Roger O Green

Losses and isolation during COVID

drowning

In March, two friends and I discussed “the losses and ISOLATION regarding COVID.” Subsequently, one of them suggested I write a blog post about it.

One friend said he didn’t understand why people weren’t talking about this. I was initially confused by the observation. I had read many articles, such as this one: The COVID-19 pandemic triggers a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide. Or this one: The impact of COVID-19 on mental health cannot be made light of. Both of those were from WHO in 2022.

And here’s a piece from September 2020: “We are six months into COVID-19, and it’s already challenging to imagine a world post-COVID-19. It’s hard to believe it’s only been half a year — it feels like so much longer. I struggle to remember concrete details of life before COVID-19, much less relate to the ones I do recall, like going out in public without worrying about proximity to others and masks.”

Talk

I think that I underestimated my friend’s need to TALK about feelings. I WROTE about my experiences in this blog recently and a few times before that. But, for the most part, I did not have the opportunity to verbalize those sensations.

Fairly early in the pandemic, in October 2020, after I had finished working the Census, I tried to set up a counseling relationship with a therapist. Of course, it was going to be remote. Everything was remote in that timeframe.

For whatever reasons, some technological and some because we didn’t “click,” I abandoned the effort after three sessions. Perhaps if we had a previous relationship, it would have been more successful.

The most interesting and intense part of the conversation with my two friends involved our children. One friend insisted that he and his wife were most impacted as empty nesters. The other friend and I pushed back, noting that watching our children flounder was at least as painful.

I did not use this analogy then, as it is imperfect, like most analogies. But that COVID time for one friend was like drowning. It was like watching your kids drown for the other friend and me.

The sheer intensity of this discussion helped me realize that we as a country will need a lot more accessible mental health capacity than is likely available in the near term.

I recommend that people speak to someone outside their immediate circle on the phone or ZOOM if not in person. It doesn’t have to be a psychologist. However, it cannot be one of those people – I’ve met them – who say things such as, “Suck it up! The pandemic’s over. Move on!” Those folks are less than useless to talk to.

Sunday Stealing: Mantelligence?

ethical zoos

This Sunday Stealing is by someone called Mantelligence. He writes: “Why should everyone want to know random questions to ask that can be found in this post? Because random things to talk about work so well. They throw your audience off-balance in a discussion, often making people give more honest and genuine answers.” Occasionally, that’s true; other times, some of those folks shut down.

1. If You Had The World’s Attention For 30 Seconds, What Would You Say?

I don’t think there’s a thing I could say in 30 seconds that would be that significant. That’s true of most people unless they can change the trajectory of events. Declaring war, e.g.

2. If Your Food Is Bad At A Restaurant, Would You Say Something?

If “bad” means I didn’t enjoy it, then no. One of the recent times my wife and I went out to dinner, we didn’t think the food was all that good and overpriced. However, the host was delightful, and the waitstaff was efficient. Also, my meal was better reheated than as initially served. Weird.

If “bad” means the milk is sour or something unidentifiable in my soup, then yes.

3. What Is In Your Fridge Right Now?

Besides the usual items, leftovers from a different restaurant.

Not a car guy

4. What Are You Freakishly Bad At?

Identifying automobile makes and models. I’m pretty car blind. A good friend picked my wife and me when my wife had several medical procedures last fall. I could only identify the vehicle by the license plate number.

5. Where Do You Not Mind Waiting?

I’m good if I have something to read and preferably a place to sit. The DMV? No problem. Of course, I only go there every eight years to renew my ID.

6. What’s Something You’ve Tried, That You’ll Never, Ever Try Again?

Probably square dancing. I don’t hate it; it’s just that I’m horrible at it. There are steps that I can keep track of when the caller is giving them out. But when they stop… You don’t want me to do-si-do with you.

7. If You Could Dis-Invent One Thing, What Would It Be?

Obviously, war. I’ll go with any assault rifle (AK-47, AR-15, et al.)

8. If You Could Be A Member Of Any TV-Sitcom Family, Which Would It Be?

When I was a kid, it would have been The Dick Van Dyke Show.

9. What Would Be The Best Thing About Not Having A Sense Of Smell?

I’d avoid tobacco odor. I can smell a lit cigarette from ten meters when the wind direction is right.

