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50 signs of aging

I have the Beatles’ song ‘Happiness is a Warm Gun’ stuck in my head, specifically the lyric, “The soap impression of his wife Which he ate and donated to the National Trust.”

The fine blogger Shooting Parrots, from across the pond, did this quiz: “Do you feel like you’re getting old? Take our 50 signs of ageing test to find out.” They – the quiz writer and SP – are from England, so obviously they can’t spell “aging.”

Feeling stiff
Yes – especially the left knee

Groaning when you bend down
Well, no. Not yet, anyway.

Saying: “It wasn’t like that when I was young.”
Occasionally. Usually it was to suggest that Republicans, such as Jacob Javits, Everett Dirksen and William Scranton were quite all right fellows, unlike most of their recent counterparts.

Saying: “In my day.”
No, because I would sound like my maternal grandmother.

Losing hair
Yes, but I’ve been losing it since I was about 18, so it’s hardly a function of getting old.

Not knowing any songs in the top 10

No. This is the advantage of having younger colleagues: I actually own 3 of them the week I checked, two by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and one by P!nk

Getting hairier ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc
Not that I’ve noticed.

Hating noisy pubs
Yes, but I hated noisy bars when I was in my 20s. Found it too difficult to have a conversation.

Talking a lot about joints/ailments
Yes, the aforementioned knee. Plus an elbow.

Forgetting people’s names
Yes, but I’ve been doing that for decades. When I was in New Paltz in 1974, I was backing this Congressional candidate named Matt McHugh. He was GREAT at remembering not only names of people across this wide swath of state (Ithaca to Woodstock, for you upstaters), he remembered details of their lives. “Hi, John, how’s your wife Mary?” or “Hello, Karen. How did your husband Bill’s operation go?” He won and served 18 years in Congress.

Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
Yes, but anyone who knows I wear red sneakers often will suss out that 1) I don’t care about style and 2) form over function irritates me. That’s been true for decades.

Thinking policemen/teachers/doctors look young
Yes, especially my daughter’s elementary school teachers, who ARE in their 20s and 30s.

Falling asleep in front of the TV
Seldom, and this was more likely in my 20s than now.

Needing an afternoon nap
Only when I’m ill or injured.

Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about
Occasionally true, though that was also the case when I was a young person.

Struggling to use technology
Sometimes, but that has long been true.

Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and televisions
I don’t have a tablet, but I know how the TV works.

You start complaining about things more
Yes, and this I WILL attribute to getting older. Pretty much a “Why not?” It’s also why I have a blog.

Wearing your glasses around your neck
No, because that DOES look old.

Not remembering the names of any modern bands
I know a few, even own a few albums.

You avoid lifting heavy things due to back concerns
Not really.

Complaining about the rubbish on TV these days
Yes, but there IS rubbish on TV.

Misplacing your bag/keys etc
Keys, yes, afraid so, but was true three decades ago.

Switching from Radio 1 to Radio 2
Well, I don’t listen to Top 40 (1), but not much middle-of-the-road stuff (2), either. Probably leave them both off.

You start driving very slowly
The few times I’ve driven, it was slow.

Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town
True for decades.

Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Roadshow
No. The show irritates me with its “maybe I’ll be rich” mentality.

You talk to colleagues who are so young they don’t know what an Opal Fruit is
I had never heard of this.

You start you taking slippers to a friend’s house
Yes, many of my friends like us to take off our shoes when we go to their houses. In the winter, slippers are a great choice.

Listening to The Archers
Not following US soap operas, so I’ll say no.

Falling asleep after a glass of wine
Funny thing about wine and me; it’ll put me to sleep if I drink it in the midday, but not at night. That’s been true since my mid-20s.

Never going out without your coat
No

Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
No, though I’ve gotten better in general about getting clothes as gifts than I was when I first got married.

You can’t lose 6lb in two days anymore
Never could, except in preparation for a colonoscopy, and it comes right back.

Gasping for a cup of tea
No. (I do not understand the context for this.)

Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out
No

Joining the WI
Don’t know what the US equivalent to this would be.

Taking a keen interest in the garden
No, but I don’t see what the problem with that is. My wife and daughter have a plot in the community garden.

Spending more money on face creams/antiageing products
Zero dollars.

Spending money on the home/furniture rather than a night on the town
True, but it’s an old home, though in fact I’d rather spend it going to a movie or play.

Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather.
Yes, especially in winter. Once one’s had frostbite – to the feet, when I was 16 – one tries not to repeat it. So I cover well the head, the ears, the hands, the feet.

