Roger O Green

Real mothers

Undefining Motherhood

I found this piece by Katie Phang of MSNBC: She “sounds off on Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s suggesting stepmothers aren’t ‘real mothers’ during a House Subcommittee Hearing.

Phang: “MTG may try to redefine what it means to be a mother, but she’s wrong and will fail miserably because being a parent is certainly not what she thinks it is. Being a mother is more than just giving birth to a child. It’s about unconditional love, guidance, patience, listening, and understanding. With Mother’s Day around the corner, maybe MTG needs to take a moment and learn what that special day truly recognizes and honors.”

Of course, MTG used her usual scattershot rhetorical bluster, as she did when calling for a “national divorce” to split the country into two. This time it was to specifically attack Randi Weingarten, the American Federation of Teachers head.

Still, I know many mothers who became so in myriad ways. And I’m sure that, for instance, Jill Biden was a mother to Beau and Hunter after their birth mother and sister were killed.

Not that

What’s more interesting to me is an article entitled What Is a Mother? Not What You’ve Been Told. It’s on the website Undefining Motherhood.

Katy Huie Harrison, Ph.D., notes the pain of reading a book called What Are Moms Made Of? “According to this book, a mother offers ‘Full-hearted hugs from two generous arms. Grace under pressure and know-how calm.’ Sorry to break it to you, world, but a mom is not always ‘full-hearted’ and ‘generous,’ nor is she always ‘graceful’ or ‘calm.’

“Nor is she necessarily the selfless angel we want her to be. When I Googled the question, ‘What is a mother?’, the words I saw most were ‘selfless,’ ‘strong,’ ‘loving,’ ‘sacrifice,’ ‘instinct,’ and ‘never complains.’

“But let me be real with you. Do I consider myself a strong woman who loves my child with intensity and will sacrifice abundantly for him? Hell yes!

“Am I selfless, ever trusting in my supposed maternal instinct, and willing to fully sacrifice without complaining? Hell no!

“And I think I’m a great mom.

“#notjustamom exists for a reason, y’all. Moms do a lot for their children, but most of them do a lot for themselves, and I hope the rest of the world, too.

“No one can fit the outlandish definitions our society has constructed for what it means to be a mother.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms, however you came to the role.

Sunday Stealing: Kwizgiver

The Sunday Stealing this week is from Kwizgiver.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?

Right now? Just a blanket. But if you asked me at 1:30 Friday afternoon, it would be all the stuff my daughter brought home from college, the vehicle filled to the gills. Oh, and my daughter was back there, too.

2. When was the last time you threw up?

I have no idea. Maybe when I had the flu 15 years ago? BTW, I’ve gotten a flu shot ever since.

3. What’s your favorite word or phrase?

There are so many. I’ll go with antepenultimate. I only learned about Penultimate while reading the next-to-the-last episode of the original Elfquest comic book, created by Wendy and Richard Pini. Finding there’s a word for the third to the last pleases me.

4. Name three people who made you smile today?

My daughter’s friend helped load our vehicle with my daughter’s stuff. One of the techs who helped me get my phone working. And one of the techs who got my watch working.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?

Yesterday, I ate breakfast at the hotel we stayed at the night before.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

I was dealing with my new phone provider.

7. What would constitute the perfect evening for you?

Sitting around listening to music and reading the newspaper.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?

No.

I often do that

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?

What kind of question is “Have you ever been to a strip club?”

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?

Strawberry. Oddly, I can get it in hand-packed pints at Stewart’s, the local purveyor of dairy products and other things. But f I want a half gallon, it’ll be Neapolitan (vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry).

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Diet Pepsi

12. What are you wearing right now?

Shirt, pants, slippers.

13. What was the last thing you ate?

A waffle with banana and strawberry for breakfast.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

No. Here is a recent JEOPARDY clue: A NEW COAT $1200: In 2019, this iconic star said a red coat she wore to protest the dangers of climate change will be the last clothing item she buys. Who is Jane Fonda?

