I’m 55, so “thirty things to know or do by the time you’re 30” intrigued me. Am I a victim of arrested development? Per the Times Union’s Kristi Gustafson; some of these are damn familiar…
To take your hat off while eating.
Well, yeah. But, and this must go back to some archaic time, I thought the rules for men were different from the rules for women, though I never understood why.
To bring a hostess gift.
I never quite understood the point of this. Someone invites you to an event and I’m supposed to bring something? I mean, I have brought bottles of wine to a party, but i don’t think this is what she’s talking about. Now, my WIFE has had us bring hostess gifts. Does that count?
Have a valid passport.
Yes. Expires July 2011, just as I’m planning a trip to Canada. Really. And we’re trying to suss out just what we need for the child.
How to make small talk.
I used to be REALLY good at it. The skill has dissipated.
Your credit score.
Yes, and it’s not bad.
And your blood type.
How to do laundry.
I was single for a LONG time. Yes, I know how, and I still have romantic sentiments towards the laundromat, even though we have a washer and drier at home.
And scramble eggs.
Probably since I was eight.
Your parents’ birthdays.
September 26, November 17.
How to drive a stick shift.
Well, no. I got into a screaming fight – she was doing most of the screaming – the one time someone, in this case my girlfriend at the time, tried to teach me to drive a stick. “YOU’RE BURNING OUT MY CLUTCH!!!” Haven’t even TRIED since.
And order a bottle of wine.
Beyond the red with meat, white with chicken, not so much.
How to set up, and check, bank and credit card balances online.
How to wrap a gift.
Depends on your standards. It’s good enough for me.
Own a suitcase.
Two, actually, not including the ancient one.
Have a local florist, not 1-800 FLOWERS.
How to negotiate.
How to jump a car/change a tire.
Have done both so long ago that I doubt I could do it currently.
Have a retirement plan.
Yes, and it’s taken a bath the last six months.
When to stop drinking.
Trial and error, but yes. Even know the date of my first hangover 6/9/76; went horseback riding that day.
How to file a complaint.
Have done so, with businesses and the state attorney general
How to make a bed – complete with hospital corners.
No. I once had this conversation with one of my sisters who made my bed, “Now doesnn’t that feel better?” No, it doesn’t; it makes me feel claustrophobic. I can kick out hospital corners in a half night of sleeping.
How to play a sport (excelling not required).
How much cologne is too much.
Don’t wear, but I’ve smelled it when others have applied too much.
When you need a dinner reservation.
Yes> I was in Charlotte, NC and I had recommended making reservations on a Saturday night. The folks thought it was unnecessary; it was their town, so I yielded. We ended up bailing on choice #1 (90 minute wait), and finding choices 2-5 to be equally inaccessible. We ended up at Pizza Hut at 9:20 pm.
How to read the bus schedule.
I excel at reading the bus schedule.
To tip the maid in a hotel.
To make exceptions for children, and seniors.
How to apologize.
I really believe so. It does not include “if”.
How to give a good hug.
Actually, I’m very good at this.