N is for Nostalgia

Strange, but I found even then that people have a greater recollection of things that I allegedly said and did than I do.

At some level, I’m not a very nostalgic guy. As Billy Joel put it in Keeping the Faith, and I quote, The good old days weren’t always good. It seems as though, in the US, there are dreams of the 1950s being the “good old days”, represented by TV shows such as Ozzie and Harriet or Father Knows Best, with dad out working all day, with mom home raising the kids and wearing pearls when her husband came home for dinner. It was never MY experience.

The 1950s were a period of the cold war paranoia of “duck and cover”, and an unsettling racial climate; I’ve written before how the death of Emmett Till affected me deeply.

And it’s not just the 1950s. I went to my 10th high school reunion back in 1981 and I found it quite disturbing, so annoying, still fighting the same fights that should have been over a decade before. Or lots of conversations about “remember when so-and-so did such-and-such”; well, either the answer is yes, and so what, or no, and so what. It’s like the Springsteen song from Born in the USA, Glory Days:
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
a little of the glory of, well time slips away
and leaves you with nothing mister but
boring stories of glory days.

Strange, but I found even then that people have a greater recollection of things that I allegedly said and did than I do.

Therefore I was quite interested in this story I saw on CBS Sunday Morning last year, Nostalgia: Power of the “Good Old Days”

But you might be surprised to learn that nostalgia – which is all about the past – has a notorious past of its own. For centuries it was considered a disease and a form of depression. Soldiers even feared it as homesickness and thought it could kill them.
I could almost believe that.

But it is not so, apparently. In fact:
Reliving good times can be a critical tool for surviving these bad times.

“If right now everything is terrible and bleak if you’re out of work and you can’t pay your mortgage and you’ve been evicted and you think, ‘there’s nowhere for me to turn,’ it is actually healthy to look to the past and to say, ‘What else have I survived before?'”
(l-r, Carol, Lois, Karen, Roger, Bill)

Now I DID agree to go to my 35th high school reunion a few years ago, but there was only one reason. There were a group of my oldest friends that were going to be there. When I say “oldest”, I mean that we all went to kindergarten together at Daniel Dickinson school in Binghamton, NY, and all graduated together from 12th grade at Binghamton Central High School. The thing about THESE friends is that we had known each other for SO long that we didn’t NEED to rehash old stuff, just needed to catch up on things.

We didn’t say, “Oh remember in second grade when we danced to the Minuet in G?” (I danced with Carol, Bill with Karen, Bernie with Lois.) Well, they do or they don’t and it doesn’t matter. “Do you remember going to Carol’s parents’ summer place in northern Pennsylvania?” Of course they do; no need to ask. There’s a certain shorthand you develop when you’ve known people a long time, even when you haven’t seen them in many years.

Still, I try to be a proponent of Carly Simon’s Anticipation, specifically the last line: “THESE are the good old days.”


ABC Wednesday – Round 7

Doubled up memes

World domination. OK, I jest.

Decided to do TWO Sunday Stealing memes. But I dropped all the questions I’ve answered too recently or the one that just annoyed me.

First, the Players’ Meme:

2. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Go to library school.

3. What’s the worst experience you’ve ever had involving alcohol?

Drinking quite a bit of Polish vodka and feeling totally fine, then it ran out, I drank some Johnny Walker and got instantly sick; I mean, within 2 minutes.

4. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to another person?

Not being very supportive of a friend going through a difficult period.

5. Who do you think started the concept of memes?

Alfred Lord Mememosia, of the Riverside Mememosias.

6. Give a song title or line that describes how you are feeling right now.

“Ain’t gonna study war no more.”

7. What’s your favorite search engine? Yahoo!, Google, Ask, Bing? or something else?

Google, mostly because I’ve used it so often.

8. If Paul is the Cute One and John is the Smart One and George is the Quiet One and Ringo is the Funny One, which Beatle are you?

The enigmatic one.

10. When should you procrastinate – now or later?

I SHOULD later, but I DO now.

11. What is your favorite fast food?

Haven’t had it for a while, but it’s a burger from Wendy’s.

12. What was your favorite game as a child?

As a young child, 500 rummy (cards) and SCRABBLE. Later, pinochle and bid whist (both card games).

13. Why terrible twos have to be terrible?

Children are supposed to test their limits. It’s natural. Though Lydia’s actually started at 18 months, and her twos weren’t all that bad.

14. Describe your favorite family member.

She 4’2″.

