I believe this is the end of the Ask Roger Anything questions for this round:
New York Erratic queries:
What have been your best and worst room mates?
Oh, I’ve had a LOT of bad roommates. In New Paltz, NY, I had two guys, both named Mike, who, for some reason, hated each other. I mean, throwing chairs at each other disdain. I ended having to play interlocutor for them.
Any of my roommates who smoked inside; that was a drag. (Pardon the pun.)
I had one roomie who wasn’t bad, but his estranged wife calling at 4 a.m. was no fun.
I was in loco parentis for a 17-year-old when I was 25. THAT was a mistake. And the third roommate was an artist, so when I’d walk into our apartment, I’d get yelled at by people I didn’t even know because it made some nude model in the living room, who I didn’t even know would be there, cold.
Romantic entanglements muddle the question. There have been people who were great in sharing the space, but emotional stuff got in the way. Or conversely, the Wife, who is otherwise great, but puts away my stuff so that, not only I can’t find it, but SHE cannot.
My best roomie was probably my first one in college, Ron, who was tidy without being oppressive, and we left each other’s stuff alone.
When someone has a pooey spouse or SO, what do you do? Butt in, say nothing, or some other option? Why?.
Pooey? Really? What does that mean?
Well, it depends on what way they are “pooey” AND how my friend feels about it. Are they just loud, or obnoxious, or have crummy politics? I can overlook that.
If my friend has a jerk for a boyfriend, I’m not going to say anything, unless he/she brings it up. That is unless I believe the friend is in danger of being harmed, or kids in their care might be imperiled.
I’ve actually been in the situation a few times, usually women in relationships with men who were not worthy of their time and energy, though the reverse has also been true. The guys were emotionally abusive, but not physically.
There’s always that tricky line between being helpful, and being patronizing. Adults have the right to make bad decisions unless real damage is possible. And what is “real damage”? One tends to decide this on a case-by-case basis.
Now, I have also been involved when someone was actually abusive and was supportive in getting her away from him.
You wanna give me some examples?
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Arthur inquires:
What ONE thing always pops into you head when you think of your university years?
For some reason, the phrase “your university years” made me wish I had a tweed jacket.
Anyway, it is the college alma mater:
New, New, New Paltz…
New, New, New Paltz…
New Paltz is good enough for me.
I ain’t gonna work and I ain’t gonna study,
Just gonna toke up with my buddy,
New Paltz is good enough for me!!!!!!
OK, it wasn’t the alma mater. In fact, I could not tell you the NAME of the alma mater, if you offered me a million dollars. THIS song, though, was well known on campus in the 1970s, since it was such a druggy school, and, as it turns out, it still is. This news surprised me because the narrative is that the administration was “cleaning up” the school.
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Thanks to all of you who participated!