Library Humor

A couple months ago, someone on a library listserv I’m on (BUSLIB) was looking working for videos of people trying to return a retail product or getting gadgets to work. All sorts of suggestions popped up, some of which are shared here. See what fun-loving folks librarians are? The videos are of varying quality, but some are hysterical. In honor of National Library Week.

Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch Monty Python…Monty Python Hilarious Brilliant

A “Best City” Customer Service Story! “Here is a video I made at my former place of employment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w85dSkbTTSsWe were poking fun of the horrible customer service that is so common with the big box.”

The Answer – Retail Return. “I had to augment the living hell out of it. The on-stage actors were not projecting at all….retail return FFHS FFHStudios whispering”

Retail Hell or a Diffcult Life
Retail work sucks but you can get even! Watch and learn….Retail customers from hell getting even.

Wal-Mart’s Customer Service. For more information, visit www.walmartwatch.com.

Gateway Update – Still No Support . “For three weeks, Gateway is still telling me that they are unwilling to provide me with any customer support or service. BLAH! Still a Grade “F.”

Bad Customer Service #1Very bad customer service

Retail 103: Customer Returns And Exchanges. “NOTE: this one has some foul language so I have a feeling it won’t suffice – but I include it nonetheless.” Not THAT foul…

Funny Dell Customer Service CallA really funny Dell customer service call.

A Comcast Technician Sleeping on my Couch. “This is my tribute to Comcast, their low quality technology and their poor customer service. UPDATE: My service has been restored.”

iPod Customer Service. “the Dirty secret have to watch this… (based on real life experience, no hoax).”

Customer Disservice “Have you ever received really bad customer service?”

How to Get a Customer Service Human. “With a human in customer service can be a godsend, especially after spending hours in ‘automated phone menu’ hell.”

terrible customer service. Make fun of their customers…funny skit.”

Customer Service Training Video

Optimus Maximus Keyboard: Horrible Customer Service. “Read that right. I’ve had it with this company. Their customer service is absolutely horrible.”

Customer Service. “A reenactment of my experience with my DSL provider…Eyeopener Films Home Movies New Customer Service DSL.”

Unboxing – not always on target, but a source.

Expo TV: video reviews of consumer products – “made by real people!” Some are actually positive.

David Pogue’s Song spoofs. Some are over a decade old, but what the hey.

ROG

Redacted Koran QUESTION

A bit ago I wrote about the book The Trouble with Islam Today. As a result, I got a comment from Muslims Against Sharia:

Many people talk about the need to reform Islam. Now you can stop talking and start helping.

With the help of our readers we went through the Koran and removed every verse that we believe did not come from Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate. However, it is possible that we missed something, and we could use your help. If you find verses in the reformed version of the Koran that promote violence, divisiveness, religious or gender superiority, bigotry, or discrimination, please let us know the number of the verse and the reason why it should be removed. Please email your suggestions to koran-AT-reformislam.org.

When we finish editing process, we would like to publish Reform Koran in as many languages as possible. If you could help with translation or distribution of the Reform Koran, please email us at koran-AT-reformislam.org. If you could provide financial support, please visit our support page.

In Memoriam of Aqsa Parvez.

http://www.reformislam.org/reform.php

First off, the murder of Aqsa Parvez was a very disturbing story that I had somehow missed.

Beyond that, though, how does one “know the will of Allah”?

Any thoughts on this? Though, in fact, I suppose most believers pick and choose what part of scripture they accept and what they ignore, don’t they?
ROG

Lost

No, this is not about that popular TV show on ABC that I keep planning to watch sometime, but the DVR’s always 70% full (my news programs and JEOPARDY!, my wife’s ice skating and Dancing with the Stars, our NBC Thursday night and Aliens in America). Maybe I’ll borrow a DVD sometime.

This is about the fact that, 18 days ago, I lost my keys: my house keys, the car key, the key to my nifty lock that keeps my bike from being stolen, and half a dozen others. It also has on it all of those little swiper tags for the YMCA, the CVS pharmacy, the local grocery store, et al. It’s your basic PITA, akin to losing one’s wallet. (If you’re in the area, there’s a 2″ white square with a green handprint on the key chain.) I thought I had perhaps lost them on a CDTA bus, but, alas, no. Then I figured that maybe someone found them and turned them into a police station, but the property unit, who handles such things, said nada as well.

Also, I have this retirement thing through something called TIAA-CREF. Every quarter, both my employer and I contribute a similar amount, based on my income. At this point, the job and I are each contributing about $1000 per quarter. Sometimes it makes money, sometimes it loses, but never before had I lost more than 50% of the total contribution for the period. I was dreading opening the new statement that arrived Wednesday, and rightly so. The fund lost $5000, or the entire contribution PLUS another $3000. My wife’s retirement fund underwent a similar pounding. Brutal.

Someone asked me the other day if we were in a recession. I said that, definitionally, you can’t say until after the fact. In that way, it’s like a tornado, where meteorologists come around, look at the pattern of the wreckage and say, “Yup, it was a tornado.” Since a recession is considered a decline in a country’s real gross domestic product (GDP), or negative real economic growth, for two or more successive quarters of a year, economists won’t be able to say until we’re in a recession now until the summer. I’m more a duck kind of guy; it sure LOOKS like a duck.

Meanwhile, I’m at a loss to know just who might buy this product. Oh, I guess there will be a couple Beach Boys and Beatles fans, but Nirvana?

ROG

A Fun Little Quiz

Copped from Kelly, and, coincidentally, Jaquandor, but they worked off different lists. I started with Kelly’s, then added Jaquandor’s, or, occasionally, not.

1. Go to www.photobucket.com (don’t sign in)
2. Type in your answer to the question in the “search” box
3. Use only the first page
4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.

What is your name?
Roger!!!

What is your Relationship Status?
married

What is your favorite color?
blue

What kind of car do you want?
Don\'t Care

What band/artist are you listening to?
beatles

What is your favorite movie?
Annie Hall

What is your favorite Disney Princess?
toy story 2

What is your favorite TV show?
Photobucket

Where did/do you go to school?
New Paltz

Where is your dream vacation?
PARIS

Name an alcoholic Beverage:
Coke & Rum

What do you want to be when you grow up?
librarian

What is your favorite type of shoe?
chuck taylor

What is your favorite song?
Drive My Car

What is your favorite dessert?
carrot cake

What is your favorite letter?
Qq
What do you love most in life?
Photobucket

What are you most afraid of?
boredom
What annoys you the most? (What, no pictures of “theological arrogance”?)
BAD RELIGION

What’s your favorite animal?
the cats

How old are you?
55

What one word describes you?
Enigmatic

Jello Shots


Tom Lehrer, who turns 80 today, is widely credited with inventing Jello shots; i.e., replacing half the water with distilled liquor.

Oh, yeah, he also did some nifty songs, from Poisoning Pigeons in the Park (1953), which I have on a Dr. Demento album:

To the exquisite Vatican Rag:

To ‘Silent E’ from “the Electric Company:

My suggestion: go to Evanier’s page, type Tom Lehrer in the search mode. 15 of the 16 hits prior to today will be Tom Lehrer videos, and I’d be surprised if there weren’t one or two more to celebrate the occasion. Then go here and check out the lyrics.

Here’s an interview from 2007 from whence I stole the image above. To paraphrase the great Tom Lehrer, “When Mozart was my age, he had been dead for 20 years.”

ROG

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