15. What does your favorite breakfast consist of?

My FAVORITE would be pancakes, eggs, and sausage.

16. What food is better the day after it was made?

Indian.

17. What was your last big purchase?

No idea. Tell you what the NEXT big purchase will be, though – a roof.

18. When was the last time you kissed someone and really enjoyed it?

Yesterday.

20. Described yourself using two words that rhyme. (i.e. fuddy-duddy)

Loosey-goosey.

21. If you were given the option of a “do-over” in life .. would you take it?

Probably not.

24. When Life Gives You Lemons, What Do You Do With Them?

Suck on them.

25. How different are you in real life as compared to the online identity you have created for yourself?

WYSIWYG. original and Soul Train versions.

26. Do you know what your parents would have named you if you had been born the opposite sex?

No, and I doubt THEY knew. They labored over coming up with my name as it was.

Threesome Meme

1. At what time of your life were you happiest and why?

Our honeymoon in Barbados, because it was our honeymoon. In Barbados. Paid for by someone else.

2. Where and when did you meet the love of your life?

In church.

3. Favourite item of clothing ever or most treasured possession?

I had this Guatemalan work shirt that I loved, which unfortunately got worn out.

4. Must-have makeup or beauty item?

Toothpaste with toothbrush.

5. What do you think is your worst vice or fault .. honestly?

Pastry.

6. Would you tell your friend, if you knew her husband/wife was cheating on her/him?

Probably talk to the spouse first.

7. What ambitions, wishes or desires, for your life, do you still hold close to your heart?

World domination. OK, I jest. Just trying to make it better.

8. Where do you see yourself five years from now?

Quite possibly the same place. On the other hand, I’m almost NEVER right about that question.

9. If you had the choice of any talent with the penalty that you would lose a talent in exchange, what would you want to gain, and what would you be willing to lose?

Being able to type; being able to roll my tongue.

10. Name three things that you do want to be completed in your life before retiring?

House paid off, daughter’s college fund at a substantial level, visit 5 states I’ve never been.

11. Of all of the people out there who would have been your fantasy date? Date, not romance…

Meryl Streep; don’t know WHICH of her characters would show up.

12. Google put another spell on you, you have just changed genders for 48 hours… what are you going to do with your 2 days?

Get a pedicure; I always wanted one. Buy clothes.

13. If you owned your own island, and got to make it your own country, what would you call it? And why?

Rogeria (row-JER-ee-ah).

14. If you rubbed the lamp and got 3 wishes, what would they be?

End war; end hunger; and anyone in public life who tells a deliberate lie, his/her nose would grow like Pinnochio’s.

15. What is your earliest memory of puberty?

Fear; what the heck was THAT?

16. If you got banished to your Island alone and could only bring 5 things, what would they be?

Food, clothing, some sort of shelter (a trailer), computer with connectivity that held lots of music and reading material. Oh, and you; I’d be lonely without you.

Another Comic Book Show

I REALLY need to talk to Fred Hembeck, who I met in 1980. He met my friend Judy, who I’ve known since 1977, recently for the first time, and apparently, I was the subject of conversation.

It’s peculiar; I haven’t sold a comic book in 15 years, and haven’t had to order them as a retailer in over two decades. But I’m still fascinated by the market. Well, maybe it’s not fascination as much as horror. In my day, there were actually competitors in direct market comic distribution. Now, evidently, it’s either Diamond or nothing. I mean, there are other ways of getting comics, the way bookstores and newsstands get them, e.g., but these, I gather, may not be comparable for a variety of reasons, which someone who actually knows can address.

I do know that I’m glad I am not a retailer anymore. I read things such as this from ADD, and I get flashbacks:

“Diamond offers its clients (comic book stores) the option to receive their comics for Wednesday sale on Tuesday [for an extra fee, if I understand correctly], actually giving beleaguered owners and staff a chance to stock the shelves each week on Tuesday night, after the store is closed, so as to avoid dodging slavering fanboys desperate for their Wednesday fix. Seriously, there’s nothing that points out the embarrassing nature of the direct market than retailers being forced to stock the shelves while the store is open and customers are (im-)patiently waiting for what they just gotta have.”

And I don’t buy a lot of products; what I do buy tends to be compilations of old stuff that I used to own.

