What the heck is Zoosk?

I am not a 5’5″ Gemini

ZooskOh, dear. A message indicates my photo has been removed from Zoosk. But one question. What the heck is Zoosk? “Zoosk Inc is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Spark Networks SE, a NASDAQ MKT Company (LOV).”| Ah, it’s an online dating service.

Here’s the email I got.

Hi rogerogreen,

Your photo was removed for not following Zoosk’s photo guidelines. To help your new photo go live…

· Make sure it’s clear
· Be alone in your photo
· Don’t include nudity

Wait a minute. I didn’t send them a photograph. This person isn’t even me!

The guy in question is:

Gender: Male (true), but he’s more than a half-decade younger

Interested In: Women (well, not just ANY woman)

Sign: Gemini (not me)

Height:5’5″ (way shorter than I)

Ethnicity: White / Caucasian (nah)

Relationship History: Separated (that’d be news to my wife)

Children: Has children, not at home (singular child, still at home)

Education: Attended college (actually, I have a BA and an MLS)

Religion: Christian – Catholic (I tend toward Protestantism)

Smoking: Smokes regularly (no way in heck)

Industry: Military (not me)

Oh, and he’s in the different Northeast area. I figured this because the four women Zoosk suggested are from around there. And they’re all non-smokers.

I was going to just reply to the email and say this ain’t me. But one of my sisters suggested it could be some sort of scam, though I’m not sure how that would even work. I will say the Zoosk security kinda SUCKS.

Response

So I blocked the messages. But it was still unsettling that MY email was used in this manner, especially when I got a couple of responses.

Then I wrote to their customer service folks. “Thank you for contacting our Zoosk Customer Care Team.

“This is an automatic email to confirm that we have received your request and have forwarded it on to the appropriate department for review. Here is your ticket reference number… To add additional comments, please reply to this email.

“Once your account and request have been reviewed, you will receive a response. We will try our very best to reply to you within the next 48 hours.”

While waiting for a reply, I came across this site for dissatisfied customers.

But Zoosk did get back to me, and in less than 24 hours: “Thank you for getting in touch and alerting us to this situation.

“We have blocked the profile connected to [my email]. This means that it has been removed from our website. It does not appear in Search, and it can no longer be logged into or used. Moreover, it is not possible to create another profile with this same email address in the future.” Thank you for that.

But right afterward, I got unsolicited ads from Match.com and SilverSingles. Meh.

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

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