Putting everyday items in the wrong place
Not yet.

Obsessive gardening or bird feeding
No

Really enjoying puzzles and crosswords
No, though I used to do crosswords when I was younger.

Always driving in the slow lane or below 70 in the middle lane
N/A

Consider going on a ‘no-children’ cruise for a holiday
Actually, when my wife was first pregnant, we went to ‘no children’ resort in Maine.

Your ears are getting bigger
I was told I have tiny ears.

Joining the National Trust
Based on what I’ve read, if I lived there, I probably would. (I have the Beatles’ song ‘Happiness is a Warm Gun’ stuck in my head, specifically the lyric, “The soap impression of his wife Which he ate and donated to the National Trust.”)

Drinking sherry
No, it gives me a headache, and last I checked, did not like the taste.

Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking even if it isn’t polite
Nah, I’m still stuck with that politeness flaw.

So my takeaway from this is that I’m getting old, but was probably old 35 years ago. The only things that are appreciably different from then are the younger teachers and the achier joints.

Dealing with that “white privilege” conversation with humor

These are examples of showing, in a satirical way, how white privilege is so ingrained. As Hayes points out at the end, if you had substituted “black” for “white”, it would sound like normal American media chitchat.

One of the things that many right-wing Americans are fond of saying, and there are variations in the wording, is that there are a bunch of “professional black people” stirring up trouble between black and white people. By “professional black people,” I don’t mean black people who are doctors and lawyers and the like. Rather, their profession is BEING a black person. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are ALWAYS cited, and Barack HUSSEIN Obama has been recently added to the mix.

The general narrative is that, racially, things are FINE in America, that we have a post-racial society. I mean, we have a President who’s black! What more proof does one need? Well, none for the Supreme Court, which decides to gut the Voting Rights Act and affirmative action.

Every suggestion that things are NOT hunky-dory has a pushback. The difference in unemployment, wealth, and health care? That’s black laziness, and it’s self-victimization to even discuss it. Trayvon Martin’s shooting? He was a thug. Etc, etc.

In the last forty or fifty years, I’ve been to a number of talks, workshops, etc., in which the notion of “white privilege” shows up, and almost invariably, the air goes out of the room. White privilege, Wikipedia says, “refers to the set of alleged societal privileges that white people benefit from beyond those commonly experienced by people of color in the same social, political, or economic spaces (nation, community, workplace, income, etc.). The term denotes both obvious and less obvious unspoken advantages that white individuals may not recognize they have, which distinguishes it from overt bias or prejudice. These include cultural affirmations of one’s own worth; greater presumed social status; and freedom to move, buy, work, play, and speak freely. The concept of white privilege also implies the right to assume the universality of one’s own experiences, marking others as different or exceptional while perceiving oneself as normal.” You can find a whole category on the topic in the Huffington Post.

The reason it sucks the air out of a room, particularly early on, is that it has led to either a rejection of the notion altogether or a wallowing of white guilt with nowhere to go with that. Here’s a decent list about privilege (and no, it’s not just racial).

A popular trope out there is that the (non-monolithic) black community, or Muslim community, is need of Rising Up and Keeping Its Folks in Line. Even black people, such as Bill Cosby, say it. But the great thing about white privilege is that no one would be ridiculous enough to say that about white people.

Until now.

If you’ve heard too much about the “pathology” of black people, you might appreciate Cord Jefferson of Gawker.com showing this Video of Violent, Rioting Surfers Shows White Culture of Lawlessness. But it was astonishing when Jefferson is interviewed on an episode of All In With Chris Hayes on MSNBC to discuss that video. They play it straight, like any other “talking heads” interview on the news programs. It works on multiple levels for me.

These are examples of showing, in a satirical way, how white privilege is so ingrained. As Hayes points out at the end, if you had substituted “black” for “white”, it would sound like normal American media chitchat.

Related: I was touched by this story: I have experienced what it is like to be a “sort-of white” person because of my racial background, my upbringing, and the way I look.

Songs That Have Hit #1 By Two Different Artists

Why were the 1957 songs be left off the Wikipedia list?

Number 1 in 1975Here’s the back story about this post: I was listening to my favorite music podcast, Coverville, which was doing a cover story of Kylie Minogue, cover songs of and by the Aussie singer. At some point, the host says the song The Locomotion went to #1 (implicitly, on the US charts) three times. I know this is inaccurate, as I’ve heard the claim before. Little Eva #1, Grand Funk #1, Kylie only to #3, which is still impressive. Kylie’s version DID go to #1 in her native land.

