Signed, Dear Abby

The name Abigail Van Buren came from a Biblical woman and a one-term President.

Even as a child in Binghamton, NY, I religiously read Ann Landers in the morning paper, the Sun-Bulletin, and Dear Abby in the Evening Press. When the papers merged, both columns appeared.

Someone of a younger vintage might not appreciate the impact of the social significance of these columns written for many years by twin sisters, born July 4, 1918. Ask Ann Landers was originally the pen name created by Chicago Sun-Times columnist Ruth Crowley in 1943, but it was taken over by Eppie Lederer in 1955, and used until her death in 2002 when the name was retired; it was Eppie with whom the pseudonym was most identified.

A few months after Eppie became Ann, Pauline Phillips started the similar Dear Abby; the name Abigail Van Buren came from a Biblical woman and a one-term President. The sisters feuded for years. Pauline’s daughter Jeanne Phillips, took over Dear Abby in 2002, officially, when Pauline’s Alzheimer’s became known, though, in fact, Jeanne’s participation went back to her time as a teenager.

I long preferred Ann to Abby. I thought she was more tolerant, especially after her 1975 announcement about the end of her 32-year marriage.

Yet it was Dear Abby, by the structural simplicity of the pen name, which was the better known of the two. “Dear Abby” generated many more references in popular culture, such as this piece by the Bitchy Waiter. My favorite is the song Dear Abby by John Prine [LISTEN].

Pauline Phillips, the original Dear Abby, died on January 16.
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Conrad Bain died this week. I must note that I wasn’t a big fan of Diff’rent Strokes, which was about this rich white man, who had a young daughter, adopting two black kids. Arnold often said to his brother, “What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” I think it was supposed to be funny.

I did watch and enjoy Bain on Maude as Dr. Arthur Harmon, her neighbor, and Republican foil to her liberal views.

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Bewitched and Ben Franklin

“Defensive pessimism” – that sounds about the right description of my philosophy.

I know some people who appear to be unrelentingly positive, seeing the 3/4s empty glass as 1/4 full. I appreciate those people, as long as they don’t seem to be wearing rose-colored glasses.

I was commenting on someone’s blog – more on that anon – and I was reminded of one of those peculiar childhood memories that, I believe, color my view of the world to this day.

It was an episode of the 1960s television program Bewitched, starring Elizabeth Montgomery.

I recall very little about the particulars, actually. Couldn’t tell you which Darrin was in it, Dick York or Dick Sargent. We had a black and white TV, so I couldn’t tell you if it was broadcast in color. Don’t even particularly remember the plot.

I DO know, though, that Benjamin Franklin appeared, for some reason. His character was offering up all sorts of aphorisms. One was that he always going through life expecting negative outcomes so that when something positive happened, he would be pleasantly surprised. It was a punchline that was supposed to be funny – the canned laughter told me that – but, to me, it made SENSE. (The exact quote from the show, according to here: “I’m more optimistic than pessimistic. Or perhaps I’m an optimistic pessimist — prepare for the worst, but when the very worst doesn’t happen, I’m pleasantly surprised.”)

Last month, in her V is for Visualization post, Meryl at Departing the Text wrote:

Studies suggest…that optimistic affirmations designed to lift one’s mood, often achieve the opposite effect.

…The Power of Negative Thinking essayist, Oliver Burkeman suggests that there is an alternative approach to help us find that sometimes elusive (holiday) cheer: “…both ancient philosophy and modern psychology suggest that darker thoughts can make us happier.”

According to Burkeman, Albert Ellis (a New York psychotherapist) rediscovered this key insight of the Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome: “the best way to address an uncertain future is to focus not on the best-case scenario but on the worst.”

Stoics called this worst-case scenario therapy “the premeditation of evils” and they believed that doing this would remove the anxiety “THE FUTURE” relayed. According to Burkeman, modern psychologist Julie Norem estimates that about one-third of Americans instinctively use this strategy which she terms “defensive pessimism.”

Burkeman further posits that: “The ultimate value of the ‘negative path’ may not be its role in facilitating upbeat emotions or even success. It is simply realism. The future really is uncertain, after all, and things really do go wrong as well as right. We are too often motivated by the craving to put an end to the inevitable surprises in our lives.”

“Defensive pessimism” – that sounds about the right description of my philosophy. On the other hand, I think that worrying is highly overrated.

This begs the question: was Ben Franklin portrayed accurately in a sitcom a half-century ago? This quote is attributed to him, according to several sources: “I’d rather be a pessimist because then I can only be pleasantly surprised.” So, kinda sorta, yeah.

Movie Review: Silver Linings Playbook

Silver Lings Playbook tells an ultimately orthodox story in such an unorthodox manner.

It’s a rom dramedy! It’s a sports movie! It’s about anger management! It’s a floor wax! It’s a dessert topping!

I read all sorts of things about the new movie Silver Linings Playbook (except those last two, which are from an old Saturday Night Live skit). Still, I didn’t get much of a clear sense of the film beforehand, except who starred in it.

The Wife and I went to see the movie at the Spectrum 8 in Albany, our favorite cinematic haunt, Saturday past. Pat, Jr. (Bradley Cooper, who I had previously seen in absolutely nothing; never caught The Hangover movies) is getting out of a mental institution, after eight and a half months, following a violent incident. He moves back in with his parents (Jacki Weaver, previously nominated for Animal Kingdom; I hadn’t seen her in anything; and Robert DiNiro – HAVE seen him a few times, most recently in New Year’s Eve on TV). Pat wants to woo back his estranged wife, which is complicated by a restraining order.

