’t know, died on August 19. The funeral was on Friday, August 29, at Trinity AME Zion in Binghamton, the church I grew up in. My condolences to my Walker family relatives.

ITEM: My friend Carla notified me of Rick Lacey’s passing. I knew and liked him at Binghamton Central High School, where he was in my sister Leslie’s graduating class. 

“You’ll know when you know”

the damn left knee

Several months ago, my ortho doctor noted that I would eventually need knee replacement surgery since both knees are bone-on-bone. But when should I decide to go under the knife? He said, “You’ll know when you know.”

Well, now I know.

As I’ve mentioned, I tore my left meniscus on a mountain in the autumn of 1994. For a time, I started wearing an elastic knee brace, which was helpful enough that I continued to play racquetball until the local YMCA closed in 2010. I’d wear it periodically after that when I knew I’d be doing extensive walking, such as attending the county fair.

My knees always hurt. the right knee is probably 1.5 on a scale of 10. My left knee is usually at 3, and occasionally 4. 

Sunday, I went to bed extremely early for me, at about 9 p.m. I woke up in extreme pain around 2 a.m. The best way to describe it is that my left knee had a massive cramp. And not a “boy, that’s uncomfortable” thing but an “OMIGOD I’M IN AGONY!!!” thing. It was at least an 8. 

Bracing

When my wife got up, I asked her to get me the elastic knee brace. But I couldn’t move my leg to put it on. I had to pull my leg up by my pajama bottoms to try to steer my leg into the brace. My wife also got me a cane. But getting downstairs required sliding down a step at a time. I used a walker we had to get around the first floor. I didn’t get much done. 

The next day, wearing the brace, I could walk OK in the house. The only challenge was the steps in the house, specifically going down them. There’s a railing for the top two steps, but at the curve, there’s about a meter drop, and then the railing continues. I needed the cane. Going up, I can grab the upper steps at the turn. 

I used the cane when I went outside. Sidewalks can be uneven. Grassy areas I avoid altogether.   

I’m seeing my ortho next week. He’ll probably give me a cortisone shot. I had one a decade or more ago. I had eschewed them subsequently, but I’m leaning into it now. We’ll talk about surgery, which will likely take place in the summer, mostly so that my spouse can take care of her gimpy husband.

So when you see me with the cane, you’ll know why. 

Sunday Stealing: Extraordinary Penpals

Donny Hathaway

extraordinary penpalsHere’s another Sunday Stealing from the League of Extraordinary Penpals

Have you ever written to a celebrity? Did they respond?

I don’t know that I’ve ever written to any celebrity directly except to some comic book creator types who I have gotten to know. I did write to Paul Simon’s label once to complain that the six-minute version of Boy In The Bubble should have been on the expanded version of Graceland, but there’s no reason to think that Paul himself ever read it.

Do you read letters immediately or wait until you are ready to reply?

What are “letters”? Oh yeah, I remember letters. Usually wait, although if I think I’ll let it slip through the cracks, I’ll try to push it up in my queue.

My preferences when it comes to reading

Sufficient light (a growing requirement), probably on the sofa because it’s the only place, other than my office (and I want not even to see the computer, lest I be tempted to check it out), that provides comfort and sufficient illumination. The television must not be on. Music can be, but it should not have words, which is to say mostly classical or jazz.

Invisible pain

What I’m least likely to change my mind about?

Things that are true over time. An example: my wife had some medical issues involving her left leg. She has not been to church in over a month. I recommended that she take her cane to church today. This is because when someone does not appear hurt/injured, others perceive that he or she is better physically than they might be.

I believe this to be true because my wife and I have a friend who has experienced severe pain over time. They have told us that because they don’t LOOK unwell that others believe they are faking or malingering. Having a crutch or sling or wheelchair or visible bandages – and my wife has bandages under her clothes – is a sign that “something is wrong.”

Whether my wife will take the advice, IDK.

 The topics I would get wrong during trivia

Car models, flower varieties, and actors who became famous in the 21st century.

What I’m hopeful about right now?

That my wife will continue to heal

Philosophies I’ve learned/embraced from others

A Unitarian once told me that “we create our own theology,” and I think that’s true. I may believe something uplifting from the Gospel according to Matthew, but I don’t feel obliged to explain some dreadful verses from Leviticus.

What makes home feel like home?

