Overanalyzing my good deeds

give blood

One of my many failings is overanalyzing my good deeds. I seem to have this bizarre need to check out my motivation.

I’m pretty sure I mentioned this one before. I’m at the CVS at 613 New Scotland in Albany. As is too often the case, there is only self-checkout easily available, and only one of the two machines was working. The person in front of me had too little money, and in change, to buy whatever it was they wanted.

After their repeated failed attempt, I said, “May I pay for that?” And I did. It was a huge $6.78. But was I doing that to be nice or so I could finish my transaction? Of course, the rational brain, “Can’t it be both?” The rational brain doesn’t always rule.

The last Friday in June, I had an appointment to donate blood at the Albany Public Library, Washington Avenue branch. Of course, I recall that made my first blood donation in 1971(!) so I could get out of work for an hour. The fact that I’ve now donated 178 times doesn’t get as much traction in the psyche. Or that I have donated 100 “points”, whatever that means, back to the American Red Cross.

BTW, only two folks donated including me when the staff said they had to shut down because one of their workers became ill. I put that fact on Facebook. But later, I discovered that they managed to call in someone and it was restarted. I hate giving out bad information.

Free ice cream!

After the library, I went to Stewart’s to get milk and a free pint of strawberry ice cream the Red Cross gave me for donating. Some rewards, such as T-shirts and ice cream, I will accept.

On to the Price Chopper to buy bananas and Bisquik. The woman in line ahead of me was having some complicated transaction with her EBT (food stamps) card. By the end, she was going to void the sale. I said, “May I buy this?” It was two containers of apple juice for her inarguably cute child with her. And it was only $3.13. After the woman thanked me and left, the cashier said, “You did a good thing today.” Somehow, I found that disconcerting. I don’t mind doing nice things, but I’m oddly uncomfortable with someone pointing it out, especially such a minimal deed.  I like to do my good works in secret, I guess.

Unrelated to good deeds, but at APL Washington Avenue, two people took an extraordinarily long time using the bathrooms. I made some passing comments to the others waiting.

Finally,  I got my chance. When I exited, one of the people still in the queue said, “Do you always talk to yourself?” Ah. I thought we were having one of those collective momentary experiences. My bad. I replied, “Why yes, I do. I find myself utterly fascinating.” That was untrue but I was so taken aback, it was the first thing that came to mind.

Movie review: Ghostlight

Mallen Kupferer

My wife and I saw the movie Ghostlight at the Spectrum Theatre during a Saturday matinee. It’s an excellent film. The New York Times describes the title. “‘Ghostlight’ [is] named for the single bulb often left burning in a theater when all the rest of the lights are shut off, keeping it from total darkness. If that sounds like a metaphor, it is.” This is not to be confused with a 2018 movie with, unfortunately, the same name.

But I’m concerned that the viewer won’t give it a chance, particularly if they are watching it on a streaming service. From the  RogerEbert.com three-and-a-half-star review:  “Some viewers will be irritated by one of the qualities I found most intriguing about ‘Ghostlight’: you don’t really know what this family’s ‘deal’ is, so to speak, until fairly deep in the film.”  This is true.

In other words, it’s an “onion” movie, where you must peel off the layers. The payoff, however, is gripping and moving, and quite worthwhile.

The father, Dan (Keith Kupferer), is a construction worker, impatient and occasionally volcanic. His wife Sharon (Tara Mullen) is stoic, trying to keep the family together. Their daughter Daisy (Katherine Mallen Kupferer) is an intelligent, but belligerent teenager.

Dan meets Rita (Dolly De Leon), an actor in a very much ragtag theatrical troupe, and he’s invited to join in a production of Romeo and Juliet. And theater, much to his amazement, turns out to be what he needs.

Family Affair

The reviews are very positive, 100% with the critics and 97% with the audience. The biggest complaint is that it’s too “on the nose,” but even so, the acting and the direction by Alex Thompson and Kelly O’Sullivan made it all work.

Did I mention the family in the movie is an actual family? Here’s an interview with directors Alex Thompson and Kelly O’Sullivan, as well as another with the directors and actors. 

The soundtrack’s musical choices are interesting, including three songs from Oklahoma that somehow work. I was curious that the movie had subtitles—the script is in English, after all—but occasionally, in scenes involving outdoor traffic, I appreciated them.

Sunday Stealing: My favorites

a Binghamton theme emerges

Smilin' Ed completeThe Sunday Stealing asks about my favorites. I find these difficult because “my favorites” suggest things I do repeatedly.

1. What’s your favorite animal?

Conceptually, it has to be the duck-billed platypus, “a semiaquatic, egg-laying mammal. The platypus is the sole living representative… of its family Ornithorhynchidae and genus Ornithorhynchus.”

I could say cat, although we just lost one of ours. Abstractly, I like golden retrievers because I like OTHER people’s dogs. I’ve never had one, and I’m not planning on getting one.

