30 things to know or do by the time you’re 30

I’m 55, so “thirty things to know or do by the time you’re 30” intrigued me. Am I a victim of arrested development? Per the Times Union’s Kristi Gustafson; some of these are damn familiar…

To take your hat off while eating.
Well, yeah. But, and this must go back to some archaic time, I thought the rules for men were different from the rules for women, though I never understood why.

To bring a hostess gift.
I never quite understood the point of this. Someone invites you to an event and I’m supposed to bring something? I mean, I have brought bottles of wine to a party, but i don’t think this is what she’s talking about. Now, my WIFE has had us bring hostess gifts. Does that count?

Have a valid passport.
Yes. Expires July 2011, just as I’m planning a trip to Canada. Really. And we’re trying to suss out just what we need for the child.

How to make small talk.
I used to be REALLY good at it. The skill has dissipated.

Your credit score.
Yes, and it’s not bad.

And your blood type.
Be positive.

How to do laundry.
I was single for a LONG time. Yes, I know how, and I still have romantic sentiments towards the laundromat, even though we have a washer and drier at home.

And scramble eggs.
Probably since I was eight.

Your parents’ birthdays.
September 26, November 17.

How to drive a stick shift.
Well, no. I got into a screaming fight – she was doing most of the screaming – the one time someone, in this case my girlfriend at the time, tried to teach me to drive a stick. “YOU’RE BURNING OUT MY CLUTCH!!!” Haven’t even TRIED since.

And order a bottle of wine.
Beyond the red with meat, white with chicken, not so much.

How to set up, and check, bank and credit card balances online.
Could. Don’t.

How to wrap a gift.
Depends on your standards. It’s good enough for me.

Own a suitcase.
Two, actually, not including the ancient one.

Have a local florist, not 1-800 FLOWERS.

How to negotiate.
Hate negotiating.

And compromise.
Often compromise.

How to jump a car/change a tire.
Have done both so long ago that I doubt I could do it currently.

Have a retirement plan.
Yes, and it’s taken a bath the last six months.

When to stop drinking.
Trial and error, but yes. Even know the date of my first hangover 6/9/76; went horseback riding that day.

How to file a complaint.
Have done so, with businesses and the state attorney general

How to make a bed – complete with hospital corners.
No. I once had this conversation with one of my sisters who made my bed, “Now doesnn’t that feel better?” No, it doesn’t; it makes me feel claustrophobic. I can kick out hospital corners in a half night of sleeping.

How to play a sport (excelling not required).
Racquetball, yes.

How much cologne is too much.
Don’t wear, but I’ve smelled it when others have applied too much.

When you need a dinner reservation.
Yes> I was in Charlotte, NC and I had recommended making reservations on a Saturday night. The folks thought it was unnecessary; it was their town, so I yielded. We ended up bailing on choice #1 (90 minute wait), and finding choices 2-5 to be equally inaccessible. We ended up at Pizza Hut at 9:20 pm.

How to read the bus schedule.
I excel at reading the bus schedule.

To tip the maid in a hotel.

To make exceptions for children, and seniors.

How to apologize.
I really believe so. It does not include “if”.

How to give a good hug.
Actually, I’m very good at this.


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