Sunday Stealing: Animal Questions

Ogden Nash

This week’s Sunday Stealing is Animal Questions from WTIT: The Blog.

 

1. If animals could talk, which one do you think would complain the most about their day?

Bee drones. “They don’t do much in the hive as they wait to mate with a queen bee from another colony. That means they are eating resources and taking up space. When the colony starts getting ready for winter, the worker bees, all female, kick the drones out. Sometimes, it’s swift, and I will find their stung dead bodies in the front of the hive.”

 

2. What do you think cats dream about during their epic naps?

An endless supply of food.

 

3. If squirrels organized an Olympics, what events would they have?

A decathlon, perhaps augmented. Surely, they can run, long jump, high jump, jump hurdles…

 

4. Do you think penguins are jealous of birds that can fly?

No, because they feel grounded. After all, they evolved from flighted birds.  Seriously, I worry about penguins because per Smithsonian: “The research suggests that the tuxedo-wearing waddlers might struggle to adapt to and survive the planet’s current rate of global warming.”

 

5. If animals had their own social media, what kind of posts would we see from them?

I’ve been fascinated by the Simon and Garfunkel song At The Zoo, which I wrote about here. It’d be just as annoying as the human variety.

 

6. What would be the title of the autobiography of a lazy house cat?

Caterwauling to Right Living

 

7. If you had to choose an animal to be your personal bodyguard, which one would you pick?
A panther: quick and strong, like the late T’Challa.
Loyal canines
8. Do you think dogs secretly judge us for not being able to sniff out everything they can?

Absolutely not. Dogs have evolved into being people pleasers. They like to be helpful, like Presbyterians.

 

9. If animals could wear clothes, which would have the best fashion sense?

I suppose I should ask someone from the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals or SINA, who require clothing for “any dog, cat, horse or cow that stands higher than 4 inches or longer than 6 inches.”  Racehorses already wear colors, so I’ll go with them. It wouldn’t be penguins or peacocks who are naturally snazzy. On a serious note, when it’s 110F (43.3C), as it was in Phoenix, AZ, for a month straight, it’s dangerous for dog paws. 

 

10. If a group of owls started a band, what would their music style be?

The choices are two. One is obvious: a hootenanny. The other is funk; since a gathering of owls is a parliament, I suggest they would emulate Parliament Funkadelic.

 

11. What do dolphins think when people swim with them?

The serious answer is that the interaction may benefit humans. However, “Dolphins… are wild animals, and human interaction can be detrimental.  Getting into a tank with a dolphin is theoretically no different than getting into a cage with a lion. Dolphins are apex predators and have the capability of killing a shark.”  So, it’s generally a bad idea and unethical, especially when they are in captivity.

 

12. What do you think squirrels gossip about when they chatter to each other in the trees?
The location of food, dogs, and traffic; the site of the Olympic tryouts.
Pink Floyd
13. If elephants played hide-and-seek, where do you think they’d hide?

In plain sight, trying to pretend to be a wall.

 

14. What do you imagine a llama would say if you asked it about the meaning of life?

Llamas have attitude, so they’d probably ask why you bother them with such a silly question.

 

The Lama – Ogden Nash

The one-l lama,
He's a priest.
The two-l llama,
He's a beast.
And I will bet
A silk pajama
There isn't any
Three-l lllama.
15. If you could swap places with any animal for a day, which one would it be, and why?
A cheetah, because being the fastest land animal in the world sounds cool.

Lydster: Stromae

People who “are just working while we are partying.'”

In 2019, I linked to the song Papaoutai by Stromae because my daughter indicated how much she liked it. I had forgotten that she learned about it from her high school French teacher, who thought the students should be immersed in the culture and language. According to Wikipedia, the song, first released in 2013, “went on to chart number 1 in Belgium and France, number 2 in the Netherlands, as well as number 7 in Germany and Switzerland.”

While traveling in the car visiting colleges in November 2021, several of his songs were on her playlist. One was Santé (Cheers), released that year. “When asked during a 2022 interview whether Santé is about workers during the COVID-19 pandemic, he said, ‘No, not exactly.’ Stromae explained that he wrote the song about Rosa, the woman who cleans his house and that the song is about celebrating people who “are just working while we are partying.'”

Another song she liked was Tous les mêmes ([They Are] All the Same) from 2013. “The single became Stromae’s third consecutive number one from Racine carrée in France and Wallonia, while reaching the top five in Flanders and charting in the Netherlands and Switzerland.” Here’s a homework assignment about the song.

My daughter recently indicated that L’enfer (Hell), from 2021,  was one of her favorite songs. It went to #1 in Belgium and France and #2 in Switzerland.

Who IS this person?

“Paul Van Haver (better known by his stage name Stromae) is a Belgian singer-songwriter-composer born in 1985 in Brussels to a Belgian mother and a Rwandan father.

