Some Favorite Christmas Moments


This is a card that we sent out, obvious at Christmastime 1982, the last time that we all – Tom, Mitch, me, Raoul, and Rocco (L-R) – worked at FantaCo. Yes, we were TRYING to look mysterious/strange/sinister.

So here’s a lovely Christmas tale from 1991 involving my ex. You all right with that?

Z and I were poor graduate school students. I don’t think we actively decided not to get a tree as much as we failed to get one until it was the week before Christmas, then decided it was pretty much not cost-effective to buy a tree that late.
We took the bus to do some last-minute shopping at Sears when we noticed the retailer was GIVING away trees. OK, for NOTHING, maybe we’ll get one. But how to get it home? Z asked if we should ask the bus driver. I said, “Heck, no. If we ask, he could say ‘no’.” The bus arrives, fortunately with only about six people at 6 p.m. The driver looks askance, but says nothing as I take the tree on the bus. We get off the bus, carry it the three blocks home and had a lovely tree that we decorated that night.

Merry Christmas to all.

Roger’s Quarterly Attempt to Make YOU Do All The Work

OK, pilgrims. Now that it’s the first or second full day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere, I just KNOW there are questions you want me to answer.

For instance, some guy I know wrote: “One leftover query–you can’t videotape? Huh? Splain (in your blog, if you prefer–consider it a request!)”

O.K., Lucy, maybe I miswrote. I CAN use a VCR, though I hardly ever do anymore. What I CAN’T do is take a program that I recorded on the DVR and record THAT to videotape. I need a couple of wire connections, but not sure what; I’ve been told, “It’s EASY!” They have no idea how difficult “EASY” technological things can be for me. This is not a complaint, merely an observation. The result is that I must keep the number of programs on the DVR at a certain limit, lest I run out of room. I’m saying here that running out of room is a GOOD thing, because it limits my TV consumption.

dwvr writes:
“Hey Roger-
Will they still let you be a Christian Blogger if you link to raw PANDA PORN?
Since there were no standards in the first place, other than acknowledging my Christian faith, probably yes. But you never know. If I were to write about, say, manatees, I’d probably be in trouble.

“Do you own any overalls?”
No, but I’m not constitutionally opposed to it.

“Why haven’t you stolen Lefty’s Top Ten List? You’ve stolen several of his other ideas.”
I’d write what Mr. Tosy (I think) said about stealing except I can’t find it, something along the line of “If I’m eating a hamburger, and you come along and want to eat a hamburger, it’s not as though you stole the idea of eating a hamburger, you just wanted a hamburger.” I’m sure I’ve done him (or someone) a grave injustice, but you get the idea.

So, please e-mail me, or leave me queries in the comments section, and I promise to answer all of your thousands of queries. Eventually.
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ADD reminded me of the late Tom Natell’s musings on winter.

You Better Watch Out

One of my pastor indicated this week how much he dislikes the lyrics to Santa Claus Is Coming to Town; it’s that “sees you when you’re sleeping” stuff and he got into what type of God we envision. It was with that thought in mind that I listened to an album put together by some obsessive-compulsive sort (not me) of 24 versions of that very same song! When I played it last year, I discovered that it was surprisingly listenable, not at all monotonous. Actually, this year, I put it in on random play with an equally exhaustive collection of “Little Drummer Boy” renditions. As a straight listen, one can be “pa-rum-rummed” out by LDB, but in the alternating play, it’s not so bad. I’ll tell you what version of “Santa Claus”, though, I HAVE tired of. It’s the one done by the dancing, singing plush toy snowman that one of my in-laws gave to Lydia last month. It’s not a terrible version, as stuffed toys go – it seems to be trying to do Springsteen – but Lydia can play it over and over (and over…)

Generally, though, I didn’t play much Christmas music at home or at work, mostly because my wife CONSTANTLY has the radio tuned at night to some local radio station playing nothing but the seasonal tunes – unless Dominic the Donkey comes on; then she’ll shut it off for three minutes. In fact, I’ve played Christmas music on only a couple occasions so far this season, one being when I received a couple discs in the mail recently – both very good, BTW.

Another occasion was this Sunday past. I had gone to church at the early service to light the Advent candle with Carol and Lydia, then stayed through the second service so that I could sing in the choir – I was churchified. By the time I got home, there was a bunch of my in-laws in the house. Carol said, “Why don’t you play some Christmas music?” So I grabbed the first five CDs in the Christmas section of the collection, put them into the player, and hit random play. The first song to come up was “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”. My father-in-law said, “Are you trying to send a message?” Oy.