2. What’s your favorite book?

Oh, gosh. It’s often been the last book I’ve read, including Life Itself by Roger Ebert, Soulville, USA by Rob Bowman, The Heart Of Christianity by Marcus Borg, and How To Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi. So I’ll pick Smilin’ Ed Comics: De Complete collection by Raoul Vezina and Tom Skulan because it brings me back to a certain time (1980s) and place (FantaCo, where I worked then.)

3. What’s your favorite color?

It’s odd. I’ve said greens or blues. But I remember getting a piece of furniture in the late 1990s, a mini-sofa in a Southwestern motif; it had warm colors. It was the first real piece of furniture I ever purchased, but I had to give it away because there was no room for it.

4. What’s your favorite dessert?

Fruit pie (apple, blueberry, cherry) a la mode (with vanilla ice cream)

5. What’s your favorite drink?

Diet Cherry Pepsi, but I can’t drink it too often because it wacks out my sleep pattern.

6. What’s your favorite food?

Things I tend not to eat very often: duck, steak, lamb.

7. What’s your favorite hobby?

Do I have a hobby? I’d say genealogy, but I’ve spent precious little time on it lately.

Cinema

8. What’s your favorite movie?

No clue. It tends to be the last movie I saw that I really liked. Casablanca is a candidate, but I’ve only seen it once. It had been Annie Hall, the Woody Allen movie I’d seen four times, though not this century. It did mirror a couple of aspects of my relationship at the time.

9. What’s your favorite restaurant?

Frank’s is an unassuming ice cream place that also serves decent Italian food.

10. What’s your favorite sandwich?

A spiedie because I’m from Binghamton, and there is no other answer. I had a TERRIBLE one at the New York State Fair in September 2019.

11. What’s your favorite season?

Spring. I’m not fond of heat, cold, or falling leaves.

12. What’s your favorite series?

The Dick Van Dyke Show or The Twilight Zone, both of which have a Binghamton connection. Both Richard Deacon (Mel Cooley) and Rod Serling lived in my hometown for a time.

13. What’s your favorite snack?

Ritz crackers and cheddar cheese

14. What’s your favorite sport to watch?

American football. Last season, I recorded nearly two dozen games, then watched them, fast-forwarding them through the huddles, replays, and commercials. I got through a 60-minute game in about 75 minutes.

15. What’s your favorite thing to have for breakfast?

Pancakes or waffles, fried eggs, sausage, and/or bacon. I don’t EAT that very often, alas.

#1 hits in 1964: yeah, yeah, yeah; baby, baby!

Jeff Barry/Ellie Greenwich

Flo, Mary, Diana

To no one’s surprise, the #1 hits in 1964 featured the most famous pop band in the world, even today. Indeed, I wrote about the Liverpudlian dominance of the US charts on February 9, so I won’t link to either the Beatles’ hits or the Peter and Gordon song attributed to Lennon-McCartney.

Because I have the book Across the Charts: the 1960s, I can quickly see if any of these songs appeared on other charts besides the pop charts. Interestingly, The Beatles never did until Something landed at #17 on the Adult Contemporary charts.

I Want To Hold Your Hand – The Beatles (Capitol), seven weeks at #1, gold record

Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles (Capitol), five weeks at #1, gold record

There! I Said It Again – Bobby Vinton (Epic), four weeks at #1, five weeks at #1 AC. This was the first #1 of 1964.

Baby Love – the Supremes (Motown), four weeks at #1, three weeks at #1 RB, gold record. It is one of three Supremes songs, all written by Holland-Dozier-Holland.

Oh, Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison (Monument), three weeks at #1, gold record. Orbison went to England in 1963 and toured with The Beatles. This is the last song on the soundtrack for some Julia Roberts/Richard Gere flick.

The House of the Rising Sun – the Animals (MGM), three weeks at #1

Chapel of Love – the Dixie Cups (Red Bird), three weeks at #1. Composed by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, and Phil Spector

I Feel Fine – The Beatles (Capitol), three weeks at #1, gold record

She Loves You – The Beatles (Swan), two weeks at #1. As noted, its original failure in 1963 helped propel it when Beatlemania struck in 1964.

My favorite compilation album

I Get Around – the Beach Boys (Capitol), two weeks at #1; a gold record. The first song of theirs I owned is from a bizarre album called Big Hits From England & U.S.A., which I picked up from the Capitol Record Club. It was also when I first owned Can’t Buy Me Love; I had not yet purchased the A Hard Day’s Night soundtrack (United Artists) because it was too similar to the Capitol album Something New. It’s also how I got Peter and Gordon’s World Without Love.

Come See About Me – the Supremes (Motown), two weeks at #1, two weeks at #2 RB. 

Where Did Our Love Go – the Supremes (Motown), two weeks at #1, ditto on the RB charts. Their first #1. 

Do Wah Diddy Diddy – Manfred Mann (Ascot), two weeks at #1. Written by the legendary Barry and Greenwich

My Guy – Mary Wells (Motown), two weeks at #1, seven weeks at #1 RB. Smokey Robinson wrote this and the Temptations’ 1965 #1, My Girl.  