Yet I’m planning to go to the next Albany Comic Con on Sunday, October 24th at the Holiday Inn on Wolf Rd. in Albany, NY. The thing runs from 10 am to 4 pm, but I probably won’t get there until 1. And I go only because there are people I just love to see. Joe Sinnott is a sweetheart of a guy. Joe Staton who signed some Archie booklet for my daughter is terrific. But mostly it’s to see my buds Fred Hembeck, John Hebert, and Bill Anderson. Also, friend Rocco and perhaps the aforementioned ADD will be there.

I REALLY need to talk to Fred, who I met in 1980. He met my friend Judy, who I’ve known since 1977, recently for the first time, and apparently, I was the subject of conversation. What WERE they saying about me? Two odd things about this: Judy used to live on State Street in Albany, just a couple blocks from FantaCo, where Fred was known to hang out, and 2) Judy has known Fred’s wife Lynn Moss for a number of years.

Snyder v. Phelps QUESTIONS

The Westboro Baptist Church is a fundamentalist Christian church that contends that God kills soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan as punishment for America’s tolerance of homosexuality and for the presence of gays in the U.S. military. When Fred Phelps and his band came to Albany, NY a couple years ago, protesting across from the high school, for reasons that were unclear to me, I gladly joined the counterdemonstration. “Despicable” is possibly the kindest word I could use for him.

“Albert Snyder’s son, Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder, was a U.S. Marine who was killed on March 3, 2006, during active service in Iraq. His body was returned to the United States, and his family held a funeral for him on March 10, 2006, in Westminster, Maryland.

“Westboro Baptist Church pastor and founder Fred Phelps and members of his congregation picketed Matthew’s funeral, holding signs expressing anti-gay, anti-American, and anti-Catholic slogans…”

Fred Phelps

Synder sued Phelps and his church in 2006, and won in 2007, but, on September 24, 2008, “The Fourth Circuit issued an opinion reversing the judgment of the district court and vacating the jury award. The appellate court found the Phelps’ speech (both website and picketing) protected by the First Amendment.”

Now the case is in the US Supreme Court. The question is: Does the First Amendment protect protesters at a funeral from liability for intentionally inflicting emotional distress on the family of the deceased?

So my questions are these:
1. How should the high court rule?
2. How WILL the high court rule?

Frankly, my answer is that the Court may decide this case on very narrow grounds, ducking the greater issue. Making the case for emotional distress – which no doubt Mr. Snyder experienced – did not happen because he saw the protest at the funeral. Phelps was required to stay a distance away, and he complied. The funeral route was altered to avoid the Westboro folks. Mr. Snyder saw the reports of the protest on television only after the fact.

Perhaps it’ll be 4-4 on the broad issue, and that the deciding vote, ruling on the narrow specifics of this case, will end up being a Phelps victory. I’m a big First Amendment fan, but I won’t be celebrating, though I’m afraid it may be the right thing Constitutionally. In fact, this TIME magazine article makes me think it’ll be more like 8-1 or 7-2 in favor of Phelps.

My Water Use Pet Peeves

The optimal thing for the consumer would be for pharmacies to take back expired medicines, lest they get into the hand of unintended users, but this not happening on a large scale.

Today is one of those Blog Action Day things, which I do or do not, depending on whether I actually have something to say. Regarding water, one of their bullet points is this:

The average American uses 159 gallons of water every day – more than 15 times the average person in the developing world.
From showering and washing our hands to watering our lawns and washing our cars, Americans use a lot of water. To put things into perspective, the average five-minute shower will use about 10 gallons of water. Now imagine using that same amount to bathe, wash your clothes, cook your meals and quench your thirst.

Pet peeve #1 is that damn American obsession with the lawn. The sprinklers, on in the middle of a hot summer day, when they are least efficient, and about 30% of the water ends up on the sidewalk rather than the grass.

Pet peeve #2 involves flushing prescription medicines down the toilet or pouring them down the drain, where they end up in the municipal water supply. There are still drug companies who recommend this method on their packaging. The optimal thing for the consumer would be for pharmacies to take back expired medicines, lest they get into the hand of unintended users, but this not happening on a large scale. Seems to me that the best way to dispose of them, between any local collections – the Albany College of Pharmacy conducted one recently – is to dissolve, if possible, any excess pills in water, then put them in non-consumable items, such as coffee grounds or kitty litter. But I don’t drink coffee and don’t have a cat, so I’ve just tossed them in the trash. Do you have any better suggestions?

The Beach Boys- Cool Cool Water
The Beach Boys -Don’t Go Near The Water
The last song on Sunflower, followed by the first song on Surf’s Up.

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