Why do we remember some things but not others?

Photographs and memories

My friend asked a question on Facebook that was very interesting to me:

Why do we remember some things but not others? I often pull up memories of my growing up but not memories of my life as an adult. It’s not as though I don’t remember things about my adulthood at all. It’s just that my memories of growing up seem more colorful and formative and stand out more. What do you think? I am looking for your insight. How is it for you?

I had this photo album when I was a kid. It was red. I would put pictures of my family and friends in it. It’s why I “remember” going to the Catskill Game Farm when I was three and a half. In truth, I don’t recall it at all, but I remember the picture.

I was in Cub Scouts when I was about eight. Photos remind me that Bill D. and David D. were in my group. I remember that Ray was there, but that was easy because his mom was our den mother.

But that red book is long gone. I have few pictures of my classmates and me in elementary school, except for a handful my old friends have shared.

JFK

Do I remember November 22, 1963, because it was so traumatizing or because my friends and I reminded each other with stories? I misremembered that my friend Karen was in that classroom, maybe because she was almost ALWAYS there.

My sister Leslie and I were involved in an altercation when I was 11, and she was 10, give or take two years. But she misremembered that it was between her and our baby sister Marcia, who was five years younger than I. She held on to this belief until a couple of years ago.

I remember high school better than elementary school, partly because of high school yearbook photos. I was also student government president, so there were a few memorable events.

As indicated in this blog, 1972 was a memorable year for me. So were 1974, 1977 (living in four different cities) and 1978. The same is true of later years. The year 1990, when I quit Empire Blue Cross, worked the Census, and started library school, is embossed in my mind.

In 1998, I took a vacation and appeared on JEOPARDY, among other highlights. I got married in 1999, and our daughter was born in 2004. Those things and events around it, I remember.

The blog as a memory aid

What’s helped me since 2005 is this here blog. Writing it down has helped in a manner that tweeting or a quick Facebook post does not. It’s not that I always remember stuff; after about seven thousand posts, I’ve noticed that I can even forget that I blogged about something. (This is why I usually write about people on their 70th birthday instead of their 58th so that I won’t replicate my efforts.)

In general, I remember things that I attach to numbers. I know I went to the Lucy-Desi Museum, the Pro Football, and the Rock and Roll Halls of Fame in 2016 because the international Olin family reunions have been in years ending in 1 and 6.

Conversely, something that seems ephemeral dashes right out of my head. I remember three items I needed at the grocery store but not four. This is why Allah created the shopping list.

Like many people, keeping track of dates has been mucked up by COVID-19. Things are before COVID or after COVID.

What do you tend to remember, and what will you forget?

Author: Roger

I'm a librarian. I hear music, even when it's not being played. I used to work at a comic book store, and it still informs my life. I won once on JEOPARDY! - ditto.

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