All about Orange

Keep the pulp!

A bit of Monday Mayhem:

1. What is your favorite orange-colored thing on the planet?

John Boehner. No, I jest. Sunrise or sunset.

2. Ever see an orange person?

Albany mayor Jerry Jennings, who sometimes put Boehner to shame.

3. Name something that you hate that is orange.

Cantaloupe. Indeed, I’m just not a melon guy at all.

4. What is your favorite sports team that uses the color orange?

Easy – the Syracuse University Orangemen. If I were to pick a pro team, it’d be the blue-and-orange New York Mets.

5. Name an orange food.

A clementine, a type of orange fruit.

6. Tell us something funny that entails an orange (like a joke or image).

Eminem was on 60 Minutes in October, interviewed by Anderson Cooper.

He writes all of his own songs and delights in rhyming words others can’t.

We talked to him about how he does it in his private recording studio.

Eminem has said he bends the words.

“It’s just in the enunciation of it,” he explained. “Like, people say that the word ‘orange’ doesn’t rhyme with anything and that kind ‘a pisses me off because I can think of a lot of things that rhyme with orange.”

“What rhymes with orange? I can’t think of anything,” Cooper remarked.

“If you’re taking the word at face value and you just say orange, nothing is going to rhyme with it exactly. If you enunciate it and you make it like more than one syllable? Orange, you could say like, ‘I put my orange four-inch door hinge in storage and ate porridge with George.’ So, you just have to figure out the science to breakin’ down words,” he replied.

7. When is the last time you ate an orange?

This summer.

8. What’s your opinion about pulp- does it belong in juice or should it be removed?

Keep the pulp!

9. Name an orange piece of your wardrobe.

T-shirt with my church’s logo on it.

10. Orange you glad we didn’t say banana?

And my daughter cannot yet tell that joke correctly. In time, I’m sure she will.

The Scenario

Hair in my food?

I found this at something called Monday Mayhem, only the URL spells it “mahem”. Whatever. It’s rather like Sunday Stealing except the lists tend to be shorter. I thought this one from January was rather interesting.

1. You see a strange car pull up to your neighbor’s house every day at lunchtime. You accidentally glance into the window of the house and notice that your ‘happily married neighbor’ is fooling around! What do you do?

Well, it depends very much on my relationship with the neighbor and the neighbor’s spouse. It might be that I would do absolutely nothing at all if I didn’t know them well. If the one fooling around was my friend, I probably would mention it to him/her. If the neighbor’s spouse was my friend, I would almost certainly mention it, not to my friend, at least initially, but to the cheating spouse, with a recommendation to end the affair; whether I told my friend would depend on the actions of the person “fooling around”.

2. You are at the mall and a mom with really annoying screaming little kids is walking in front of you. She goes to give her kids a quarter for the giant gumball machine and she accidentally drops a $10 bill and doesn’t realize it. What do you do?

Say, “Hey lady, you dropped something!” Don’t know how the noisy kids factor into this. Right is right.

3. You get an email from a candy company telling you that they will send you 6 pounds of delicious chocolate if you blog about their product. When you get the product and try it you realize that it is the worst chocolate that you have ever tasted. What do you do?

It’d be one of two things: 1) I just don’t write anything at all, especially if it’s a small company, or 2) I write a negative review, probably filled with qualifiers such as “unfortunately, I found the candy pretty much inedible. I have to wonder: was this just a bad, or tainted batch, or is this what they sell regularly? If the latter, I can’t imagine long-term success.”

4. Texting while driving is one of the most dangerous and annoying things someone could do. Yet, what would you do if you were driving and listening to the radio when the announcer says that he will give $10,000 to the first person with your name that texts a message to him?

Well, assuming I actually knew where my cellphone was, if I were driving, I’d pull over at the first opportunity.

5. You’ve been invited to your boss’s house for a dinner party. It’s dark out and there is poor lighting when you get there. As soon as you get inside you realize that you have stepped in dog poop and you have tracked into your boss’s house. What do you do?

Well, it would depend on whether it was the boss’s dog. If it was, I’d say, “I’m afraid I just stepped into some dog poop” without specifying. Conversely, if I knew for sure it WASN’T my boss’s dog, I’d launch into a tirade about people who don’t curb their pets.

6. You are at a restaurant waiting for your food to arrive. You’ve waited nearly 30 minutes since the moment you placed your order when your food finally shows up. There is a hair on the top of the food. Do you send it back and wait another 30 minutes or do you deal?

I send it back and leave, paying for the drinks and salad already consumed. All the restaurant studies suggest it is the experience, not the quality of the food, that makes the most impact on whether one has a good or poor dining experience. Another half-hour wait would make it a poor dining experience, no matter how good the food was.

7. If you had the power to do so, what would be the one question that you would like to ask anyone who reads this?

Why do they call it “reality television” when the circumstances are so artificial, anything but real?
Exene Cervenka of the band X co-directed Bad Day (1986), a “20-minute, silent, black & white western to pay tribute to the early days of the one-reel westerns,” starting John Doe (X), Dave Alvin (Blasters), Chris D (Flesh Eaters), Kevin Costner (yes, that Kevin Costner), “now available for digital download on a pay-what-you-will basis…a portion of the proceeds from the film are going to Gulf Coast aid organizations.”


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