texting Archives - Ramblin' with Roger

Reply to My Texts?

can I FIND my cellphone?

In the Social Q’s column of the New York Times for March 18 was a piece titled My Relative Takes Forever to Reply to My Texts. What Can I Do? The subhead: Stung by a family member’s laggardly response times, a reader considers confronting the issue head-on: “Do you make all your friends wait like this?”

I thought it was an absurd question. The response, in part: “Here’s my view, along with a suggestion: Sending texts to people does not obligate them to respond on our timetable. Still, I know that mismatched feelings of closeness can be hurtful in relationships. If that’s your concern here, stop sending idle texts and suggest an activity in real life: a dinner date or a walk in the park. Because it’s shared experiences that make us closer — not keystrokes.”

This reader response, I thought, was the usual rule of thumb: Not all texts are the same. Some require an immediate answer: “Where are you? We were supposed to meet here 10 minutes ago.” Some do not: ” I am having a wonderful day gardening – it’s gorgeous out. (and so on for a full paragraph).” The whole point of texting is that a reply can be quick or not, depending on the circumstances. Let it go.

Another reader comment: My cellphone is for my convenience, not anybody else’s. I’ll get around to texting you back when I deem it sufficiently important. Plus, the older I get, the harder it is to text on that tiny little screen without a zillion typos. Which, again, because I am old, I am compelled to correct before sending. This is definitely true. I hate the physical act of texting, as I tend to hit two keys at once. At least, I’ve (mostly) figured out the jargon.

Generational

This reader comment is dead on: Believe it or not, there are those of us who came of age in the pre-cellphone age for whom texting is not a primary form of communication. We get around to reading and responding to texts when we get to them. I’m 75; I have a landline, and sometimes I don’t check my cellphone (when I can find it) for texts for days on end, which I admit can be a problem at times, but that’s simply the way it is.

Even in my generation, I was not an “early adopter.” We too have a landline, in part so that I can call and FIND my cellphone. I DON’T go days on end, but it might be for hours.

I’ve chosen to treat my cellphone like a regular phone. If I’m involved with something else, including downtime, I don’t answer or respond. I’m in full resistance to the distraction economy.

One of the things I used to do was look at my phone as soon as I got up in the morning in my office upstairs. Then my wife’s charger went on the fritz. So now my wife and I both charge our phones on a device with multiple charger ports that I bought for our 2023 trip to France. It’s downstairs. This is SO much better for my mental health.

There were hundreds more comments, but these hit the spot.

In the comic strip ZITS, there was a two-day stretch on March 25 and 26 about Jeremy, the 15-year-old protagonist, getting upset that his friend Hector wasn’t replying to his texts. It felt about right.

I see my cellphone as a tool, not an extension of myself, to be used at my discretion. But you may have a different relationship with your cellphone.

The broader issue

In the New York Times essay, No Wonder You Can’t Concentrate, Cal Newport addresses my broader concerns. Here’s just one paragraph:

Many of these declines in cognitive skills became notable starting in the mid-2010s, exactly the period when smartphones became ubiquitous and the digital attention economy exploded in size. An increasing amount of research implies that this timing is no coincidence. A meta-analysis released last fall showed that consuming short-form video content, as delivered by apps like TikTok and Instagram, is associated with poorer cognition and reduced attention, and the results of a clever experiment from 2023 found that the mere presence of participants’ smartphones in a room significantly reduced their ability to concentrate.

I find that my phone being off, downstairs, or, recently, “accidentally” left at home has created a level of relaxation I had not experienced in a while.

So I WILL text you back eventually. Probably, assuming you are not spam, which you often are tracked as being.

Sunday Stealing Feels Frustrated

Loving You Has Made Me Bannans

Welcome to Sunday Stealing. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves!

This week’s meme is inspired by Christina at Call Me Patsy, who turned to answering these questions when she felt frustrated by a project she was working on.

Frustration – Joan Armatrading

Questions to Answer when You Need a Break because Sunday Stealing Feels Frustrated

1. What would you rather be doing right now?

Sleeping, actually. I had oral surgery on Wednesday, and the residual pain, while not severe, is exhausting.