“He and his siblings were raised by their mother, as his father, an architect, was killed during the 1994 Rwandan genocide while visiting his family.”

“Initially, Stromae chose ‘Opsmaestro’ as his stage name but later changed it to “Stromae” (an anagram of “maestro”).

His path to stardom was circuitous. He’s put out an EP and three albums: Cheese (2010), Racine carrée (2013), and Multitude (2022). He’s collaborated with

His All Music bio

Discography from Discogs

His YouTube channel

NPR Tiny Desk Concert from 2022, which you should definitely watch

Health concerns

From the May 9, 2023 Rolling Stone: “Stromae‘s Multitude tour is coming to an end sooner than expected. The singer announced the cancelation of the world tour, which began in February 2022 and was scheduled to extend through December 2023, after an ongoing battle with his health.

“’A few months ago, I felt my health took a bad turn which led me to cancel a few shows in France and then in Europe,’ Stromae wrote in a statement in both English and French. ‘urrounded by my doctors, my family, my friends and my team, I was hoping I would be able to get better quickly in order to resume touring and to meet you again as soon as possible.”

“He added: ‘Unfortunately, I must accept today that the time I need to rest and heal will take longer than expected. It is with my deepest regret that I won’t be able to honour my promise and that I am announcing today the end of the Multitude tour.’

{In April] “Stromae canceled 14 concerts citing his ‘current health state,’ though he expressed optimism that he would be able to return to the tour at the beginning of June. The Multitude tour marked his first since he played 139 shows between 2013 and 2015 in support of his sophomore album Racine Carrée, which proceeded a seven-year break from music and public life.”

Baudrillardian simulacrum

‘simulation’ and ‘the hyperreal’

Katie Walsh of the Tribune News Service wrote a review of Barbie with a fascinating sentence. “Our heroine is molded in the style of Neo of ‘The Matrix,’ or Pee-Wee, from ‘Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure,’ an innocent embarking on a journey outside of their cozy Baudrillardian simulacrum.”

I could guess what simulacrum meant. “An image or representation of someone or something.” “Something that replaces reality with its representation.” A caricature could be a simulacrum.

However, I was woefully unfamiliar with Jean Baudrillard (1929-2007). A University of Houston article notes that he “has been referred to as ‘the high priest of postmodernism.’  Baudrillard’s key ideas include…  ‘simulation’ and ‘the hyperreal.’ The hyperreal is ‘more real than real’: something fake and artificial comes to be more definitive of the real than reality itself.  Examples include high fashion (which is more beautiful than beauty), the news (‘sound bites’ determine outcomes of political contests), and Disneyland. “

A piece from Purdue: “What has happened in postmodern culture is that our society has become so reliant on models and maps that we have lost all contact with the real world that preceded the map. Reality itself has begun merely to imitate the model, which now precedes and determines the real world: ‘The territory no longer precedes the map, nor does it survive it. It is nevertheless the map that precedes the territory—precession of simulacra—that engenders the territory.'”

Do I “get” this?

To the degree that I have grasped some of these concepts, I relate to them. I will watch the 22 minutes of network news, recognizing that it’s not even close to the whole story. Social media can obfuscate as much as, or, usually, more than, enlighten the populace.  

There have been times that I would wander in a place I was unfamiliar with, making random left or right turns in a city, for instance. Sure, I could have gotten a map or, more recently, used GPS. But the discovery made the trip more exciting and fun. My wife did this on a walk through Paris this past May. 

The fear of Artificial Intelligence may be encapsulated by this: “These people could get replaced by digital simulacra of them.”WIRED, 27 July 2023.

You, experts of Baudrillard, are encouraged to clarify these concepts for me further. 

Movie review: Shortcomings

bsed on the graphic novel by Adrian Tomine

In August, my wife and I saw the movie Shortcomings at the Spectrum Theatre in Albany.

It begins strong, watching a re-creation of a pivotal scene from the film Crazy Rich Asians. The conversation about that film was a legitimate point of discussion, including the disdain of CRA by Ben (Justin H. Min), a struggling Asian-American filmmaker and operator of a none-too-successful movie theater.

Ben’s girlfriend, Miko (Ally Maki), is often exasperated by him, usually for good reason. He riffs off his cynical worldview with his friend Alice (Sherry Cola). When Miko goes to New York City for a couple of months, Ben fulfills his predilections, which he had denied, when he meets Autumn (Tavi Gervinson) and then Sasha (Debby Ryan).

The story is based on a 2007 graphic novel I have not read. It was written by Adrian Tomine, who also adapted the screenplay. Actor Randall Park related to the storyline and chose it as his movie directorial debut.

My feeling about the movie is mixed. The theater workers are fun. I was most interested in Alice, who has the most intriguing story arc. Miko is MIA for much of the film, so we don’t see the development.

Meanwhile, Ben is pretty much the same guy until near the end. It’s spot on when he’s more than once told that he’s disliked, not because of his race, but his personality. He’s a tiresome guy who thinks he knows everything, even when he doesn’t. I’ve known people like him IRL, and they, too, are mighty annoying.

