Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

The Old Cowboy in Church

The preacher approached the cowboy and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”

One of those things someone e-mailed me that I actually agree with. I’ve visited a few of them when I first went church shopping.


One Sunday morning, an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt, and boots that were worn and ragged. In his hand, he carried a worn-out old hat and an equally worn, dog-eared Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed in expensive clothes and fine jewelry. As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled by his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship in church.” The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the cowboy and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”

“I did,” replied the old cowboy.

“And what was his reply?” asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that he didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said he’d never been in this church.”

How would Jesus vote?

The lens popped out of my glasses yesterday, and the little screw got lost. So if you see me walking around with my prescription sunglasses today, even when it’s not that sunny out, you’ll know why…

 

The 34 Hour Day QUESTION

Have you discovered a breach in the time-space continuum?

 

I came across this article that referenced “the experts” providing guidelines of how much time you should spend doing different tasks. The total is 34 hours a day, give or take. USA Today did a report some time ago that put the number as 42 hours a day.

So the question must be:
What items on your own list tend to fall by the wayside?
or
How the heck do you do it all? Have you discovered a breach in the time-space continuum?

For me, I should clean more, but the weekly routine is enough of a drag. Definitely would exercise more. And reading sometimes gets the short shrift.
***
It was 93 degrees F (34C) in our attic last night at 9 pm. It’s officially too darn hot.

New vending machines – oh, bliss?

I was leaving the lunchroom, when four or five folks from my floor were oooing and aaahing before they used the vending machines.

I’ve complained about boring old Corporate (frickin’) Woods. Be assured I’m not the only one who feels that way. How else can I explain the excitement, nay, the GLEE of getting new vending machines?

We had had a traditional candy/cookie machine, plus a Coke machine and a Pepsi machine. But the new ones take credit and debit cards, and all sorts of other cashless forms of payment, most of which I don’t quite understand, as well as $1 to $20 bills.

Now this, I know, is not extraordinary. Although I’ve not seen many of these in the area, I know they’ve been all over the world years ago. Still, to think that any kind of innovation came to Corporate (frickin’) Wood astonishes.

And it’s not just me. I was leaving the lunchroom when four or five folks from my floor were ooohing and aaahing before they used the machines. Maybe it’s because the old machines were so terrible, constantly stealing money. The bill acceptor on the Coke machine was particular ornery.

One of my floormates suggested that they were cliched state workers, easily excited by just about anything. No, I think that the place physically is so soul-crushing that any sense of consideration, or cleverness, or progress is meet with near delirium.

But, only a month or so later, we noticed that the new vending machines had their own quirks. One simply wouldn’t accept quarters. The service people were slow to refill the machines, which was visually more obvious than before. Included in the lack of replenishment, change, specifically dimes. One time I put in two $1 bills for a $1.25 item. I hear the sound “phst” seven times for seven dimes that failed to drop, then an actual nickel. It took me weeks to get my 70 cents back.

As Townsend might have said, “met the new vending machines, same as the old vending machines.”
***
Of course, this is one of those buildings where you have to have those stinkin’ badges to get into the building, and then onto our floor. The building is filled with those signs not to allow tailgating. By this, they mean to allow someone else into the building or on the floor. This is violated regularly, fortunately, because I’m often misplacing the floor badge.

As for the building badge, I had put it on my key chain. In a matter of only a few months, the key chain wore off the magnetic stripe of the card, forcing me to order another one. This does not appear to have happened to anyone else; I’m rather special in that way.

Past perfect: Gore Vidal, Mike Doonesbury and the Olympics

Once upon a time, I was an avid Olympic watcher, but all the dustups this year has vaguely soured me on it all.

 

I haven’t been reading the comic strip Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau as regularly as I once did, 40, 25, even 10 years ago. I own three hefty early volumes of collected strips which I used to reread frequently. However, I’ve never cottoned to it appearing on the op-ed page of my local newspaper. So I managed to miss the great announcement in Sunday’s paper, by the nominal lead character, Michael Doonesbury, that he was handing over the reins of his daughter Alex (July 29); immediately, Alex has talked about the changes she’ll be making in the strip. The focus of the series has been more on her and her new husband Leo – check out the wedding sequence, from June 11 to 23 – than the previous generation for a couple of years now. I should note that I think the daily strips are greatly enhanced by color, and I should just remember to read it online, even if it’s a day later.

When I heard that writer Gore Vidal had died, I flashed back, not to anything he wrote, though I’m sure I read some of his essays. Rather, I remember these series of vigorous debates between him, presumably on the left politically, and William F. Buckley on the right, e.g., doing commentary at the 1968 Democratic convention. These discussions, often on the Dick Cavett Show, which aired against The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and therefore under-watched, were almost always lively, occasionally nasty affairs, but amazingly entertaining television. Go to YouTube and search for Gore Vidal William Buckley.

Once upon a time, I was an avid Olympic watcher, but all the dustups this year have vaguely soured me on it all. There’s whatever Mitt Romney said about preparedness, which was similar to what the British media had said; it’s DIFFERENT when THEY say it, rather than a foreigner on their soil pronouncing it. At least, the US opening ceremony garb that was Made in China got Democrats and Republicans to agree on something. NBC’s tape-delay, and their handling of those who don’t keep in line, not to mention its somewhat jingoistic coverage, starting with the opening ceremony coverage, was annoying; How an American Can Stream the BBC’s Official Olympics Coverage and Overcome #NBCFail. Note also the controversies once the competition actually began, which happen regularly, but seem somehow magnified by so much instant media.

I HAVE caught random events- England v Canada women’s basketball when I was at the barbershop; a couple of swimming events – but I haven’t sat down with the intention of watching.

Second picture from @tompsk.

Getting rid of ABC News’ Brian Ross, for starters

In a three-minute span last week, anchor Diane Sawyer made two errors.

I’m forever fascinated by the news media, and how often they get it wrong. Anyone who has appeared in the newspaper will tell you that; “that’s not what I meant.” Often it’s breaking news they botch, such as CNN and FOX News reporting of when it was declaring that the Supreme Court had killed “Obamacare”

But it was some hours after the Aurora, Colorado shootings when ABC News’ Brian Ross, interrupting the news anchor, speculated that the shooter may have been a member of a local tea party chapter. Ah, his investigation seems to be that he Googled James Holmes and Aurora and found A James Holmes in Aurora, who is unrelated. The network issued a public apology. This was hardly the first of Ross’ premature reporting.

Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart totally lambasted Ross (at 5:00 in), and rightly so. Regret the Error explains the network’s mealy apology, while at the same time, making me suspicious of another detail of the story. “The network had reported that Holmes’ mother said ‘you have the right person’ when it contacted her to ask if her son was the shooter. She has since said she was referring to herself to let the reporter know she was Holmes’ mother.” I tend to believe Holmes’ mother’s version.

Ross, however, is hardly the only sloppy newsperson at ABC News. In a three-minute span last week, anchor Diane Sawyer made two errors. First, she noted that the British had 9,500 soldiers in Afghanistan, but 18,200 at the Olympics, which is “MORE than twice as many;” not when I went to school. Then she referred to late actor Sherman Hemsley as “Helmsley.” Forgivable mistake, perhaps, but when the reporter on the piece REPEATEDLY announces his name correctly, you’d think she’d fix it. Or, if she didn’t notice, that SOMEONE would whisper into her headphone about her miscue.

It wasn’t that long ago that the late Peter Jennings, who died in 2005, was anchoring ABC’s evening news. Those types of errors likely wouldn’t have taken place, and if they had, heads would have rolled. I’m reminded once again why I gave up my ABC News habit.

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