15. When was the last time you ran?

Pre-COVID. I knew my left knee was bone-on-bone for a few years, mainly from a 1994 accident. I didn’t know my right knee was ALSO bone-on-bone until April 2023.

Most awarded songs #8

Albany Institute of History and Art

These are more of the most awarded songs #8. They’ve been touted by the Grammys, the Oscars, Rolling Stone magazine, RIAA, ASCAP, CMA, NPR, and all other sorts.

80. We Are Family – Sister Sledge. This song became the theme song for the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates. The baseball team featured Dave Parker and the aging (at 39) Willie Stargell, referred to as Pops. They played the Baltimore Orioles in the World Series and the Bucs were down 3-1 to the Birds. Inexplicably, I made a small wager that the Pirates would win, first game 5, then game 6, which they did. But I didn’t bet on game 7 when the Pirates took the Series. This song was the first written by Nile Rodgers and Bernard Edwards for someone other than Chic.
79. Purple Rain – Prince and the Revolution. I saw the movie. Great tunes, including by The Time. The song was the last tune performed live by Prince.
78. Born To Be Wild – Steppenwolf. On the Easy Rider soundtrack, of course. But it’s the hit from that first Steppenwolf album, which is my favorite of theirs.
77. I Want You Back – Jackson Five. Unashamedly, unironically, I loved the most of the songs from the group’s first two albums. This was the first hit. I liked singing along on the Jermaine parts, the second lead. Incidentally, the B-side, a cover of Who’s Loving You, is also great.

The music died

76. That’ll Be The Day – The Crickets. Buddy Holly wasn’t credited for contractual reasons. Regardless, given how young Holly was when he died, it’s astonishing what a force of nature he was.
75. Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow – The Shirelles. The Goffin/King song was the first by a black all-girl group to reach number one in the US pop charts in early 1961. Carole King later covered it on Tapestry.
74. Beat It – Michael Jackson. A rock song, featuring a guitar solo by Eddie Van Halen.
73. American Pie – Don McLean. Speaking of Buddy Holly, the line ‘the day the music died” of course refers to a plane crash on February 3, 1959. Holly, Richie Valens, the Big Bopper, and others were killed. The song was the source of much speculation about its meaning.
72. Maggie May – Rod Stewart. As much as any song, this song defined my freshman year in college, 1971-72, with the constant play on dorm record players of the Every Picture Tells A Story album.
71. I Want To Hold Your Hand – The Beatles. There is a famous photo of The Beatles engaged in a pillow fight. It took place in a hotel in France after they heard that the song went #1 in the United States. A month later, the band was on Ed Sullivan. I saw the Harry Benson photo at the Albany Institute of History and Art, a part of a show called The Beatles: Now and Then in early 2003. There was a complementary exhibition, THE BEATLES: Community Stories, in which I participated.

Practice Joy

Karen Oliveto

Since Easter, our pastors have offered a series of sermons called Practice Joy. The anthems and hymns have been joy-based.

Still, sometimes I forget about doing joy. I read the news or watch it on television and become distraught. It’s not just the latest shooting, but about some state legislator from Tennessee (I think) who says we can’t do anything about it. Or the book bans that are designed to “protect” our kids from becoming transvestite Latinx bisexuals spouting Critical Race Theory. When I see this, I curse at my television, quite literally.

But two events last weekend reminded me of the power of joy. One was the sermon, tied to Romans 12:9-21. Specifically, in verse 15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” There is power in not going through the pain alone; there is even a reflective joy.

The other was that my wife and I attended a gathering at the First United Methodist Church of Schenectady. The congregation was celebrating its 27th Anniversary as a Reconciling Congregation. For those not versed in UMC lingo, “All persons are recipients of God’s love and grace; God intends the church to be a community which embodies love, grace and justice for all people as a sign of God’s covenant. We, therefore, will continue to seek and welcome persons of any age, gender, race, ethnic background, sexual orientation, physical or mental ability as full participants in our community of faith.”