10. Would You Rather Live (Permanently) In A Roller Coaster Park Or A Zoo?

A zoo, for sure. When I was growing up, zookeepers didn’t seem to know (or care) how to tend to some animals properly. Here’s a piece called Ethical Zoos: How to Determine the Good from the Bad

Tweet and retweet

11. When Scrolling Through Social Media, Do You Prefer Posts From Celebrities Or Your Best Friends?

I don’t care about celebrity musings. This is particularly true on Twitter when some “influencer” was speaking obliquely about… something I had not heard about, assuming that EVERYBODY already knew of it.

(Eventually, I discovered it was about Kid Rock – whose opinion about SO many things has proven tedious – and Travis Tritt boycotting Bud Light. Whatever.)

Also, I likely don’t know most “celebrities” who are under 35.

12. What Makes Someone A Hero?

Mostly, the opportunity to do what’s right when that is difficult to do. Then doing it.

13. What Is The Stupidest Thing You’ve Done Because Someone Dared You To?

A Halloween costume I wore many decades ago.

14. What Is The Stupidest Thing You’ve Done On Your Own Free Will?

I was swimming in the Susquehanna River in Binghamton by myself when I was in high school. I almost drowned.

15. Would You Rather Have Unlimited Sushi For Life Or Unlimited Tacos For Life?

Tacos, assuming they’re soft, and they come with a variety of options.

Wordle songs

Usual is not unusual

Sometimes I consider a word because of a song when I do Wordle. So I call them Wordle songs. Not all of them work. The ones below with the > means the first word is what I thought of, but the word to the right is the answer.

POLKA (3):- My Melody Of Love – Bobby Vinton. My hometown of Binghamton, NY, has a large eastern European population.

WORSE (2): The Trouble With Normal – Bruce Cockburn. “The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.”

SYRUP (3): Dang Me – Roger Miller. “Sugar’s sweet, and so is maple syruple.” (Rhymes with purple.)

ARROW > ARBOR (4) – Poison Arrow – ABC

STAGE (3): Are You Lonesome Tonight – Elvis Presley. “You know someone said that the world’s a stage, and each of us must play a part.” Someone?

SLOOP> SCOLD (5): Sloop Kohn B – Beach Boys

APPLE (3): Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree – the Andrews Sisters

NINTH (4): If Six Was Nine – Jimi Hendrix (this was on Feb 6, 2023)

STEAM> SWEAT: Steam– Peter Gabriel

SWEAT (4): Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) – C&C Music Factory

MAGIC (3): It’s Magic – Pilot. By the way, I’m sad that I hear the damn Ozempic ad song every time the tune runs in my head.

Hinting without hinting

USUAL (3): It’s Not Unusual -Tom Jones. My wife, who was doing the Wordle after I had, was having difficulty. So she asked, “Is it a usual word?” I replied, “It’s not unusual,” which was fun for me.

ENVOY > ENJOY: The Envoy – Warren Zevon

DANCE (5): Do You Wanna Dance – Bobby Freeman

SWING > FISHY (5) – Swing To The Right – Utopia

WORRY (4): Three Little Birds – Bob Marley. “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.”

CONDO (5): Buy Me A Condo – Weird Al Yankovic

HAPPY (6): Happy – Rolling Stones

DRIVE (3): Drive – The Cars and Drive – REM

SPELL (3): I Put A Spell On You – Creedence Clearwater Revival, which I heard before the Screamin’ Jay Hawkins version

DREAM (4) – Dream A Little Dream Of Me – Mass Cass, although it appeared on a Mamas and Papas album

CARRY (4): Carry On – Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young

GROVE (4) – China Grove – Doobie Brothers

DANDY (6) Dandy -Herman’s Hermits. I know it’s a Kinks song, but I heard this first.

BTW, I’ve now played 407 games. I’ve won 405 and lost 2, which shows up as 100%. I’ve got zero ones, 4 twos, 110 threes, 111 fours, 96 fives, and 84 sixes.

There is a dark tune called Wordle by Ahniwa Ferrari. Tom Rosenthal did Drift Along Small World, a song with only five-letter words. Undoubtedly there are others.

Nomenclature

What IS that called?

Nomenclature is “the devising or choosing of names for things, especially in a science or other discipline.” Also, “the term or terms applied to someone or something.” For example, “Customers” was preferred to the original nomenclature “passengers.”

I think a lot about what you call things, groups, and places and how difficult it is to change verbiage, especially when you get older. In the late 1960s, one of grandma Williams’ other grandchildren used to harass her when she referred to “colored” people. The child would say, “What color ARE you?” My grandma would sheepishly say, “Black.”

