Sunday Stealing – Food questions

K-E-double L-O-double good

This week’s Sunday Stealing is a bunch of food questions. I’ve eaten food now and then, as I recall.

1. If you were a vegetable, which one would you be, and would you ever let yourself be smothered in cheese?

Obviously, it would be a GREEN vegetable, and it would be spinach. But if it were to have cheese sauce on it, it’d have to be broccoli because.

2. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be, and how long do you think it would take before you got sick of it?

I answered this recently, and I said either pie because there are many different pies (chicken pot, cherry, etc.) or sandwiches. But if I had to narrow it, it’d be eggs. They can be scrambled, fried, poached, hard-boiled, or soft-boiled. I could probably do that for a year unless I could put things INTO the eggs. Then possibly forever.

3. Would you rather have fingers made of licorice or spaghetti noodles for hair?

Ick. Noodles for hair.

4. What’s the most unusual pizza topping combination you can think of that might actually taste surprisingly good?

I want to try Spam, which is a thing in Hawaii.

Hero of our nation

5. If you were an ice cream flavor, what would be your name, and what would the ingredients be?

Ramjet, with fresh blueberries, strawberries, and peaches in a vanilla ice cream base.

6. If you could make a smoothie out of any three foods, which ones would you choose, and what would you name your concoction?

I’m not a smoothie kind of guy.

7. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen someone do with food?

We were playing baseball with heads of lettuce. Or maybe it was cabbage—aluminum bats.

8. If your favorite food could talk, what do you think it would say about you?

You’re finally eating your veggies besides me, Spinach would say.

9. If you were a chef, what outrageous names would you give to your dishes to make them more interesting?

I would go through my bookshelf and pick random titles. String Music of Black Composers, which would be spaghetti and various meat products. The Book of Virtues, which would have to be some veggie thing.

10. If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be, and what food do you think they’d be surprised to see on the menu?

Thomas Jefferson and it would be anything that was microwavable.

11. What’s the weirdest or grossest thing you’ve ever eaten just to impress someone else?

Not my style. I’m not a food dare kind of guy.

The battle for Battle Creek

12. If breakfast cereals were characters in a TV show, which cereal would be the comedic sidekick, and which one would be the evil villain?

Tony the Tiger, who’s great, with the Froot Loops toucan. I know that Snap, Crackle, and Pop are engaged in criminal enterprises. They keep their safecracking tools under those caps. Incidentally, I own a set of the bowls shown above because of course I do.

13. If you could turn one vegetable into a superpower, which one would it be, and what could you do with it?

The vegetable doesn’t matter. Whichever one can transport me like they do on Star Trek. But it’d have to be small enough to carry but large enough not to get lost. A radish? A peapod?

14. What do you think aliens would say about our strange Earth foods if they came to visit?

If they travel to Earth, I assume their food might be reduced to pills or another easily storable commodity. So it is the wide diversity of foods that would awe them. Then they’d become disgusted by how much of that food went to waste and how some people didn’t have enough to eat. Undoubtedly, they would be very judgy.

15. If foods had personalities, which two foods would make the weirdest couple, and why?

The potato would have the personality of the Potato Heads from the Toy Story movies, perhaps a bit stodgy. Meanwhile, if you’ve seen those wind dance air puppets, they remind me of celery. They’re flapping all over the place.

The cats versus the vacuum cleaner

food versus fear

Because Midnight, the black cat, is so food-obsessive, I’ve mused on how to slow him down. If I’m going downstairs, whether to feed him or not, he’ll barrel down the stairs. It’s why I hold on to the railing, lest he knock me over.

And when I’m actually in the process of feeding him, he, more than Stormy the gray cat, seems to be constantly underfoot, no matter in which direction I walk.

I tried an experiment involving the vacuum cleaner. Both Midnight and Stormy are afraid of it. When Midnight starts chewing on the window shades or clawing the furniture or climbing onto the dining room table, I wheel it toward him, and he generally retreats. And usually, I don’t even have to turn it on. Stormy hisses at it; it is not afraid.

I placed the vacuum in the kitchen so that they couldn’t enter the room without passing the appliance, and turned it on. Perhaps I could prepare their meal without distraction. But no such luck.

Apparently, Midnight’s need for sustenance is greater than his fear of the machinery, for he galloped past the red menace. He only gallops when hungry, and he’s been in the basement, attic, or other room, and it’s near or past mealtime.

The intruder

Often, Midnight and Stormy are at odds. But they recognized another enemy. Something clearly was on the front porch. , though I didn’t know what. Midnight was peering around the window treatment, Stormy was scratching at the window.

A couple of summers ago, my wife bought new chairs for our front porch. The first year, they were still like new. But lately, we noticed some hair on one of them recently. Sure enough, I saw a gray cat, a lighter shade than Stormy, resting on the chair on the porch. It left when Stormy repeatedly banged her head against the window, driving the intruder away. They acted in harmony when an external threat was on the horizon.

The black cat next door, who sometimes hangs out on our porch, they are not fans of either. But the gray cat SITTING on our furniture was just too much for them to bear.

Death Cafe and talking to strangers

“how not to be real”

Death CafeBack in 2018, I wrote about a concept called the Death Cafe. Here’s the website

“At a Death Cafe people drink tea, eat cake and discuss death. Our aim is to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their (finite) lives”

Although I only attended a single event in person, I’ve been to about a half dozen sessions remotely. I’ve even facilitated a couple of breakout sessions since one wants no more than 4-6 people in a given virtual room.

