Ramblin' with Roger

Theological QUESTIONS

I was talking to my Jehovah’s Witness buddy on the bus the other day. Frankly, I agree with him a lot more than not, and he certainly knows his Bible. So I was surprised that he thought that we were in the end times, that the things that are happening NOW suggest the Armageddon foretold in Revelation.

Having read the Epistles, I believe people have predicting the Lord was coming back at least since Saint Paul was on the earth (which, not incidentally, predates the writing of Revelation), that these particular circumstances (Israel as a nation, the United Nations as an entity that will try to create a one-world secular government in violation of God’s will, and all the earthquakes, floods, etc. worldwide) are the signs of the End Times. Well, maybe. I’m of the school that “No one knows the day or time when the Lord comes”, so you might as well live your lives loving each other, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and the like.

Meanwhile, the sermon at church on Sunday was useful in another way. I know there is evil in the world, but haven’t attributed it to a personified devil, Satan, Lucifer, the accuser since I was a teenager. Apparently, most people don’t; how else could we make devil’s food cake, deviled eggs and buy Underwood deviled ham, with a little red devil character right on the can?

So, a couple of lighthearted questions for Good Friday:
1. How do you think the world ends? With a bang or a whimper? In lack certainty, so I don’t really worry about it. I DO doubt that the UN will be the vehicle through which a one-government body will arise, if it ever does; it’d much more likely be via the multinational corporations pulling the strings than the US, Iran, Israel, China, and Russia all ceding authority to a controlling government.

2. Do you believe in a personified Devil? I don’t. As a monotheist, which I am, if there is one God, then making “the Devil” like unto God seems wrong.

But what do YOU think?
***
And all he asks of us is we give each other love
– Marvin Gaye (April 2, 1939 – April 1, 1984)
God is Love, from the What’s Goin’ On album
Album version
Extended mix

ROG

CREATIVE PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

The Popsicles that my daughter eat have these puns on the stick. You can see the question, or at least most of it, on the handle, but you have to eat the treat in order to get the punchline. (EXAMPLE: What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.) These types of jokes the daughter doesn’t quite get yet, but will probably be telling next year.

As I’ve noted before, I can be, I’m told, rather funny, but I can’t tell a joke to save my life. And the only jokes I can remember have punchlines that are terrible puns, specifically this one, which, in spite of its title, is NOT “the world’s funniest joke.” (More groaners here and here.)

I’m sure someone – I’m guessing one of my sisters – sent these along, and far be it for me to let them go to waste. (For singers and musicians, Holy Week is hell week, of a sort).

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4.. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

23.&nb sp; When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

And Mark Evanier supplies even more of them
***
I was in the supermarket yesterday, and on the cover of People, Us weekly, InTouch, the National Enquirer amd a couple other publications near the checkout counter was the sad face of Sandra Bullock, and not because she just won the Oscar. I know she’s the bigger star than Wyatt Earp, or whoever she’s married to, but it seems unfair.

Anyway, this song by the Main Ingredient, featuring Cuba Gooding Sr., came to mind, appropriate for the day: Everybody Plays the Fool.

ROG

Bob & Dick

I’ve noticed quite often that when someone, say, at church dies, who I might have known for a couple decades, they always have a back story revealed at the funeral I would not have imagined. Whereas the stories of public figures – actors, singers, and the like – are usually well-known to me.

So I was surprised that I was surprised to learn much more about Robert Culp, the actor who died last week at the age of 79. Not only was he a performer but also a writer and sometime director, often of the series on which he was performing at the time.

I knew Culp him best as Kelly Robinson on I Spy, partnering up with Bill Cosby’s Alexander Scott. Cosby was a well-regarded young comedian, but known for his stand-up routines, not dramatic performances. Yet Sheldon Leonard gave him the job, Cosby got three Emmys in three years, and Cosby and Culp became good friends.

But what struck me when I get to Gordon’s very nice obit of Robert Culp was this book cover of the Whitman novelization Message from Moscow by Brandon Keith (1966). I read this story at least a few times in my early teen years, but oddly I don’t remember that much about it, except for one thing: the villain was quite literally “hoist by his own petard.”

