Lee and TJ get married

Lee had expressed his desire to get married in the church of which he’s been a member for decades to the person he’s been with for nearly a quarter century.

golden-wedding-rings-3I was going to write about how that in 24 states, or 30, maybe 35 states plus the District of Columbia, same-sex couples can get married. No wait, there’s a stay by the Supreme Court justice in Idaho, or not anymore. I do think that the SCOTUS should just DECIDE this issue once and for all and that there are dangers in dawdling. But the heck with all that.

On Friday, October 10, 2014, for the first time in the 251-year history of my church, a same-gender couple was able to marry there. This was a function not just of the New York State law passed in June 2011, but the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) voting to allow pastors to marry same-sex couples in states where it is legal just this past June.

Lee had spoken at the local presbytery (regional body) meeting this past January, expressing his desire to get married in the church of which he’s been a member for decades to the person he’s been with for nearly a quarter-century. Lee had spent time in the hospital this summer, but he’s better now, so it was an extra special celebration. Both pastors officiated, and the house was quite full, with family, friends, and many members of the congregation.

The Wife noted that it was difficult to find a greeting card appropriate for same-gender couples at the local drug store; I totally get that.

The odd thing for me is that the biggest piece of conversation at the reception, besides the happy couple, was the fact that I wore a TIE with my bright red shirt. There are people there who’ve known me for a decade who’d never seen me wear one. Don’t get used to it, people; it was a very special occasion.

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

3 thoughts on “Lee and TJ get married”

  1. Roger, may love and light greet your friends as they start married life.

    Many Marriage Equality “anti’s” shout that, if same-sex marriage is passed in their states, their home churches will be FORCED to perform weddings. Noth9ing could be further from the truth.

    1. It has always been the purview of each church who gets married there and they have the right to turn down couples. The Episcopal Church would not bless my first marriage, to Riley’s dad, because he was a Jew and we would not promise the whole Sunday School thing.

    2. The UCC is filled with formerly Catholic people who are desiring to be remarried and don’t want to annul their first marriage, thus bastardizing their own children. My husband and I were both “second time arounders,” and we never felt more welcome 16 years ago than in the Congregational Church, United Church of Christ.

    3. Re: #1… why would any self-respecting couple want to have their marriage blessed (a most important day) in a church that doesn’t want them? This is typical of the homophobes, to think that gay couples really want to “rub it in” and also that they think marriage is a stunt, not a serious move in life.

    Thanks for this. I am so happy for your Presbytery that they chose to join so many other denominations. In the meantime, many LGBTs marry at the courthouse because they have been shunned for so long… and that’s just another way to secure that “almighty” piece of paper, right? Also, their friends often feel safer/more welcome in the courthouse, which means we have to start making our churches even MORE open to ALL, not just some.

    Love, Amy

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