Actually, I bought the single of “Grandma” when it first came out – who knew it’d become a perennial? – and the version is different from the one on the CD. When, in the original, Elmo asks “Should we open up her gifts, or send them back?” There’s no “Send them back!!” response. The “Rudolph” coda doesn’t exist in the original, either.

I find that’s true with a number of songs. The Harry Simone Chorale’s version of “Little Drummer Boy” has a last verse which is not so nearly as slow as the now-common recording.

There is this absolutely beautiful song called “The Bells of Christmas” by Julie Andrews, which I still have on a Firestone Christmas LP. I looked for it on iTunes, found it, bought it. I was disappointed, though, that they grafted on almost a full minute of extra instrumentation (from 1:08 to 2:02), which throws off the balance of the song. It’s longer (3:54 vs. about three minutes), but not better. Still, it will appear on the mixed CD I made for my colleagues.

I have a lot of tolerance for Christmas music – I think it’s a function of my parents having the single of the Chipmunks Christmas, which I used to do a fairly great rendition of – but some things do bug me.
* In search of the lost T: It’s Silent Night, not Silen Nigh. And Jesus Christ, not Jesus Cries. (Or maybe He does.)
* EE-yuk. I have this recording of Charlie Pride doing “O, Little Town of Bethlehem”, and he says, Beth-LEE-Hem, rather than a more modulated Beth-leh-hem. Others do it, too, but his is most egregious. Ironically, he also says “tha everlasting light”, instead of “thee everlasting light”.

Oh, and why were my in-laws in town on Sunday? After dinner, we all went to see the Melodies of Christmas at the beautiful Proctor’s Theatre in Schenectady. This is the 27th annual benefit for the Child Cancer Program at Albany Medical Center, sponsored by WRGB-TV, Price Chopper grocery stores, and the folks that make Freihoffer cookies. The program featured Empire State Youth Orchestra and Youth Chorale. Also participating, Professor “Louie” & The Crowmatix, a Woodstock-based band who got those primarily suburban kids to – almost- swing. I must say that, having seen it on TV a number of times, it’s better live. Still we’ll watch it Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. We’ll probably still see the “honey shots” of the high school co-eds that the Channel 6 cameramen seem to concentrate on each year.

Duplicates

I have long had an interest – OK, fascination- with songs with the same title. I’m not talking about cover versions of the same song, but different songs that share the same title. Back in the early 1980s, my favorite radio station (the late Q104)had this feature called the Breakfast Fourplay, in which listeners were asked to contribute four songs with a common theme. One time, I picked four songs all titled “I Need You”, by the Beatles, the Who, America and Joan Armatrading, all of which I owned except the Who. I left off the Paul Carrack song of the same name, which I also own/owned. Ellen, the DJ, seemed to like the choices. Subsequently, I got versions by Eurthymics and Paula Abdul. (I also have the L. Ronstadt/A. Neville song, but that’s a cover of the Carrack song.)

Without looking, I’d guess there would be a number of songs called Gloria. It used to bug me that the songwriters were so unimaginative; now, I’ve reframed and can note how universal it is that certain themes come up.

How would I put together such a list of songs in my collection? Tosy compiled such a list by going to his iPod. But:
1) I don’t own an iPod and
2) I wouldn’t want to miss my LP cuts
Then I thought to use the Billboard book Album Cuts. It’s a pretty useful tool that lists the name of every cut of every album that charted on the Billboard charts from 1955 to 2001. However, for this task, it would have been maddening, for while it would list every song named Angel, it would not indicate which are different songs and which are cover versions. Besides which, it’s 750 pages of six-point type.

Ultimately, I used the index to Top Pop Singles. It’s only 150 pages of much larger type AND it distinguishes between cover versions and differently named songs. This list is hardly complete – undoubtedly, there are album cuts I’ve forgotten.

The / indicates a cover version, NOT that they performed it together.