A Hard Day’s Night – The Beatles (Capitol), two weeks at #1, gold record. I never saw this movie until after Let It Be came out, and I saw all four films, including Help and Yellow Submarine, in one sitting.

Rag Doll – the 4 Seasons (Phillips), two weeks at #1, gold record.

A single week at #1

Hello, Dolly – Louis Armstrong (Kapp), nine weeks at #1 AC. The artist that broke The Beatles’ stranglehold on #1 in the charts. Written by Jerry Herman.

Mr. Lonely – Bobby Vinton (Epic). Also #3 AC. He had a #1 in January and this in December; I do not recall either.

Everybody Loves Somebody – Dean Martin (Reprise), eight weeks at #1 AC, gold record. Every time I hear this song, I feel a little inebriated.  

A World Without Love – Peter and Gordon (Capitol)

Ringo – Lorne Greene (RCA Victor), six weeks at #1 AC. A spoken word piece by the star of the NBC western series Bonanza that apparently had nothing to do with Richard Starkey.

Love Me Do – The Beatles (Tollie)

Leader Of The Pack – the Shangra-las (Red Bird), #8 RB. It was written by Barry, Greenwich, and Shadow Morton.

Midnight Green (1/22/2013-6/29/2024)

my cat, I suppose

Here are the last weeks of Midnight Green.  After I posted that Midnight wasn’t eating very well, some folks suggested we take him to the veterinarian. Easier said… We had taken him to the vet in September 2023, and they determined that he was “Screw-loose crazy,” which we already knew, and he resisted treatment, let’s say.

Still, we kept changing his diet giving him sundry food items that we had never given him before in hopes that something would strike his fancy.

Midnight liked to go into the bathtub and hang out there. Occasionally one of us would turn on the spigot and he seemed to enjoy getting himself wet, which was very unusual for him from his past. He liked drinking the water from there, even though he had full bowls of water downstairs.

He had this weird tendency to stick his paws into the bowl and knock them over. Moreover, his paws were almost always caked with cat litter which would get into the bowl, so we had to change his water three or four times a day.

Testing

Ultimately, my wife and daughter took him to the veterinarian again in late June 2023. They noted that he still had that personality, though now physically weaker. After a series of tests  – expensive ones, I might add -they relayed that he had three major problems. One was that he was anemic. Another was that he was diabetic, with a glucose level twice what the maximum ought to have been. The third was that he had pancreatitis, possibly cancerous. The family talked and determined that there was no need to pursue any further treatments and would probably have him go to the vet to be put to sleep.

On Friday night, my daughter and I talked about death and experiences that I had had dealing with the passing of cats and family members. We discussed the fact that people can say really stupid things when people or animals die which are not particularly useful, such as “It’s all for the best.” We’re not feeling that at the moment. The talk seemed to make her feel a little bit better.

Decline

It was painful to watch him get weaker and weaker. On Saturday, I put him on the base of the fireplace. He slipped off and he couldn’t find his way back up. A couple of hours later, I was lying down in bed around noon and my daughter screamed “ROGER!!” with a curdling cry. I knew either she was in grave physical harm or that Midnight had died; it was the latter.

She was crying and she wanted her mother, who was off shopping. When her mother returned, I got a box for him to be in, using up unmatched socks to line the bottom. She and her mother cleaned the cat because his paws and tail were filthy. My daughter petted the cat for a good while she cried.  My wife cried and then my daughter said she wanted me to read a blog post I had written about Midnight in 2021, which I did.

We started a playlist for Midnight, which of course included Midnight At The Oasis by Maria Muldaur and Midnight Train To Georgia by Gladys Knight and The Pips, the latter a song that she has recently purchased. Also, Green Tambourine by the Lemon Pipers, tied to the fact that when Midnight would get crazy and decide to attack me periodically, I had a tambourine on the kitchen counter to fend him off. He did not like the sound of the tambourine or the vacuum cleaner, for that matter.

Aftermath

That night, I fell asleep in the chair in my office. When I woke up, I was really tired but also very sad and I cried about Midnight when I really hadn’t done so before.

We tried to get Stormy to have her bowl where Midnight’s bowl used to be but she wouldn’t have anything to do with that. She kept looking over her shoulder, expecting him to pounce on her or push her out of the way. His place was in the back of the kitchen, while hers was in the front. Moreover, she’s now eating the pate we fed him in the latter months, so her diet may be changing, too.

We’ll miss Midnight, of course. Conversely, guests in our house won’t be terrorized by him. And someone else can feed her when we’re away.

It’s a weird thing. Despite all his strangeness, he seemed to be my cat. He would sit on my lap or he would sit next to me and put his paws on my lap. That was comforting and fine when he liked me, which was about 95% of the time. Until the last week or so, he remained an aggressive food eater. He would invariably get under foot, even running between my legs when I was trying to feed him and I would almost trip over him, occasionally stepping on him despite my attempts not to do so. It was a very challenging thing to try to give him food; he was obsessed with food until he wasn’t.

I’ll miss you, Midnight Green, Middy, That Darn Screw-Loose Cat.

Ramblin' with Roger
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