I’m Only Sleeping – The Beatles and I Go To Sleep -Pretenders

2. What is always on your grocery list?

Bananas. My wife and I usually have them with oatmeal for breakfast. She likes them browner than I. And my daughter would eat them when they are practically green. So you can’t purchase too many at a time.

Loving You Has Made Me Bananas – Guy Marks

3. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?

I have a vague recollection of doing so, not in this century, in a kitchen. But I did, for a very brief time, in the late 1980s or early 1990s, SELL fire extinguishers. I wasn’t very good at it, although I believed in the product, because I hated door-to-door retail sales. Even more, I despised strong-arming my friends.

Fire – Ohio Players

Text

4. How many times did you text yesterday?

Once. I attended a party, and my daughter drove me because the bus runs infrequently on weekends and holidays. My daughter texted me a couple of hours later to see if I wanted a ride home. Since the next bus was in 47 minutes, and the party was starting to break up, I said yes. But my wife ended up picking me up because she had just come home from a different party.

I hate texting. I’m not particularly good at it. The idea of always being available is appalling to me. If I’m home, I don’t even carry my phone unless I’m playing NYT Connections or contacting a doctor. This is why we still have a landline—that and to call my cellphone when I inevitably misplace it.

Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me – “Weird Al” Yankovic

5. Would you prefer a slow-paced, relaxing vacation or one filled with new sights and experiences?

I think I need to alternate. One day of busyness, followed by a day of relaxation.

Vacation – Connie Francis and Vacation – the Go-Go’s

Why I didn’t text

I’m still a digital immigrant – heck, just off the boat – when it comes to texting.

My old cellphone died recently, a flip phone that totally broke in half, and would no longer charge. I’d had it only about five years, or maybe seven. I KNEW there was texting capacity on it but even though I READ THE MANUAL, I couldn’t figure out how to type words on a telephone keypad. I played with the # and * keys and got different, inconsistent results.

Anyway, I read RTM for the new phone; same thing: no information, assuming I’m SUPPOSED to know. But I don’t. But I Facebook IMed my old friend (and by old, I’ve known her since kindergarten) Carol (not to be confused with my wife Carol, who wasn’t born when I went to kindergarten.) I let her know that I could RECEIVE a text, but that I didn’t know how to SEND one.

She sent me this link http://phonekeyboard.com/alphabetmode.htm:

The Phone Keyboard uses the phone in the same standard way. Pressing the desired number keys [1] through [9] and a [0] still produces the numbers 1 – 9 and 0. Pressing the left asterisk [*] key once exits the standard number mode and enters a 2 key Alphabet Mode. Letters are produced in the Alphabet Mode by pressing the desired letter on a number key [1] through [9], followed by one of three position keys: the “left” asterisk [*] key for the left letter, the “middle” zero [0] key for the middle letter or the “right” pound [#] key for the right letter…

Pressing the left asterisk [*] key 2 times exits the standard number mode and enters a Shiftable Alphabet Mode. Letters are produced in the Shiftable Alphabet Mode by pressing the desired letter on a number key [1] through [9], followed by one of three position keys: the “left” asterisk [*] key for the left letter, the “middle” zero [0] key for the middle letter or the “right” pound [#] key for the right letter…

Pressing the left asterisk [*] key 3 times exits the standard number mode and enters a Multi-Tap Mode. Letters are produced in the Multi-Tap Mode by pressing the desired letter on a number key [1] through [9] once, twice or three times….

This explains everything, including how I kept shifting from mode to mode without intending to do so. Now I text. Not a lot, mind you, to friend Carol and my sisters. And I showed The Wife how to do so on her phone that’s about the same vintage as my old one.

BTW, I have a plan that costs $20 per three months, but I get charged more if I exceed the allotted number of minutes/units/whatever. I have been SO not reaching the threshold that, after I got the new phone ($12 off the balance), I still had $170 left. Texting will probably eat into that, but not sure how much.

And I’m still a digital immigrant – heck, just off the boat – when it comes to texting. Now that I know HOW to do it, can’t imagine spending hours on it. Then again, a decade ago, I couldn’t have imagined blogging every day. So what do I know?

