F is for Friends

How did we drift apart? There was no schism predicating this. Did I forget to return a call? Did they?

A few weeks ago, Daniel Nester wrote about Ex-Friends, which got me thinking about my own friendships. I can’t think of a current ex-friend, someone who was once my friend but is now my enemy. I did have a good friend in college with whom I had a falling out about a decade later, but we reconnected a couple decades after that, and while we’re not in regular contact, there’s no animosity anymore.

This is not to say that I haven’t lost contact with friends. I was cleaning the attic this summer and came across a Rolodex, which, for you youngsters, is a device on which one hand-printed people’s names, addresses, and phone numbers. There was room for fax numbers too, but cellphones and e-mails weren’t around. I found names of people for whom I had great affection! How did we drift apart? There was no schism predicting this. Did I forget to return a call? Did they? My life or their lives went in other directions, perhaps with children or careers; some still live in the area, but we haven’t talked in years.

Some move away, of course, or I have. But I have two friends from kindergarten who, though they are in New York City and in Austin, Texas, are still among my best friends. Likewise a friend from the first day in college.

Sometimes you rediscover people you knew on Facebook and discover that they are almost exactly like they used to be, which is not exactly a compliment. Whereas others have progressed in their lives in a way consistent with the interests and values they were showing when I first met them; they are worth keeping in touch with.

As I have indicated before, I think it’s possible to have friends on the Internet that you have never met; you know who you are!

Here is the title song of the Beach Boys’ 14th studio album [LISTEN].

ABC Wednesday – Round 13

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

25 thoughts on “F is for Friends”

  1. I have friends that I still see and talk to from the 2nd grade. Most of my good friends are from junior high.

    I actually am a little amazed when people don’t value old friends more than new friends.

    Great post!

  2. Great post! Come to think of it: I have many ex friends, or should I say lost friends? I have no enemies. There are acquaintances, whom I don’t see anymore, some of them I really don’t like.
    Thanks for your long comment on Dick van Dyke. I am also a fan of his. He can play three or more roles in one movie. I have an other song of Mary Poppins for S in which Dick van Dyke features as chimneysweep. But that is in three months.
    I agree with you: there is nobody like Dick van Dyke! Did you also watch “Diagnosis Murder” ?

  3. My oldest friend (in terms of years of friendship) is, as you know, Jason, my co-host on 2Political Podcast. But I’m blessed that I have no enemies. I have many friends who I’ve grown away from, but none that I broke with. Like you, I’m left wondering, “How did we drift apart?” I have no answer. Maybe it’s just the way things are?

  4. I was so disappointed when I hooked up with a best friend after a lot of years.
    No bond there…our lives are so different and I have no desire to be part of hers.
    Its sad but actually Freeing in a way.

  5. This is something I’ve been thinking about today, as I think I’m having a falling out right now with a friend who has been a very big part of my life for the last few years.

  6. I have a BFF from my street in Apalachin and several close Vestal friends, plus a passel of California friends…

    I actually cut off one friend. She left her husband, also a very good friend, home with the kids while she took up with a lunatic down the street. This was in England, where they had moved at her request. Anyway, this loser had once set himself on FIRE when his girlfriend left him.

    The husband has stayed a close friend of ours, but the wife? I told her to get lost, because she destroyed his relationship with his kids, whom HE had home-schooled. REALLY home-schooled. Like taking them to see Stonehenge while they were studying architecture. Never spoke to Witch Woman again… and no regrets, really. How sad is that? A

  7. Nowadays most of my friends are online friends. Some of my faves are the bloggity ones. Rolodex: interesting, hmmn.

  8. Very true about friend from long ago on Facebook, some are contemporary and living life today and some are right where you last saw them mired in the past.
    Even though or perhaps because of the fact that I sell antiques and vintage I choose to move forward and not spend a great deal of time moaning about how awful it is that things have changed on those “remember when” and “you know you are from” sorts of pages.

  9. Delightful video, – I have kept a handful of friends through my whole life and they are very precious to me. There used to be a little verse you wrote in people’s remembrance books, – Make new friends/ but keep the old / one is silver/ the other gold…

  10. I’ve found old friends on t’internet and have interacted anew with them and also I’ve made friends with folk I’ve never known before – one such actually came and visited me last week and now I regard him as what I’d call a “firm friend”.

  11. My best friend and I met when we were 2. Hanging out in our diapers crying in our backyards at one another across another yard. Finally our mother’s got us together and the rest is history.

  12. I have one friend whom I know since 1951 ! From girls we are now grandmas. I have some very good friends here, also dating from at least 15 years or more. Friendship is very important. A friend you choose family you inherit !

  13. You have chosen a fascinating topic for the F day and you have set me thinking too!! I did make contact with a few who are now all widespread in various countries, in every direction!! But Carroll my best friend, through school and college, is a few kilometers away and we still meet.

    My Post Is Here

  14. I have some good friends from when I was a child, some Facebook friends (many from high school), a few really good friends (I’m one of those people who doesn’t have loads of friends, rather a few really good ones), and then some friends who have passed away too young. Your post reminds me of Elton John’s soundtrack Friends, a great album that most people don’t know about. I agree with others, fantastic topic for F!

  15. I’ve linked up with so many long lost friends through facebook and made some really fabulous ones through blogging and online social networking. Great take on the letter F.

  16. I have a cousin in town that I’ve only seen once in 15 years. And YES, I do have people in the blogosphere I definitely consider friends. 🙂

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