I Spy: I watched that show religiously for the three years it was on. I venture to say 90% of black Americans watched it, just like most black folk watched Nat King Cole’s short-lived variety show a decade earlier. There just weren’t that many opportunities to see people of color on the screen – and when you did, they were often in minor, often demeaning roles. I appreciated how both Culp and Cosby demanded that Cosby’s race not be a centerpiece of the show. I may have to go to HULU and catch an episode or two to see if it is as good as I remember it.
***
I should mention the passing of Dick Giordano, whose ascension to the position of DC Comics’ editor-in-chief corresponded to me starting at the comic book store FantaCo, in 1980. I wasn’t a big DC fan, but I did find myself picking up more of their books in the decade or so he was in charge far more than in the period before. I have a vague recollection meeting him once very briefly at the San Diego Comic Con, and he didn’t SEEM like a corporate stuffed shirt. I suspect that was because, most of all, he was an artist, specifically a quality inker, so he was inclined to try to undersand and appreciate the artist POV. A much better remembrance here.
***
Oh, and this is coincidentally related. My buddy Steve Bissette has been musing at length about Forgotten Comics Wars of the mid to late 1980s. Subtitled How Angry Freelancers Made It Possible for A New Mainstream Comics Era (Including Vertigo) to Exist, it is a very interesting take on an era when I was actively involved in the retail comics biz. I was going to compile the 12 parts once they were all released, but Mark Evanier, bless him, beat me to it. And ME notes: “That last installment has bittersweet meaning because of the recent passing of Dick Giordano, who was in the midst of the controversy.”
ROG

K is for Kindergarten

When my wife and I went to kindergarten in the 1950s (me) and 1960s (her), it was designed to acclimate us to going to school, learning how to be away from home, and an attempt to teach rudimentary things such as learning songs and telling time.

I still remember the Roman-numeraled clocks in my classroom, and the yellow rug that I, and a year later, my sister Leslie used to take our naps. In fact, I specifically remember once waking up at 11:45 a.m. and realizing that no one was there. I actually fell asleep at naptime, and Miss Cady let me sleep, knowing I would just get up and go home afterward. (If a teacher did that now, he or she almost certainly would be fired.)

The book pictured in this post above was/is actually a gift to my wife Carol from her family just before she actually went to kindergarten. The lead character in the book is coincidentally also named Carol.

But now my daughter is now in kindergarten, and it is far from the “children’s garden” its name suggests. In the United States, it has evolved from that “transition from home to the commencement of more formal schooling” to the “first year of compulsory education.” Where once kindergarten was where kids learned skills through creative play and social interaction,” in half-day increments, it is now often the full-day entry level to the standard curriculum.

I mean, my daughter has HOMEWORK! Not just learn the numbers and letters, but adding numbers and combining letters to make words. It’s far more rigorous than her mother and I experienced in the day.

There is this 87-page PDF from early in this century called Original Purpose and Development of Kindergarten in California, which addresses these issues

…kindergarten, inspired by precursor early childhood education concepts, included children from ages six and seven to as young as two and three. It sought to lead children gently “over the threshold of learning by the seductive charm of music, flowers, games, pictures, and curious objects.” Later, kindergarten was integrated into the first to 12th grade system, gradually and subtly changing its focus to emphasize emergent literacy and early academic skills. An apparent consequence was that the minimum entry age was raised several times to its current level. This philosophical divergence is still not fully resolved.

The daughter got a note home from school at the end of the semester, noting that she missed nine days from school, mostly for illness. We were informed that she won’t pass into 1st grade if she misses more than 28 days for the year. Could she “fail” kindergarten? She IS graded on concepts such as “identifies sight words in text”, “interprets data from graphs”, and “communicates ideas, feelings and elements of design,” and is doing well.

This is NOT her parents’ kindergarten.

I’d write more, but I have to go help her with her homework now.

ABC Wednesday
ROG

Eight Ten Meme

Sunday Stealing, yet again:

TEN TO START.

1. Are you single?
No, married.

2. Are you happy?
Sometimes. Not as much as I could be.

3. Are you bored?
Almost never. In fact, if I have something to read, I’m never bored, even waiting in line.

4. Are you naked?
Not currently.

5. Are you a blonde?
Actually I was for a very brief time when I was 2 or 3.

6. Are you moody?
Occasionally. OK, maybe more than occasionally. But usually I hide it well.

7. Are you a lover/hater?
Try to be/try not to be; doesn’t always work.

8. Are you hot/cold?
I tend to be too cold a lot more than I’m too hot.

9. Are you Irish?
I don’t know. Quite possibly.

10. Are you Asian?
Probably not.

TEN FACTS.