So what songs HAVE gone to #1 more than once? Wikipedia and other sources note these:

1 “Go Away Little Girl” — Steve Lawrence (1963) and Donny Osmond (1971)
2 “The Loco-Motion” — Little Eva (1962) and Grand Funk (1974)
3 “Please Mr. Postman” — The Marvelettes (1961) and The Carpenters (1975)
4 “Venus” — Shocking Blue (1970) and Bananarama (1986)
5 “Lean on Me” — Bill Withers (1972) and Club Nouveau (1987)
6 “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” — The Supremes (1966) and Kim Wilde (1987)
7 “When a Man Loves a Woman” — Percy Sledge (1966) and Michael Bolton (1991)
8 “I’ll Be There” — The Jackson 5 (1970) and Mariah Carey (1992)
9 “Lady Marmalade” — Labelle (1975) and Christina Aguilera / Lil’ Kim / Mýa / Pink (2001)

BTW, I own both versions of 2-4, 8, and 9, but only the older versions of 5-7. (I didn’t even REMEMBER Bolton’s version.)

But the website cites footnote 28 which is Retro-Hits.com, which additionally lists:

“Butterfly” – Charlie Gracie (1957) and Andy Williams (also in 1957)
“Young Love” – Sonny James (1957) and Tab Hunter (also in 1957)

Why were the 1957 songs be left off the Wikipedia list? (I own Williams and James.)

I asked THE guru of all things pop music history, Chaz Hill, a/k/a Dustbury: “Well, it does say specifically ‘Billboard Hot 100,’ a chart which wasn’t actually created until 1958. (Before that, there were four different charts: Best Sellers in Stores, Most Played by Jockeys, Most Played in Juke Boxes, and ‘Top 100,’ which isn’t quite the same.) I’m assuming that they’re using the stricter definition at Wikipedia, the looser one at Retro Hits. (Joel Whitburn, who compiles all those chart books, does his figuring on the looser definition.)”

Thanks, Mr. Hill. This reminds me of a lot of library reference questions. They may seem easy on the surface, but there are often nuances to make them a bit more complicated.

July Rambling: privilege, and 12-tone music

Roger Green was told that he cannot greet pupils from Sandy Lane Primary School in Bracknell, Berkshire, with the gesture because a driver said it slowed down traffic.

Watch the important documentary, Two American Families, online at Bill Moyers’ website. In the same vein, To Rescue Local Economies, Cities Seize Underwater Mortgages Through Eminent Domain.

From Meryl, the graphic novel expert: The Armageddon Letters and the Cuban Missile Crisis. Also, Zahra – from Paradise to President. Published in 2011, its story takes place in Iran, June 2009.

Brief Thoughts on Shelby County v. Holder by Mark S. Mishler. (But the actual title is TOO long!)

Daniel Nester writes about privilege. I found it interesting, in part, because it reminded me of certain white sociology students, in undergraduate school and subsequently, who insisted on informing me about the sources of my oppression. They also insisted I spell “black people” as “Black people.” Meh. Dan also gives cheeky advice for aspiring writers.

Thom’s apology to the GLBT people he knows, and the ones he doesn’t.

6 Things That Will Happen Now That The Sanctity Of Marriage Is Destroyed, presented by George Takei.

Eddie and Keith do a road trip.

Dustbury found this video, which is about Arnold Schoenberg and 12-tone music but is as much about the stifling US copyright law, the creative mind, the boundaries of art, and how we communicate with each other. He “learned more from this half-hour of unconventional pedagogy than from a whole semester of theory.”

It was the first line in Jaquandor’s novel, it was a reflection of first lines of novels generally.

Mark Evanier writes: “My father was a very honest man. Absolutely, utterly honest. Once, he found a wallet in the street with a few hundred dollars in it. He took it home, looked up the number of the person it belonged to and arranged to return it to them…with every buck still in it. He did things like that all the time. All the time.”

Melanie deals with the death of a close family member. “With it comes a closure of sorts. Unfortunately, this is one of those deaths that bring feelings of sadness, but also of relief- a lengthy ordeal over at last.”

Daniel Nester’s dad died, and those “pesky abandonment issues” pop up. He is processing his Notes on Grief, parts I and II and III and IV and V.

Related: 936 opportunities, which made me melancholy thinking about MY dad.