Music and books.

Talents and skills I like to cultivate

Getting around via mass transit, keeping up with political events

More music

What makes my heart race?

Music, for sure. There is music that will make me cry with joy or cry with melancholy. Take one example: Gone Away by Roberta Flack. It really doesn’t get going until the second verse. It’s described here: The late, great Donny Hathaway “lifted that fleeting horn melody from his own ‘I Believe to My Soul’ and used it to anchor the chorus and closing section.” In the right mood, the song can make me weep.

What power means to me

The ability to turn on my computer, my CD player, my cellphone…

One of my comfort hobbies

Playing with my Hess trucks.

Last time I was pleasantly surprised

When my wife started changing her own bandages this week

How was my October 2022?

Busy and exhausted, as noted here and here and here and especially here,  plus another post I haven’t put out yet.

Those who inspire my growth

Almost anyone who has a rational point of view. Of course, I get to define what I think is rational.

August health report: root canal

I was pretty uncomfortable, living on antibiotics and extra-strength pain relievers, which provided only a modicum of actual relief.

On Wednesday, August 16, I had a scheduled appointment with my dentist first thing in the morning to fix a chipped tooth. But a couple nights earlier, I started to experience severe pain elsewhere, in tooth 19, for those of you keeping score.

So my dentist called an audible and had X-rays done. He saw nothing. I mean, he saw the tooth, but he couldn’t see anything wrong. So his office set me up to see an endodontist at 2:40 p.m. to fix it, find more info here.

At 12:20 p.m., I got a call from the orthodontist’s office office asking if I could come in earlier, say 1:10. And I could have caught a 12:25 bus and gotten there. But I said “no” because I wanted to finish the reference question I started, and instead kept the original appointment.

Unfortunately, they were running late. While there was time to take the pictures of my tooth, with much more detail – think an MRI, though that’s technically incorrect – there wasn’t time to do the necessary root canal. And the next opening wasn’t until August 31.

So I was pretty uncomfortable, living on antibiotics and extra-strength pain relievers, which provided only a modicum of actual relief. I muddled through work and a five-day vacation in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachusetts.

What I discovered is that some food was OK – the obvious soft foods such as apple sauce and eggs. Cheese and sliced tomatoes were OK, if I ate them on the other side of my mouth. But some foods, such as broccoli and lettuce and raisin bran had the annoying habit of drifting to the wrong side of the mouth. MISERY!

Finally, the day of the procedure came. It’s not nearly as painful as it apparently was a generation ago. And while I was tired afterwards, and the mouth was sore from the manipulation, pain from the infection went away almost instantly. I still need to go back to my primary dentist to get the tooth capped. Visit this site https://dugasdental.com/ if you have dental problems.

I’ll admit I now regret my customer service orientation at work that, as it turned out, cost me two weeks of unnecessary pain.

Lateral Epicondylitis and other ailments

tennis elbow.2915397_cios-2-173-g001Wednesday morning, 3 a.m. – that’s a Simon & Garfunkel song and album! – I awoke to some excruciating pain near my right elbow. It had been bothering me for over a week, and I had called my primary care physician Tuesday with the symptoms, which included prickly pain radiating from the elbow to the fingertips. My doc says it’s probably tennis elbow, ironic because I no longer play any racquet sport.

Apply ice, take pain meds, call the ortho guy (no appointment until August 4!) But the pain exhausted me, so I stayed home from work Wednesday. Ah, maybe I’ll catch up on reading or TV or something; or better still, I’ll take a a couple naps instead.

Go to work on Thursday. The wrist brace, secured the LAST time I had this ailment, on the LEFT side, helped some. Per usual, rode the bike to the bus stop. Put the bike on the bus rack gingerly, get on the bus, bus pulls out, I use my swiper card, take two steps. Apparently, they hose down the floors at night, and the right side of the aisle was still wet.

I did a classic banana-peel fall, landing on my coccyx, my back (STILL stiff and sore), my right elbow (oh, stars, that hurt!), and my head. Fortunately, I still had my bike helmet on, because, while it may have facilitated a little neck strain, it kept me from slamming my head on the floor. Not sure that I would have gotten up on my own power had THAT happened.

Ever have a day when you felt a bit crummy, stayed home, then returned to work the following day, only to feel worse?

Ramblin' with Roger
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