Here’s the EOY health report for 2023:
Vision: I went for my eye exam on December 7. My doctor noted that, eventually, I’m going to need cataract surgery for both eyes, especially the left one. I’m going to get a diabetic eye exam in six months. Why not at the time of my last visit? Because my eye insurance paid for one service, and my medical insurance will cover the other, I couldn’t do both simultaneously.
Meanwhile, I recognize I need more illumination. I couldn’t read the name of the third movie playing at the Madison Theatre from the Mobil station, which was far away. But it was after 4 pm, and the sun was on its descent.
Likewise, I was ordering a watch for my wife for Christmas because her extant timepiece ceased working. I could read the word TIMEX on her current item but not Indiglo below it. Well, not until morning, when the natural light from outdoors aided me.
My wife told me that the last time she ordered glasses for our daughter at the same optometrist’s office, the spectacles were ready that day. Mine didn’t even start to be processed until the 13th, and it wasn’t ready on the 22nd when I called. I did not get them until after Christmas.
Heart: that thing is okay for another six months. No open-heart surgery THIS year. Yay.
No children were harmed.
Knees: My always achy left knee has been particularly aggravating me. At church a couple of weeks ago, I was heading towards the loo when some small human unexpectedly zigzagged toward me. It was all I could do to avoid falling on top of said small human. That would have a headline: “Fat old man falls, crushes small child in front of church bathroom.” But not falling, I pulled something, not only in my knee but my left ankle.
I actively avoid falls. My insane cat, Midnight, runs in front of me into the kitchen two hours before he is scheduled to be fed. I don’t want a dead feline on my conscience, either.
Last week, my neighbors allowed a garbage can to be filled with water. Then they tipped it over, with some water puddling in front of our house, and then freezing. Fortunately, my wife put down rock salt.
I’ve avoided getting a cortisone shot, determining that it only masks pain rather than truly treating it. But masking the pain may be the way to go if the discomfort continues into the new year.
Teeth: I had a cavity filled in November. When I went to the appointment, I misremembered it and thought it was just for a cleaning. The oddly comforting thing is that it didn’t hurt much after having a root canal in the area a few years ago.
Thus endeth the report.