It’s challenging to change those brain synapses. Grandma Williams also used to call stores by their previous names, which they had not been called for over a decade.

I have become my grandmother. There’s a restaurant in Albany less than a block from where I lived in the mid-1980s. I went there at least six times annually for about five years. It changed ownership and name in 2017. I had been there once before, pre-pandemic. Yet it took me five minutes and a movie mnemonic to summon the new name.

What we call people

Three of my friends have children whose pronouns have changed. At least two of them have periodic trouble remembering, which is understandable. The real issue is how patient the child is with the parent, which sometimes is not so much.

I have an acquaintance of about 40 who changed their name and pronouns. The pronoun was no big deal to me, but the new name? I can’t get it into the brain. But because this person is older, they’ve shown grace in understanding that change is difficult to absorb.

Mental retardation is now an intellectual disability; there are now several preferred terms for people with disabilities. And I try to adhere to all of them, but sometimes, I forget.

The gender-neutral terms in employment, such as flight attendant, police officer, and firefighter, seemed so evident that it gave me almost no difficulty.

Places

Somehow, place changes have been easier for me, perhaps because I don’t use them that often. It was no big deal when Upper Volta became Burkina Faso, or Southern Rhodesia was renamed Zimbabwe. Peking is now Beijing, Bombay is now Mumbai; no prob. Until 2022, I had no idea Kiev should be Kyiv, but the transition wasn’t difficult.

How are you with changes in nomenclature?

April rambling: No irony

Clarence Thomas

The Party of “Family Values” Sees No Irony in Axing Child Labor Protections

In an extraordinary act of political retaliation, Tennessee Republicans expelled two Democratic lawmakers, Reps. Pearson and Jones, from the state Legislature for “breaching decorum” in their role in a protest that called for more gun control after a school shooting in Nashville. This move has occurred twice in the state since the aftermath of the Civil War. Rep. Johnson maintained her seat. Outrageous, even though they were both reinstated,

Related: Education Week’s 2023 School Shooting Tracker. One Nation, under gun violence: America tops 100 mass shootings in 2023. Also, radicalizing against guns

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has reportedly spent decades accepting exorbitant gifts, luxury vacations, and yacht rides from a major GOP power player—none disclosed to the American public. It may be legal, though unethical, bribery. Ought he be impeached?

The djt indictment, annotated

Candace Owens—Friend of Kanye, Power Troll, Parler “Trad Wife” – Owens was the source of a bizarre family debate.

Debunking the myths and dangers of qualified immunity

From 1440: The Maryland attorney general has accused officials of covering up and failing to act in the sexual abuse of at least 600 children in the Archdiocese of Baltimore since the 1940s. The 463-page report named 156 former clergy, deacons, teachers, and other employees and revealed some children were subject to abuse by multiple abusers. Church officials were also accused of silencing victims and dismissing or ignoring abuse claims.

‘Poverty, By America’ shows how the rest of us benefit by keeping others poor

High Unemployment Continues for Young Minority Men

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Solitary Confinement and TANF and Timeshares

A Government Witch Hunt — Masood Haque’s Film Witness. This was a terrible miscarriage of justice in Albany, NY.

‘Hopeless’: Parole denial for 71-year-old Alabama woman with terminal illness highlights ‘tremendous injustice’

MUSIC

Grumpy Trumpy Felon from Jamaica in Queens!- Randy Rainbow

Gordon Lustig‘s Randy Rainbow (You’re Annoying to Me) A PARODY PARODY! and Help Me, Randy (Rainbow)

Prelude in C-sharp minor and The Crag by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Naive Melody (This Must Be The Place) – The Choir & The Chorus

The Place Where Dreams Come True/End Titles from Field of Dreams by James Horner

A World Without Love – Peter Asher ft. Lyle Lovett, 3-14-23 City Winery, NYC

Put on a Happy Face – Dick Van Dyke, from the then-running Broadway show, Bye Bye Birdie

Bits from You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown and Guys and Dolls and Jersey Boys and Grease, and Little Shop Of Horrors, all in Japanese

Find Your People – Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors

Overture to The Mandarin’s Son by Cesar Cui

Coverville 1436: Cover Stories for Poison and Sugar Ray and 1437: The 60th Anniversary of Please Please Me, and 1438: Cover Stories for Pharrell Williams, The Eels, and Vangelis

Tell Me Why -MonaLisa Twins

Oh, Noah– The Jubalaires

Hi Lilli, Hi Lo – Jimmy Durante

Author: Roger