Also, I DON’T have a smartphone yet. It’s not the cost of the phone that bugs me, it’s the cost of the monthly service. I considered doing so when I got this new phone, but then they started talking about “picking a plan,” and I bailed.

I must be cheap; I see this TV ad for a smartphone for ONLY $150 per month for four people, and that’s supposedly a good deal; not on OUR budget, it’s not! Well, maybe when the Daughter’s a little older… (Sound of blogger kicking and screaming.)

http://wronghands1.wordpress.com/2013/07/06/important-texts/ used under CC license: by-nc-nd/

The Scenario

Hair in my food?

I found this at something called Monday Mayhem, only the URL spells it “mahem”. Whatever. It’s rather like Sunday Stealing except the lists tend to be shorter. I thought this one from January was rather interesting.

1. You see a strange car pull up to your neighbor’s house every day at lunchtime. You accidentally glance into the window of the house and notice that your ‘happily married neighbor’ is fooling around! What do you do?

Well, it depends very much on my relationship with the neighbor and the neighbor’s spouse. It might be that I would do absolutely nothing at all if I didn’t know them well. If the one fooling around was my friend, I probably would mention it to him/her. If the neighbor’s spouse was my friend, I would almost certainly mention it, not to my friend, at least initially, but to the cheating spouse, with a recommendation to end the affair; whether I told my friend would depend on the actions of the person “fooling around”.

2. You are at the mall and a mom with really annoying screaming little kids is walking in front of you. She goes to give her kids a quarter for the giant gumball machine and she accidentally drops a $10 bill and doesn’t realize it. What do you do?

Say, “Hey lady, you dropped something!” Don’t know how the noisy kids factor into this. Right is right.

3. You get an email from a candy company telling you that they will send you 6 pounds of delicious chocolate if you blog about their product. When you get the product and try it you realize that it is the worst chocolate that you have ever tasted. What do you do?

It’d be one of two things: 1) I just don’t write anything at all, especially if it’s a small company, or 2) I write a negative review, probably filled with qualifiers such as “unfortunately, I found the candy pretty much inedible. I have to wonder: was this just a bad, or tainted batch, or is this what they sell regularly? If the latter, I can’t imagine long-term success.”

4. Texting while driving is one of the most dangerous and annoying things someone could do. Yet, what would you do if you were driving and listening to the radio when the announcer says that he will give $10,000 to the first person with your name that texts a message to him?

Well, assuming I actually knew where my cellphone was, if I were driving, I’d pull over at the first opportunity.

5. You’ve been invited to your boss’s house for a dinner party. It’s dark out and there is poor lighting when you get there. As soon as you get inside you realize that you have stepped in dog poop and you have tracked into your boss’s house. What do you do?

Well, it would depend on whether it was the boss’s dog. If it was, I’d say, “I’m afraid I just stepped into some dog poop” without specifying. Conversely, if I knew for sure it WASN’T my boss’s dog, I’d launch into a tirade about people who don’t curb their pets.

6. You are at a restaurant waiting for your food to arrive. You’ve waited nearly 30 minutes since the moment you placed your order when your food finally shows up. There is a hair on the top of the food. Do you send it back and wait another 30 minutes or do you deal?

I send it back and leave, paying for the drinks and salad already consumed. All the restaurant studies suggest it is the experience, not the quality of the food, that makes the most impact on whether one has a good or poor dining experience. Another half-hour wait would make it a poor dining experience, no matter how good the food was.

7. If you had the power to do so, what would be the one question that you would like to ask anyone who reads this?

Why do they call it “reality television” when the circumstances are so artificial, anything but real?
***
Exene Cervenka of the band X co-directed Bad Day (1986), a “20-minute, silent, black & white western to pay tribute to the early days of the one-reel westerns,” starting John Doe (X), Dave Alvin (Blasters), Chris D (Flesh Eaters), Kevin Costner (yes, that Kevin Costner), “now available for digital download on a pay-what-you-will basis…a portion of the proceeds from the film are going to Gulf Coast aid organizations.”