The last session organized by the Albany group in may had people from New York City and central Europe. It is one of those rare events that, arguably, might be enhanced by Zoom.

One relays stories, largely to strangers, which is oddly therapeutic. I might tell of some specific disappointment about an absence at a recent funeral. It might be easier to share the story there than in this blog.


I could talk about the tons of food that were brought to my parents’ house after my father died in August 2000. I specifically remember that someone came by at 10:30 pm, my mother looking exhausted from the day.

Conversely, almost no food was brought to my MIL’s house in April 2020 after my FIL died. It wasn’t just different norms between North Carolina and upstate New York, plus the passage of time. There was a pandemic, so the extended family wasn’t at her home. On the other hand, a pair of my wife’s friends brought us some food, delivered appropriately in a socially distanced manner.

Back in 2012, Jaquandor reviewed Making Piece: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Pie by Beth Howard. It’s a lovely reflection, which you should read.

Ken Levine on the sudden death of his friend Arlen Peters: “Order the pie.  You never know.”

My  May 31 post has a few more examples.


One of those food narratives was linked from Arthur’s blog, He’s been writing a LOT about death, bravely and quite insightfully. For instance, he wrote about people being very good actors. “We learn what to say, how not to say things, and how to present ourselves in a way that the people in our lives expect. We learn, in other words, how not to be real.”

Or finding the right words. “I’ve seen many people dealing with profound grief who say that they stop talking about their grief journey because they sense that the people they talk to don’t want to hear about it, or else they’re visibly uncomfortable. In such cases, the grieving person will, essentially, adopt what they see as the socially expected behavior: Silence.”

And there are others.

My point in linking to these is that talking about issues surrounding death doesn’t glorify death. It contextualizes death in this world rather than making it a verboten topic.

If you’re so inclined, check out a Death Cafe. There will be an in-person one (finally) in Albany County very soon.

Death Cafe Flyer June. 30 2021

Nov. rambling: the Opposite of Déjà Vu

The djt library

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This means you’re free to copy and share these comics (but not to sell them).

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An Oral History of Marge vs The Monorail

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Single foster dad adopts five siblings so they won’t be separated

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What is the Opposite of Déjà Vu?

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Food Waste in America in 2020 and Guide to  Food Storage for Healthier Eating


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Commercials starting Alvin and the Chipmunks and David Seville


They learned English — and how to be American — from watching him

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Fordham benefactor

Choose Presence Over Judgment


Contestants’ Most Hated Word:  Preemption

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Winners and Losers

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THE REAGANS Proves Just How Closely Trump Followed an Old GOP Playbook

His top scandals

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A Long Way to Save a Few Quid and The Doctor With a  Vision for Vision and The I’m Not in Washington Defense and How Did the Squirrel Cross the Road? and The Pothole Vigilante


Paula White’s Re-Election Prayer For Donald Trump Ft. Lil KC Remix – WTFBRAHH

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Coverville: 1331: Sometimes They Come Back… and 1332: The Divine Comedy Cover Story and 1333: The Neil Young Cover Story III and  1334: Cover Stories for Graham Parker, Kim Wilde, and Björk

Les Miserables song One Day More

Vaughan Williams: Nation Shall Not Lift Up A Sword Against Nation/Glory To God In The Highest, from Dona Nobis Pacem

Tradicion from Fiddler on the Roof, performed in Panama

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Wendy Carlos doesn’t need THIS biography


Music throwback: Stax food choices

The Astors also spent 2 1/2 months performing on tour with The James Brown Review.

I was listening to one of my Stax-Volt box sets, which I usually do in the summer, in honor of the label’s co-founder Jim Stewart’s birthday. (His sister Estelle Axton ALSO belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, BTW.) I’ve written about Stax before, including its complicated relationship with Atlantic Records.

I noticed that some of the Memphis soul label artists, especially the more obscure ones – we’re not talking Isaac Hayes, Otis Redding, Sam & Dave, Carla Thomas – had tracks with food-related titles.

This is not to say that some of the name artists didn’t ALSO choose a musical culinary route. Booker T and the MG’s had a song about popcorn, e.g. But I picked three songs to highlight, two of which may give you tooth decay.

Candy – The Astors. Composed by Booker T & MG’s guitarist Steve Cropper and Isaac Hayes, this is the only one of the Memphis group’s songs to chart. #12 on the R&B charts, #63 on the pop charts (Billboard) in the summer of 1965.

“As ‘Candy’ moved up the charts, The Astors performed on shows at the Uptown Theater in Philly, the Howard Theater in D.C., The Regal Theater in Chicago, and The Apollo Theater in New York. The other performers on these shows included The O’Jays, The Coasters, Curtis Mayfield and The Impressions, and Redd Foxx to name a few. The Astors also spent 2 1/2 months performing on tour with The James Brown Review.”

Listen HERE or HERE

Sugar, Sugar – The Mad Lads (1966). The song was composed by Alvertis Isbell and Eddie Floyd, the latter a name artist, but, as far as I can tell, the song did not chart. The group is from Detroit.

Listen HERE or HERE

Hot Dog- The Four Shells (March 1966). “A Chicago group recording licensed to Stax, produced by Jerry Butler and Eddie Thomas.” I cannot find any chart action for this either.

Listen HERE or HERE

Despite their relative obscurity, these all sound vaguely familiar, as though they were regionally popular, even if they were not always national hits.

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