My first Facebook unfriend

I noted that I would be putting my Black History discussion up on this blog, NOT the Times Union newspaper blog. And someone asked me why. I said, “It’s just not a safe place.”

thumbs-down1I expected that the first time I would bother to unfriend someone on Facebook would be because of some great, substantial, important issue. And it wasn’t. It was Because Facebook.

I wrote, on Facebook:

FACEBOOK wrote to me:
Why am I not seeing a movie?

If you aren’t seeing A Look Back movie when you visit facebook.com/lookback, it may be because you have not shared very many things on Facebook. Depending on how long you’ve been on Facebook and how much you’ve shared, you’ll see a movie, a collection of photos or a thank you card.

(I have pics.) I am SO NOT disappointed.

And someone, who I friended, because shes a friend of a friend, wrote:

“And who gives a…”

It occurred to me, at least in Facebook World, maybe some people might have cared, since LOTS of people I knew, and didn’t know, were posting their “movies”, none of which I have actually seen yet. I wanted to explain why I had not. So the response didn’t anger me, but annoyed me enough to zap her. It was just negative energy I didn’t want. I thought the CORRECT response to something on FB that was not of interest to one is to ignore it; I do it ALL THE TIME.

Whereas some I DO know passed along this nonsense about Obama having the flag lowered for Whitney Houston, but not for Shirley Temple. (In fact, Republican governor Chris Christie had the flags in New Jersey lowered for Whitney.) Because I had a relationship with him, I asked about,it, and he only forwarded it because he was showing how ridiculous it was.
***
I gave my Black History Month presentation at church, based on my February 13 blog post, and I noted that I would be putting it up on this blog, NOT the Times Union newspaper blog. And someone asked me why. I said, “It’s just not a safe place.”

I would undoubtedly, get more comments there than here, but a LOT more argumentative comments. I don’t mind discussion, but I loathe rants. And conversations about race almost inevitably turn into rants, usually having nothing to do with the original topic. Or, in the alternative, a twisting of one’s words. No thanks.
***
Speaking of rants: OK, not really a rant, but this musician I follow on Facebook wrote:

Why do people take such pleasure in being ahead of me? That car that just HAS to nudge past me as we approach the Thruway tollbooth, that guy whose pace quickens as we both approach the door to Chipotle…are their lives so devoid of triumph that this registers as an accomplishment? Are they banking those eight saved seconds for a rainy day? Or is this some hardwired, ancient simian instinct, a fear that the monkey in front of them will get the last banana?

I so relate. I’ve noticed this when I’m trying to leave the bus and someone’s trying to push past me to get off first, not trying to catch a connecting bus.

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. i hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

7 thoughts on “My first Facebook unfriend”

  1. I totally relate. I un friended someone I barely know recently because they felt like the proper response to a brief word about Pete Seeger passing was, “who?”

    If it was a joke it flopped, if it was sincere it was just stupid – if you really didn’t know who Seeger was, Google it, don’t make a stupid post on someone’ else’s post. Sheesh. This is why I share less and less online.

  2. I’m totally with you on the Facebook thing: I ignore FAR more than I react to. It annoys me how often people have to express negative opinions about things—pop culture stuff in particular. If they do it with some humour or irony I don’t mind, but to declare that something is awful—which is what they usually do—devalues other people and their opinions, it seems to me, and that’s just not okay with me. I haven’t unfriended anyone on Facebook, but I have muted some for this very reason.

  3. I, too, can relate to this. I ignore most of what is posted to Facebook. If my friends and family knew how crazy I get when I see they have used the word “too” for “to” or “your” for “you’re” or even worse, “new” for “knew” they would probably all unfriend me. I would then miss out on seeing the 48 new pictures they have recently uploaded of their boats or kittens. I just flip through all the silliness and try to send them all good thoughts, even if I rarely post such thoughts online.

  4. FB has some redeeming value. My mom relishes the fact that she can see pics of her great-grandchildren because she rarely gets to see them in person. I can keep up with The Golfer to make sure she’s still alive. On the other hand, it can become a cesspool of caustic remarks that serve no useful purpose.

  5. About the musician’s rant: I always think, when someone races to be ahead of me on the highway, “If you win the rat race, aren’t you still a rat?”

    I don’t Facebook because the people I know who are on Facebook (I mean, IRL people I know) seem to be kind of about the drama and I want less drama in my life.

  6. fillyjonk – I know stuff happens, but yes, I DO know people who are “about the f=drama” too. Some I’m related to.

  7. I admit to being, if not exactly a Drama Queen, certainly a pained lady-in-waiting — at least, when I was younger. I’m hoping I’ve grown out of that by now.

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