The Lydster, Part 88: Dead Ant

As we assassinated the critters, the Wife and I had to make a game of it.


For some reason, this spring, we had an infestation of black ants. Those big carpenter buggers. We’ve had a few before, but this rainy spring brought in more than usual. They’d get into everything. Especially the food in the pantry, which is near the back door.

One day, I discovered ants in a box of Froot Loops, but they did not bother either the Cheerios or the shredded wheat; the FL cereal ended up in the refrigerator for a time.

Conclusion: ants have a sweet tooth.

I also spilled some mouthwash (21% alcohol) in the bathroom. I cleaned up the stuff that landed on the toilet, but missed some on the floor; the ants were congregating there as well.

Conclusion: ants are lushes.

As we assassinated the critters, the Wife and I had to make a game of it. So we would sing, to the Pink Panther theme:

Dead ant. Dead ant.
Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant.
Dead annnnnnnnt.

Or, to the Long Ranger theme:

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, ant, ant.
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, ant, ant.
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, ant, ant.
Dead ant, de-de-dead ant, dead ant.

Or something like that.

The Daughter thought we were very weird. I’m sure it won’t be the last time.