Chris quits smoking! YAY!, despite duress. And she has a new blog! BTW, she also made and sent me yummy cookies!

‘Friendly atheist’ speaks to thousands at megachurch.

How do we pray for a friend in need or a stranger who might be sick or lonely in the hospital or at home?

NOT a Get Out Of Hell Free card.

Arthur answers my questions about music and identity and the roots of his political self and political philosophy & friends and boycotts and some other stuff. He also responded to my slow audience post.

Simplified blogging.

The Mom From ‘The Cat in the Hat’ Finally Speaks.

The secret of the Floating Cork.

I’m egotistical enough to be pleased that Chuck Miller put me in his Best of our Times Union Community Blogs for July 25 and July 18 I also appreciate that he’s trying to promote the TU bloggers the way he wishes the TU would. As noted before, I never know what to write for that audience, until I do, such as when I wrote: The Census site with Congressional district data is cool. Really.

I noted that my friend Lynne tried to walk from Albany to Binghamton, but I didn’t mention that walking on the side of the road is NOT like sidewalk walking.

GOOGLE ALERTS (not me)

Daily Mail: Lollipop man banned from high-fiving children because it ‘confuses drivers. “Roger Green was told that he cannot greet pupils from Sandy Lane Primary School in Bracknell, Berkshire, with the gesture because a driver said it slowed down traffic. Hundreds of parents have reacted angrily to the ban by Bracknell Forest Council.”
Followup: “High-five” lollipop man given the green light to give “thumbs up” instead.

The Guardian: Notes from Overground by Tiresias (the pen name of Roger Green) was published in 1984. It became a minor cult, and though it never sold very well, it still gets into the occasional blog today. We admirers occasionally meet and share favourite moments.

Is Stand Your Ground bad law?

I could have sworn I had written about my concerns about the Stand Your Ground laws after Florida passed it, long before the shooting and killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman. Can’t find it. So I’ll cheat, and expand on this document from the government of the state of Connecticut.

The Castle Doctrine and “stand-your-ground” laws are affirmative defenses for individuals charged with criminal homicide. The Castle Doctrine is a common law doctrine [going back to English common law] stating that an individual has no duty to retreat when in his or her home, or “castle,” and may use reasonable force, including deadly force, to defend his or her property, person, or another. [There was a case a few years ago where some drunk guy wandered into someone’s home in western New York at 1 a.m. The intruder was shot and killed, and no charges were filled.] Outside of the “castle,” however, an individual has a duty to retreat, if able to do so, before using reasonable force.

Stand-your-ground laws, by comparison, remove the common law requirement to retreat outside of one’s “castle,” allowing an individual to use force in self-defense when there is reasonable belief of a threat. [Note this important distinction; one does not have to walk away from the conflict.] Deadly force is reasonable under stand-your-ground laws in certain circumstances, such as imminent great bodily harm or death.

Forty-six states… have incorporated the Castle Doctrine into law. Connecticut law justifies the use of reasonable physical force, including deadly force, in defense of premises. Connecticut courts have recognized the common law privilege to challenge an unlawful entry into one’s home, to the extent that a person’s conduct does not rise to the level of a crime. Deadly force is justified in defense of one’s property by a person who is privileged to be on the premises and who reasonably believes such force is necessary to prevent an attempt by the criminal trespasser to commit any crime of violence.

Twenty states have stand-your-ground laws. Generally, these laws allow an individual to use force in self-defense when there is reasonable belief of a threat, without an obligation to retreat first if the individual (1) has a legal right to be at the location and (2) is not engaged in an unlawful activity. Connecticut does not have a stand-your-ground law. Connecticut law specifically requires an individual to retreat, if able to do so, before using reasonable force.
***
The idea that one should be able to defend oneself, or another, in case of a reasonable threat is always true. The question in Stand Your Ground is how much effort one needs to use to try to extract oneself from the situation.

My concern is not people with guns, but rather short-tempered people with guns who take advantage of the notion of a perceived threat. At the absurdist end of the spectrum, I’m thinking of that Tennessee woman who shot at a car full of kids for turning in her driveway; fortunately, no one was hurt.

Is there a racial component in the perception of a “reasonable threat”? [Research John Roman] “found that Stand Your Ground laws tend to track the existing racial disparities in homicide convictions across the U.S. — with one significant exception: Whites who kill blacks in Stand Your Ground states are far more likely to be found justified in their killings.”

I’m uncomfortable with Stand Your Ground because I believe it has led to avoidable deaths and will continue to do so.

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