1. Name:
Roger Owen Green.

2. Nicknames:
Rog; beyond that, I tend to avoid them, or actively reject them outright.

3. Birth mark:
None that come to mind.

4. Hair color:
Gray.

5. Natural hair color:
Gray; I’m just not that vain about it.

6. Eye color:
Brown. Or bloodshot.

7. Height:
5’11 5/8″

8. Facebook Mood:
Never set it. Don’t even know where to set it. Don’t care.

9. Favorite color:
Blue. Or green.

10. One Place to Visit:
Paris, France. As opposed to Paris, Texas.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Lust, yes.

2. Do you believe in soul mates?
You mean the notion that there is just one person out there among the seven billion for you? No.

3. Ah, a missing question, where we get to speculate on what was so personal that the blogger declined to note it.

4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally?
Oh, goodness yes.

5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Undoubtedly. That Neil Young song is running through my mind, only love can break your heart.

6. Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes.

7. Have you ever liked someone and not told them?
More than once.

8. Are you afraid of commitment?
All things considered, I’m better in a committed relationship than not.

9. Who was the last person you hugged?
My daughter.

10. Who was the last person you kissed?
My wife.

TEN THIS OR THAT.

1. Love or lust?
Yes.

2. Ah, another missing question.

3. Cats or dogs?
Cats. My daughter is wary of dogs. Actually she’s wary of cats too, but not as much.

4. A few best friends or many regular friends?
A few best friends.

5. Television or internet?
It was TV for SO long, but I find I watch less and less.

6. Chinese Or Indian?
This is in reference to? If it’s food, Indian.

7. Wild night out or romantic night in?
Romantic. I just never was that wild.

8. Money or Happiness?
Money won’t make you happy. Happiness.

9. Night or day?
Day, about 10:15 a.m. Hey, Joe Jackson’s album Night and Day I haven’t listened to for a while.

10. MSN or phone?
Phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER.

1. Been caught sneaking out?
No, but I was caught sneaking back in.

2. Been skinny dipping?
Yes. This question seems to show up in these things. A lot.

3. Stolen?
Gum when I was seven.

4. Bungee jumped?
No.

5. Lied to someone you liked?
In all likelihood. Wait – yes.

6. Finished an entire jaw breaker?
Have no idea.

8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back?
Actually have dated exes.

9. Cried because you lost a pet?
Yes. My cat Tiger got run over by a car when I was about 12.

10. Wanted to disappear?
And sometimes did.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER.

1. Smile or eyes?
Eyes.

2. Light or dark hair?
Dark.

3. Hugs or kisses?
Hugs. well, if she’s a really GOOD kisser…

4. Shorter or taller?
Shorter or the same.

5. Intelligence or attraction?
If not intelligent, not all that attractive.

6. Romantic or spontaneous?
Spontaneously romantic.

7. Funny or serious?
Meh. Both, at the right time.

8. Older or Younger?
Doesn’t matter.

9. Outgoing or quiet?
Mix.

10. Sweet or Bad Ass?
Sweet.

TEN HAVE YOU’S.

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd?
Define perform and large. Maybe 400 singing. About 700 acting. About 3000 when I was on JEOPARDY!

2. Ever done drugs?
Sure. I’m weaning myself from caffeine currently.

3. Ever been pregnant?
I never was one of those guys who said “we’re pregnant”; that stuff bugs me. So, no.

5. Ever been on a cheer leading team?
No.

6. Ever Been on a dance team?
No, though I have danced n a performance a couple times.

7. Ever been on a sports team?
No, tried out, didn’t make it.

8. Ever been in a drama play/production?
Several in high school, usually in small roles. Only three since then.

9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley?
No, and wouldn’t own a Hummer.

10. Ever been in a rap video?
What? No.

TEN LASTS.

1. Last phone call you made:
To my wife.

2. Last person you hung out with:
My wife and daughter.

3. Last time a question was dropped.

4. Last time you worked:
Friday.

5. Last person you tackled:
My daughter.

6. Last person you IM’d:
n/a

8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with:
My wife

9. Last thing you missed:
A bus.

10. Last thing you ate:
A banana.

ROG