Tag: anniversary

Eleven years of blogging

I have long suggested that blogging, for me, is some sort of therapy.

Should-I-See-A-TherapistEleven years of blogging? If I knew now what I knew then, I’d probably do it anyway.

A month and a half ago, Ken Levine wrote a post called The link between successful writers and mental illness. Yes, there is one.

Andreas Fink at the University of Graz in Austria… found a relationship between the ability to dream up ideas and the inability to turn off that function in the brain that is always thinking…

We writers are constantly making associations between external events and internal memories. Make it stop!

Another study claimed successful individuals were eight times more likely as “regular” people to suffer from a serious depressive illness…

Lots of successful scribes have battled with extreme depression. Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Twain, Dickinson, Tennessee Williams, Eugene O’Neill – just pick any writer Woody Allen reveres.

The theory as to why there is rampant depression is the following: We think a lot, we’re often isolated, and we tend to be narcissists. And that’s for the good writers. Imagine how much worse it is for [crappy] writers.

I don’t know that I’m a good writer. I DO know that I suffer that function in the brain whereby, even in sleep, my mind is processing what I want to write. And when it’s the case that I don’t have time to do so, the brain, the mood, the temperament gets…skewed.

I have long suggested that blogging, for me, is some sort of therapy. You all are my public shrink. Well, maybe not, in as much as I started writing before anyone was looking. Perhaps you’re all part of my group therapy session?

Maybe seven times this past year, I reposted older material, including three of the four Black Comic Book posts (one’s still to come) that were SEVEN posts when I first wrote them. I imagine this year will be the same use of older material, more or less. When I hinted at doing this a couple years ago, a few of you feared that it would be too familiar. I trust that I’ve allayed that particular fear.

As you know, I often write ahead in my blog, but, because of annoying things, such as LIFE, the number of posts in the queue is down significantly, 36% from the peak. This means that one of these days, I’m going to wake up, realize I have no post prepared, and will scurry around looking for a picture of one of my cats.

In any case, today represents my 4,019th consecutive day of blogging, which surely PROVES a certain mental illness. I plan to continue to “lie on the couch” for at least another year.

Mom and dad’s anniversary – would’ve been #66

They look SO young. And happy.

Les and Trudy. Marcia Green - Mobile Uploads
As usual, the youngest of the three Green children, the one who lives in the parents’ home, is pouring through old pictures, uncovering ones that, if I had ever seen, are lost to my memory.

An astonishingly large number of the photos in her possession was taken in the backyard of 13 Maple Street, Binghamton, NY, the home of my maternal grandmother, Gertrude Williams, and her sister, Adenia Yates. My mom grew up there, and my sisters and I went there every lunchtime during the school year.

The house was tiny, the backyard puny. Yet there are several pictures of well over a dozen people in that postage stamp yard.

This is my mom-to-be, Gertrude Elizabeth Williams, who later went by Trudy because she hated her first name. My father-in-waiting, Leslie Harold Green, and Trudy met at that house, when he brought flowers to 13 Maple Street, in Binghamton’s more northerly First Ward, instead of 13 Maple Avenue, on the city’s South Side.

I’m just guessing they’re not married yet, because they look SO young. And happy.

And Les has this smug look that I’m told his future mother-in-law simply did not like. I think Trudy found it appealing after being under the thumb of her mother and aunt, and for much of her life, by her grandmother and uncle.

Mom died five years ago

I felt that was operating on two levels simultaneously.

mom graduateThe interesting thing for me about my mother’s death five years ago today, from a strictly sociological standpoint, was the fact that it, in some fashion, took place in this blog.

I had written a post on Sunday, January 30 about my mother’s stroke two days earlier, and my need to trek down to Charlotte, NC. But I didn’t actually post it until Wednesday, February 2, the day she died. I was there when it happened.

When I finally got back to what had been my mother’s house and was/is my sister’s house, that afternoon, I eventually checked my email. There were several comments on the blog hoping for my mother’s recovery.

Then Denise Nesbitt, the doyenne of ABC Wednesday, emailed me and asked how I was. I told her that my mother had died. SHE must have contacted several others because I then got a wave of condolences from people, most of whom I knew but had never met.

If I ever find the need to cry, reading the comments to that post, quite possibly the greatest number of responses I’ve ever gotten on this blog, will turn on the sobbing.

The next day, I posted about her death, then the actual trip to Charlotte (written just before her death), then, after a Super Bowl post I’d written much earlier, mom’s obituary.

Three days later – thank goodness I write ahead – Mom’s funeral program. A week later, Random Post-Funeral Thoughts. Finally, the first part of my monthly rambling contained more musings.
mom and me
What was useful in the process was the fact that my niece Alex, Marcia’s daughter, did a ton of photo scanning, some for the funeral, which I used in the posts. MANY of these pictures I had never seen, and others, not for years.

All of this was very therapeutic for me. Someone wrote, early on, that I seemed “detached.” It’s more that I felt that was operating on two levels simultaneously, one as the person grieving, and one as the journalist, for want of a better term, observing the process.

Speaking of therapeutic, a couple of months later, I recommended the book The Orphaned Adult.

When we got back to Albany, we received flowers from the aforementioned Mrs. Nesbitt, which was incredibly sweet. I went to church that last Sunday of the month when we sang Lift Every Voice and Sing, which I’ve sung for years. But I can barely get through it anymore without crying, and it started that day when I knew, profoundly, that my mom, and my last living ancestor, was gone.