America-Frank Sinatra; Simon & Garfunkel/Paul Simon/Yes; at least four different West Side Story versions
Angel-Aerosmith; Sarah McLaughlin; Madonna; Jon Secada; Aretha Franklin; Rod Stewart
Another Day-Paul McCartney; Sting
Breakaway- Art Garfunkel; Beach Boys
Call Me-Aretha Franklin; Blondie
Candy Man-Sammy Davis; Roy Orbison
Cherish-Association; Madonna
Chicago-Graham Nash; Frank Sinatra
Crazy-Seal; Patsy Cline [and others]; Aerosmith
Crossroads-Cream [and undoubtedly others]; Tracy Chapman
Dance, Dance, Dance-Beach Boys; Chic
Dance with Me-Orleans; Peter Brown; Drifters
Day by Day-Godspell; Hooters
Do It Again-Beach Boys; Steely Dan
Don’t Be Cruel-Elvis Presley; Bobby Brown
Dreams-Fleetwood Mac; Cranberries
Drive-Cars; R.E.M.
Everlasting Love-Carl Carlton/Gloria Estefan; Howard Jones
Fallen-Elvis Costello; k.d. lang
Fire-Ohio Players; Arthur Brown; Pointer Sisters/Bruce Springsteen; Jimi Hendrix
Friends-Elton John; Bette Midler; Beach Boys
A Girl Like You-Young Rascals; Edwyn Collins
Gloria-Them/Doors; Patti Smith; Laura Branigan; U2. And this doesn’t count classical pieces titled Gloria, of which, undoubtedly, I own a few.
Good Times-Chic; Edie Brickell
Hold On-En Vogue; Santana; Kansas; Rascals; Herman’s Hermits
Holiday-BeeGees; Madonna; Kool & the Gang
Home-Sheryl Crow; Roger Miller
Hot! Hot! Hot!-Buster Poindexter; Cure
How Long-Ace; Pointer Sisters [with parenthetical extra title]
I Love You-Frank Sinatra; Zombies; Sarah McLachlan
I Threw It All Away-Bob Dylan; Elvis Costello
I’m a Man-Spencer Davis Group/Chicago; Yardbirds
I want You-Marvin Gaye; Beatles [with parenthetical extra title]
Jump-Van Halen; Pointer Sisters
Love and Happiness-Al Green; Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris
Lucille-Kenny Rogers; Little Richard/Everly Brothers/Beatles
Magic-Olivia Newton-John; Cars
Memphis-Chuck Berry/Johnny Rivers/Beatles; Joe Jackson
Money-Pink Floyd; Beatles/Barrett Strong
My Baby-Temptations; Pretenders
My Love-Petula Clark; Paul McCartney
One-Three Dog Night; U2/Johnny Cash
Rag Doll-Four Seasons; Aerosmith
Real Love-Doobie Brothers; Beatles
Runaway-Janet Jackson; Corrs; Bonnie Raitt/Del Shannon; Jefferson Starship
Shout-Tears for Fears; Beatles [and a number of others]
Sign Of The Times-Petula Clark; Prince [OK, the Minnesota guy used ‘O’ instead of Of]
Silver and Gold-Neil Young; U2
Stand-R.E.M.; Sly & the Family Stone [with !]
Surrender-Elvis Presley; U2
Temptation-Diana Krall; Elvis Costello
Thank You-Led Zeppelin; Boyz II Men; Sly & the Family Stone [parenthetical addition]
Time-Hootie & the Blowfish; Pozo-Seco Singers
Tunnel of Love-Dire Straits; Bruce Springsteen
Wait-White Lion; Beatles
Why-Annie Lennox; Beatles with Tony Sheridan; Tracy Chapman [with a ?]
Without You-Nilsson; Doobie Brothers; Dixie Chicks; David Bowie
Wild Horses-Rolling Stones; Garth Brooks
Woman-John Lennon; Peter & Gordon
Words-Monkees; BeeGees
You-George Harrison; Marvin Gaye; Bonnie Raitt

This probably WOULD have been easier with an iPod.

Who ARE these people?

Or maybe, as friend Dan might say, What were they thinking? Check out the comments.

Picture taken from here.
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TV Guide managed to take an unnecessary pot shot at my city. In the December 25 cover story about the ubiquitous Rachael Ray: “She began offering a series of classes that promised to teach 30-minute Mediterranean meals. In Albany, where a trip to the mall passes for excitement, the tutorials were a hit.” I could spend time talking about the virtues of Albany, or note that I LOATHE the mall and why, but I’ll just note that it was a cheap shot for no good reason. Feh.
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The 2000 year old calculator.

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