He seems to have found an ally in his endeavor the friend of a friend (Jennifer Lawrence, who I didn’t see in Hunger Games or anything else) who has issues of her own.

The Wife and I liked the film, though it traveled from this character study – Pat dealing with a Stevie Wonder song that triggers untoward behavior – to an almost conventional film about winning the big game, of a sort.

Sidebar: we spent much of the conversation on the way home talking about what is “crazy” in this society and what is not. Pat Jr. may have been a bit disconnected from reality. But was it much worse than Pat Sr. being banned from the Philadelphia Eagles’ stadium, or his various superstitions concerning sports?

I think it’s getting so many positive reviews and so many Oscar nominations (Best Picture, Best Director, four acting categories, screenplay, plus) because it tells an ultimately orthodox story in such an unorthodox manner. Cooper is better than expected, and Lawrence has more range. Weaver and DeNiro may have gotten their nominations in no small part for one scene, which I won’t describe except that the Led Zeppelin song What Is And What Should Never Be was playing.

I liked the film, but I was surprised by the change in tone. Still, I think it is that turn that made it work for me. Yet, I’m not sure yet whether it was Best Picture material; I’ll have to see some more movies this winter.

WWMD: What Would Martin Do?

If Martin Luther King were still alive, he would be concerned about the inequity of income that has developed regardless of race, especially over the past thirty years.


“A lot of people are waiting for Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi to come back – but they are gone. It is up to us. It is up to you.” – Marian Wright Edelman
I saw this quote on Facebook a couple days after the shootings in Newtown, Connecticut. The quote made me think about what would MLK, Jr. be doing and saying about current events. I have read and/or listened to many of Martin’s writings and speeches, so I could (I hope) reasonably extrapolate his views.

Of course, it’s difficult to ascertain what his impact on society and the culture would be had he survived. Maybe progress in some areas would have happened sooner; maybe he would have been rendered largely irrelevant. That’s the thing about those who die, especially those who die relatively young; they are frozen in time.

Maybe, instead of him dying in 1968, I should imagine that he was traveling to another planet and finally made it back, this century.

The overriding issue for Martin Luther King was always justice. He would fret over the continuing divide of wealth between white Americans and those who are black and Hispanic. At the end of his life, MLK was increasingly aware of class distinctions. He would be equally concerned about the inequity of income that has developed regardless of race, especially over the past thirty years; he would be challenging the 1% for sure. He would be a proponent of equal pay for women.

Obviously, heinous acts of brutality are distressing to him. But he would also address the culture of violence that leads to such unthinkable acts. He would surely talk about the awful tumult that takes place every day in the United States that DOESN’T make the headlines.

He would oppose the death penalty. Not only did he not believe in “an eye for an eye,” but he would despair of the imbalance of people of color incarcerated and on death row across the country, disproportionate to the number of crimes committed.

MLK came to oppose the Vietnam war by 1967. Surely, he would have opposed the Iraq war as unjustified, even before it actually started in 2003. The current wars, particularly the use of drones, would break his heart.

Martin would undoubtedly be pleased, and possibly surprised, that an African-American had been elected President, but would suggest that we have not yet reached “the promised land.”

A is for Albany

Albany had the same mayor, Erastus Corning 2nd, for over 40 years, from 1941 until his death in 1983.

Albany, New York has a long history, going back to at least 1624, when it was called Fort Orange, then later Beverwyck, under Dutch rule. From the city’s webpage: “In 1664 when the Dutch surrendered to the British without a battle, King Charles II granted territory… to his royal brother James, the Duke of both York and Albany. Thus Beverwyck became Albany and New Amsterdam became New York… It was on July 22, 1686, that Governor Thomas Dongan representing the British crown granted a charter recognizing Albany as a city.” It became the permanent capital of New York State in 1797.

As a city on the Hudson River, the city was important in trade. That song The Erie Canal has a line about it running “from Albany to Buffalo.”

One of the more controversial situations in 20th century Albany history was the razing of dozens of buildings to build the South Mall. It changed the skyline but cut off one side of the city from the other.

My own history in Albany, I believe, started in 1970. I was selected to participate in something called The Governor’s Conference on Children and Youth. I flew with a half dozen other people from Binghamton to Albany, only 150 miles away, in a little plane, maybe a 12-seater, during a thunderstorm; I was terrified. I did, however, get to meet Governor Nelson Rockefeller.

I moved from New Paltz, my college town, to Schenectady, not far from Albany, at the end of 1977, and then to Albany in August 1979.

I must admit that sometimes Albany can be quite parochial. I blame it in part on a long series of one-party rule, the Republicans around the turn of the 20th century, but the Democrats since the early 1920s. Albany had the same mayor, Erastus Corning 2nd, for over 40 years, from 1941 until his death in 1983.

I noted here that most folks have to be here 30 years before one’s REALLY from Albany. One somewhat derisive term for the place is Smallbany, which basically means that folks you meet in one set of circumstances you’d likely run into another. There’s a certain snarkiness by Albanians about the city touting the fact that it is about equidistant to NYC and Boston, rather than discussing the city’s many virtues, including two universities, one of which I attended.

ABC Wednesday – Round 12

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