The Late Great Johnny Ace, and other songs

I have always loved the backstory regarding Lennon’s Whatever Gets You Through the Night.

john-lennon-colorI’ve written often enough about John Lennon, especially on his birthday (October 9), and on this date, that I was musing on what to write on this 35th anniversary of his death. You’ll see I’ve mentioned SOMETHING about John EVERY December 8 since this blog started in 2005, except in 2007, although it was more oblique in some years than others.

In any case, I found this link to Top 5 songs written in tribute to John Lennon. Four of them I had actually put on a compilation disc together some years ago, along with:

songs written by one or more Beatles but performed by others, e.g., It’s For You by Three Dog Night; Goodbye by Mary Hopkin; Fame by David Bowie
songs about the Beatles: Beatles, Please Come Back by Gigi Parker And The Lonelies; I Dig Rock And Roll Music by Peter, Paul & Mary
*even songs by AND about the Beatles or their members: Glass Onion from Anthology 3; Early 1970 – Ringo Starr; When We Was Fab- George Harrison.

The one tribute song from the above list I was unfamiliar with was Queen’s Life is Real (Song for Lennon).

The others:
Empty Garden (Hey Hey Johnny) by Elton John
I have always loved the backstory regarding Lennon’s Whatever Gets You Through the Night; its success meant John had to play at Elton’s MSG concert in 1974, which eventually meant a reconciliation between John and Yoko.
Here’s a 1999 live version of Empty Garden.

Here Today by Paul McCartney
When I first heard it, I thought it was a bit treacly; I’ve quite changed my mind. Certainly, by the time I watched the live 2009 NYC version, I was in a totally different head.
I wish that John and Paul had shown up at the Saturday Night Live studio back in 1975.

All Those Years Ago by George Harrison
George modified the lyrics of a song he had written for Ringo because the drummer thought the song was too high in his range. It made a lot of people happy that the song featured vocal contributions from Paul and Linda McCartney, as well as Ringo’s original drum part because it was a big hit.

The Late Great Johnny Ace by Paul Simon
This song segues from a tale about a singer in the 1950s to Beatlemania to a final verse about how he first heard the news that John had been killed. From Paul Simon’s worst-selling album up to that point. The Phillip Glass ending instrumental for strings, clarinet, and flute is painful mournful.
Here’s the original acoustic demo

Anniversary # four squared

The Wife is NOT the easiest person to shop for.

Carol_Lydia.2010.IMG026Some totally random stuff re: My Spouse and Myself:

The first movie we ever saw together was Speed, probably the least representative of the films we generally see together.

Our anniversary is roughly halfway between my birthday and hers.

There are relatively few pictures of us alone together. Quite a few with her and the Daughter, usually taken by me.

Every year around St. Patrick’s Day, she reminds me how she had me cook corned beef for hours, at her house, and then we didn’t even eat it.

I was overwhelmed by her extended family, especially meeting them at the Olin family reunion in 1995. Her mother had seven siblings, so my wife had about 35 first cousins. MY parents had zero siblings, and I have zero first cousins.

She does the REAL cooking, and all of the baking. I do the stuff that you can make with a mix, or things that can be cooked on a stove (eggs, e.g.) or microwave, so I usually do more of the kitchen cleanup. Though, occasionally I’ll make a ton of lasagna.

I suppose the first TV show we watched together was Gilmore Girls. The only thing we watch together now, and only occasionally, is Who Do You Think You Are. Everything else either has been canceled (Boston Public) or we gave up on it (American Idol) or both (Glee).

It’s probably my influence whereby she realizes the value of seeing the movie in the cinema, rather than on DVD.

My favorite place we visited together is probably Niagara Falls. The first time was right after her last class one semester in grad school. I went to a conference, and she went along. The only expenses were her meals and incidentals.

I used to give her a lot of grief about being unaware of current/recent events. That happens far less often, which is one part her being more aware, and one part me being less of a pain about it. She is a WHOLE lot more politically aware than when I met her, and surely is less likely to believe that right usually wins out. Oh, dear, she’s more cynical, and it’s probably my influence.

She is NOT the easiest person to shop for. She doesn’t hint, only makes lists when I beg her to do so.

It still makes me crazy when she moves something from point A to point B, making a need to “put away” stuff at the latter location. It was FINE behind the sofa…

Our single most source of disagreement has to do with lights at night. I like to keep the hall light on downstairs, in case I get up in the middle of the night, because I’m really night blind. She finds even that amount of light problematic. We had the same problem on vacation this spring, with the light in the bathroom on, but with the door closed, was too bright for her and too dark for me. (One of our church choir members recently broke a toe ramming into a dresser in the middle of the night; that could be me!) The solution was a little flashlight that the Daughter has borrowed, and I can’t find anymore.

She continues to be late more often than she’d acknowledge, usually because she squeezes in some last-minute task; I’ve learned to have reading material for such inevitability.

This is strange, even arcane. There’s a couple who got married six months before we did, and another couple who got married six months after us; we went to both weddings. All of the couples are members of our church, but NONE of the couples were members when they got betrothed.
***
Love to you, dear.

Ramblin' with Roger
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