Fetish

Yet the film did touch on some critical themes about race, sex, and the fetishism that may exist in that space. I wish it were sharper.

Also, based on the trailer, I thought the movie would be funnier. Because I saw the bits coming, they were much less humorous in the film.

My wife liked it more than I did; she found some revelations surprising. It’s not a terrible movie; perhaps I had overly high expectations.  FWIW, it was reviewed reasonably well, with 83% positive by the critics on Rotten Tomatoes.

One last thing: props to my wife for recognizing Debby Ryan as the title character in Jessie, the 2011-2015 TV series our daughter used to watch.

The fair; the niece; the funeral

A Shade of Jade

In a five-day period last week, I had three medical appointments, went to the county fair, saw my eldest niece sing, and sang at a funeral.

Tues, Aug 15: I went to the dentist for a crown at around 10:20 a.m. This treatment was delayed twice, once by the dentist’s office in March or April because of a dentist leaving the practice.  Then I postponed it because I realized it was five days before going to France, and I would likely have mouth pain.

While waiting in the office – they were running late -I received a phone call from my gastroenterologist’s office, telling me there was an opening for a follow-up appointment today at 3 pm, so I took it.

I hate talking on the phone in public, as it feels rude. So I was speaking so softly that the GI office caller couldn’t hear me.

Because I have had a root canal where the crown is being put on, the novocaine injection didn’t hurt much. I had to remember to only eat on my left side. And by Friday, the pain required OTC pain medicine and Orajel.

I went downtown to the library talk, which was interesting but long, and the subject of its own post.

Among other things, my gastroenterologist’s office took a blood sample. This later revealed that my iron count was fine and good enough to donate blood, but my hemoglobin count was slightly low. More spinach!

After dinner, my wife and I went to the movies, which is its own story.

Le deluge

Wed, Aug 16: It was a lovely morning as my wife and I sat on the porch of a fellow choir member who would be speaking at Gladys’ funeral.

We went to the Altamont Fair, the county fair for Albany, Schenectady, and Greene Counties. It’s free on Wednesdays for seniors like me.

As we approached one Farm Equipment building, it began to rain. Then it began to pour. For about 20 minutes, we stayed in the building, listening to the torrent struck the metal roof. The operators in that building closed three of the four doors because the wind was bringing the water inside.

I’ve been attending events at the Fairground for over 40 years, and never have I seen the infield turned into such a sea of mud. There were six feet wide streams in some parts for a time and even more severe flooding elsewhere. Water got inside some structures. The equestrian events were canceled.

Still, we saw much of the event. I learned how to make lip balm: two parts beeswax to one part coconut oil, and one part shea butter. (BTW, Congrats, Chuck Miller.)

Salt City

Thurs, Aug 17: I went to my podiatrist while my wife had breakfast with former work colleagues.

Then my wife, daughter, and I traveled to Syracuse the attend the final Jazz in the City event. We go to the hotel of the performer, named Rebecca Jade, who I may have mentioned on these pages. We went to eat at the Salt City Market, a marvelous concept of several small food vendors under one roof. After dropping off RJ, we checked into a nearby hotel.

We drove the short distance to the lovely Thornden Park. Jazz in the City is a series of free public health events, so the vendors did blood pressure screenings, gave away COVID tests, dental products, etc. The opening act involved women dancing to funky tunes for their health.

Then Rebecca hit the stage. She was singing with a pickup band (keyboard, guitar, bass, drums, and occasional sax) she had met only the day before. The two 50-minute sets combined cover songs with original songs from her latest album, A Shade of Jade.

It would be perceived as avuncular bias if I were to gush about how good and professional she was. I will note she sold some albums to people who were NOT related to her.

We bought Jazz in the City T-shirts because Rebecca’s name and visage appeared thereon.

Afterward, she, a couple of organizers, and one of the musicians went to the bar of RJ’s hotel for a drink, and Rebecca also ate. One of the folks was taking her back to the airport for her 6:15 a.m. flight to San Diego via Charlotte. (Coincidentally, she’ll perform in the Queen City on September 22.)

Going home

Fri, Aug 18: My family went home. The day before, the eastbound traffic was at a standstill in two locations on the Thruway, but it was smooth traveling this day except for the mouth pain from visiting the dentist three days earlier.

Sat, Aug 19: I went to church to sing at the funeral of Gladys Crowder. There were 30 in the choir; 10 were former choir members who came back, one driving from Auburn, NY, 173 miles (248 km) to be there. Three current choir members had never sung with Gladys, but they were there because that’s just what choir people do. Everyone said the music was great,  and the service was lovely.

Afterward, I talked with folks I knew from Trinity, the former church of Gladys, Tim, my wife, and me, as well as current and former First Pres folk.

My wife and I went home and took naps.

 

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