The speaker

The speaker was Bishop Karen P. Oliveto of the Mountain Sky Conference, the first openly LGBTQAI Bishop in the United Methodist Church. She may be the most optimistic pastor I’ve encountered, and I’ve known a few.

After speaking for a while, she asked us to discuss the things that distress us with a neighbor. This was very easy. After another bit of her sharing, she called on us to share what we did to bring ourselves joy. This was more difficult.

After the talk, my wife and Karen got reacquainted. Karen is the sister of one of my wife’s best friends since college. Karen had spoken in Oneonta, about an hour from here, at some point pre-COVID, but I couldn’t make it.

On the lookout

After the talk, I started looking for every opportunity to find joy. We went out to a diner and had cheeseburgers. Of late, we rarely have beef, so it was terrific.

Then I went home. A blanket had covered my stuffed animals because I was tidying up. But they gave me joy – I was reminded of this when a young girl at the Karen Oliveto talk mentioned hers – so I needed to liberate them. One of my favorites is Lenny. He’s named after Leonard Bernstein and has the sweetest roar. We hung out on the sofa and watched TV.

The next day at church, there were several opportunities for humor. Like many funny things, the humor is diminished in the retelling. One encounter involved pizza, inside out.

Don’t forget to practice joy. It’s easy to forget.

Movie review: Air (2023)

Michael Jordan’s footwear

On the surface, there is no reason the movie Air (2023) should work. It’s a film about the inner workings of Nike, a sneaker company, a clear #3 in the basketball world, trying to get players to endorse and wear their product. It sounds as though it could be boring.

Yet I was captivated at the onset, from the opening montage of 1984 images – “Where’s the beef,” Mr. T on the A-Team – to the musical selections. The key, though, was driven by Alex Convery in his debut as a screenwriter. The dialogue was fresh without being affected.

Sonny Vaccaro (Matt Damon) is a middle-aged, overweight guy with a radical plan. Instead of trying to sign three or four rookie prospects to put on the foot apparel as usual, Nike should commit the entire budget to one player. Sonny violates corporate protocol to try to get Michael Jordan to agree to sign with them.

While getting some support from his colleague Howard White (Chris Tucker), Sonny is getting resistance from his boss Rob Strasser (Jason Bateman), and especially Nike head honcho Phil Knight (Ben Affleck.) To contact Michael, he has to deal with the athlete’s mother Doloris (Viola Davis).

There’s no need to fear

This is a sports story about an underdog. But the underdog is not Michael, though the actual player had been underestimated in the past. The underdog is Nike, and especially Sonny.

Interestingly, the character Michael himself barely appears in the film. The creators decided, probably rightly, that the actor would be unfavorably compared with the real deal. Thus the shots of Michael (Damien Young) are usually from his back. He barely speaks. Film clips of Michael are used, especially near the end.

The acting is solid throughout, and director Ben Affleck keeps the mostly talk-driven film moving. It was reviewed well.

BTW, at least seven movies on the IMDb titled Air in this century alone exist. I saw the MJ-related Air at the Madison Theatre in Albany at a Wednesday afternoon matinee on the last day it played there, along with two other people.

Trailers

Before the movie, there were trailers for three movies. One was for the Dungeons and Dragons film, and another was for Guardians of the Galaxy 3.

The first was the red band trailer for Sisu. “When an ex-soldier who discovers gold in the Lapland wilderness tries to take the loot into the city, Nazi soldiers led by a brutal SS officer battle him.” It was quite violent; you can find it on YouTube, but I’m not linking it.

From the New York Times: “The Finnish way of life is summed up in ‘sisu,’ a trait said to be part of the national character. The word roughly translates to “grim determination in the face of hardships,” such as the country’s long winters: Even in adversity, a Finn is expected to persevere, without complaining.”