The Lydster, Part 88: Dead Ant

As we assassinated the critters, the Wife and I had to make a game of it.


For some reason, this spring, we had an infestation of black ants. Those big carpenter buggers. We’ve had a few before, but this rainy spring brought in more than usual. They’d get into everything. Especially the food in the pantry, which is near the back door.

One day, I discovered ants in a box of Froot Loops, but they did not bother either the Cheerios or the shredded wheat; the FL cereal ended up in the refrigerator for a time.

Conclusion: ants have a sweet tooth.

I also spilled some mouthwash (21% alcohol) in the bathroom. I cleaned up the stuff that landed on the toilet, but missed some on the floor; the ants were congregating there as well.

Conclusion: ants are lushes.

As we assassinated the critters, the Wife and I had to make a game of it. So we we would sing, to the Pink Panther theme:

Dead ant. Dead ant.
Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant.
Dead annnnnnnnt.

Or, to the Long Ranger theme:

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, ant, ant.
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, ant, ant.
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, ant, ant.
Dead ant, de-de-dead ant, dead ant.

Or something like that.

The Daughter thought we were very weird. I’m sure it won’t be the last time.

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

7 thoughts on “The Lydster, Part 88: Dead Ant”

  1. I can confirm that most insects are lushes. We have wasps who love nothing more than to get drunk on fermenting windfall apples. It makes for a very amusing flight pattern though.

  2. I think ants do like sweet things! To kill ants and roaches in our house, we always make a mixture sugar and soda. They love the sugar but the soda kills them!

  3. You have to get your fun wherever you can, Roger, and it’s especially great if you can entertain your kids at the same time

  4. Poor little ants! Yeah, they do love sweetness. I’m lucky being in the UK where ants are a nuisance, but not a hideous nuisance, and none of them will really bite or cause real trouble, but I lure mine outside again with a pot of dampened icing sugar. They gorge on that and leave my larder alone!

  5. Oh, no…it’s just the beginning! Ants are one of the two bugs I cannot tolerate. The other is roaches. Only good for bird food.

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